Thursday, March 2, 2017

We Get Letters From Experienced Consanguinamorists

We have two letters to share today from people who've experienced consanguinamorous relationships.

The first was a comment on "Like Parent, Like Child" from someone in an intergenerational relationship...
My mom and I are involved in a relationship. My dad had an accident and became bed ridden. My mom was always busy taking care of him and also doing a lot of works to make the ends meet. In this period I tried to help and support her as much as possible. Eventually we became very close and open to each other. Gradually we started building up attraction to each other. We started acting on that and becoming intimate and we realized what we both want. Though at first it was going on behind my dad's back but my and me both felt guilty about deceiving him so we confessed to him.

This happens more than people think, and it always has; someone in the family becomes incapacitated or passes, and the result is that erotic and romantic energies are redirected. This blog supports polyamory, open relationships, and other forms of ethical nonmonogamy instead of cheating, but the realities of the way things currently are in so many places discourages honesty. Having relationship rights for all will help people avoid getting into situations where cheating seems to be the best option.
And to our surprise he understood our situation and said he has no problem with it as long as we are both happy.
That's wonderful!

So its been going on for a while. My dad passed away few years back.
You have our sympathies.
But my mom and me are helping each other. We live like a couple after moving to a new city.
Moving to where nobody knows of your relation generally makes things much easier for people in consangiunamorous relationships.
We really like to marry if it could be possible.
Congratulations on your love. Someday you'll be able to legally marry. There's no good reason you should be denied your rights.

The second was a comment from someone who'd been in a sibling relationship, responding to a comment left by someone else on our most popular entry, AND GETS SLIGHTLY EXPLICIT...
My sister and I shared an apartment at an out of town university. She is almost 2 years my senior. After about 3 months we started chatting about the ideal partner; shy admitted that she would one day like to have a partner just like me; I had to admit that I regarded her as the ideal model so strive for as a partner. With that the questions of GSA came to the fore, and we talked about it at length (stretching over days).
Oh, to have a journal of those conversations.
Well, to cut a long story short, we decided that we would like to try making love to each other once (more or less as an experiment); we decided that should either have any hangups or reservations afterwards, we would not do it again.
That is a great way to handle things.
We ended up under the shower, soaping in each other, kissing under the water, and drying each other with a towel each. Neither was a dominant one, and we more or less decided simultaneously that we would like to take it to the next step.
As with any other relationship, kisses, embraces, and caresses (even fully clothed) can allow for the boundaries of affection to be explored, and if anyone feels it is best not to continue, it can be stopped. There is nothing requiring anyone commit to anything they're not sure they want to do. Some people decide against intercourse, for example, but continue to enjoy other acts of affection.
The first time was a wonderful experience, and yet we did not just jump into it. Even when I was about to enter her the first time, I asked whether we should continue. She said "yes", and pulled me nearer. Even when I entered her fully, I stopped and asked whether we should proceed, since I could still pull out at that stage. We both agreed to continue.

It was the most erotic experience of our lives.
Many people find that to be the case. Even in many of the GSA cases in which people didn't know of their genetic relation before getting together, they've said the chemistry, connection, and eroticism was more intense than they'd ever experienced before.
The next morning she went to the campus clinic to get the morning after pill, and went on the contraceptive pill.

It was the start of a wonderful relationship, fulfilling in each other's physical and spiritual needs, and we made love almost daily. Sadly it came to an end when she completed her studies and moved away.
Realising that we would not be allowed to marry, we eventually both ended up marrying someone else. I often wonder what the end would have been, had we been allowed to marry.
It's ridiculous that any consenting adults would be denied the right to marry and feel like they have to give up their affections as a result. Sometimes marrying others works out, but sometimes there are problems, in part because the prior relationship was not allowed to run its natural course.

We'd like to hear more from these people and from anyone who has experienced or witnessed similar relationships.
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  1. If this persons father can be open minded and accept their relationship then so can others. We need more open mindedness and acceptance to make this world a better place.

  2. Most people dont stop and think about what happens when someone that they love deeply like a spouse, dies. It hurts. Its the worst pain that you will ever know. I wouldnt wish that pain on my worst enemy. I know because it happened to me. Its as if part of you dies with that person. In an instant your whole world changes. You had someone who shared your bed and every other aspect of your life and then all of a sudden everything is taken away from you. If you ask me, i think that its so great that the mother and son had each other when the dad died. And most people wont understand until the person or persons that they love the most dies. If i were the father i would be able to die in peace knowing that they had each other.

  3. There is so much that i like about reading what others talk about their lives. The men, no matter how old they are, or even if they are younger than the girls, are always asking the girls if they are okay or if they want to stop or if they want more. And we always hear about the girls asking for more. So to all you people that think the men overpower or somehow force themselves on these girls, there you have it. Its consenting adults doing what they want. Thats right. Consenting! Adults!

  4. Im sorry to hear about the second couple. I think their relationship should have been able to run its course naturally.

  5. Ohh. And for all the people that think its all about sex, why would these people want to get married if it were just about sex.

  6. Thank you for sharing those here. I'm sorry about the second couple, I wish they had stayed together. I am happy that the son and mom have a strong and happy relationship, and that his dad supported them.
    My relationship with my brother is as strong as ever, and I have shared our story in various places, including this blog, and have gotten a lot of positive responses. Of course it's not all positive, but still it makes me happy to know there are people like us out there.

    Liz Smith

  7. Hello Keith, I'm the one who posted the first incident between my mom and me. Thanks for sharing it separately. I hope it helps someone who is still in a shadowy place of should or shouldn't. When it is love and when we don't hurt anyone then we should be given a chance to live at our own choice. Society shouldn't dictate us what to do. Before we started we thought about it and the consequences and how it'd change the existing relation between us. It was never about sex. Though it is a significant part of our love life.

    1. HI!How are things going between you and your mom now?Did your mom and dad fall out of love?I find it amazing that he accepted it.Since he has passed you basically live as a couple?What are your ages and how do you go about without anyone questioning?Iam 24 and my mom is 45.She got divorced two years ago from her 2nd husband.We are now sexually involved and although we were not sure it has blossomed into a love affair.We are very very happy.I never knew I could have such bliss from the women who gave birth to me.It is incredible.Unfortunately,it will always be a secret because we have a lot of relatives.If We could marry and get away with it we would.Even making her pregnant.

    2. Anonymous, thanks for sharing that. If you haven't done so already, please contact me at fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com

    3. It's going well as it could be. I'm 25 now mom 49. As I told that after dad died we moved into a new town where nobody knows us. But they are curious about our age difference. But we usually avoid talking with them about that.


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