This blog has featured scores of exclusive interviews with lovers are denied the freedom to be open about their love and are, by law, denied the freedom to marry and have that marriage treated equally under the law.
The woman interviewed below is, and was, clearly able to consent to her relationships. Along with her lover, she should be free to decide whether or not to legally marry, yet they could be harassed and persecuted if they were open about their love.
They are consenting adults who aren't hurting anyone; why should they be denied
their rights? In much of the world, including all but a couple of US states, they could be criminally prosecuted for their love.
Read the interview below and
see for yourself what she has to say. You may think her relationships are shocking, interesting, or you might find it incredibly sexy, but whatever your reaction,
should these lovers be denied equal access to marriage or any other rights?
***THIS INTERVIEW DOES GET SLIGHTLY EXPLICIT***
FULL MARRIAGE EQUALITY: Tell us about yourself.
Free Spirit: I'm 45 years old and I'm a manager at a supermarket grocery store. I was born and raised in Tennessee, so I'm a southern girl. I have two younger half-sisters. I love country music and dancing. One of my favorite hobbies is painting pictures. .
FME: Are you married or have you ever been legally and/or ceremonially married?
I've never been married because the only man I wanted to marry was my father, but of course, by law, we weren't allowed to marry.
FME: How would you describe your sexual orientation and your relationship orientation?
Back in high school, I made out with a few girls just to impress boys, but I've never had sex with the same gender before, so I'm heterosexual. My son and I are in a monogamous relationship. I don't like to share.
FME: You currently live with...?
I live with the man that I love, my son.
FME: You are in a sexual/romantic relationship with your son? You are biological mother and son, and you raised him?
I am happily in a romantic relationship with my 27-year-old biological son, who I raised. He makes me feel young and beautiful. He treats me like a queen. He's a good man, an amazing son, and a fantastic lover.
FME: What was your childhood like?
I've never really known my mother, because she was always in rehab or in jail, so she wasn't capable of raising me. My father gave me the best childhood I could possibly have. My father spoiled me as a child with a lot of gifts. He took me to a lot of fun places. We took a lot of silly pictures together. We were a happy family.
My father and my mother never got married, but my father used to be married to my stepmom. They had two children together, which are my two younger sisters. When I was 12, they got a divorced. My two younger half-sisters were taking turns living with my stepmom and my father. One day, my stepmom got re-married, and decided to move out of the state, and she took her two daughters with her. I still keep in contact with them through social media.
FME: You had a romantic and/or sexual relationship with your father, as well? He was your biological father as far as you knew?
Before my son, I was in a romantic relationship with my biological father for 15 beautiful years. It started when I was 23 and he was 43. He passed away at the age 58 and I was 38 at the time. He was killed in an accident by a drunk driver. I miss him so much.
FME: How did sexual affection become a part of your relationship with your father?
I got knocked up in my senior year when I was 17, and then I gave birth when I was 18. The father of the child never once helped out with the baby. He would rather party and chase girls. My father helped me to raise my son. I didn't have a job at the time, so he provided everything for my son and me. He went through the whole process with me of waking up in the middle of the night whenever the baby started to cry. We did everything together with the baby by teaching him how to walk, how to eat, and how to speak.
Neither one of us had time for a relationship. Those first five years raising the baby together brought us closer as father and daughter, and one day, we were closer than usual. At that time, I was 23 and my father was 43. I was on the couch crying to my father and apologizing to him for getting pregnant so young and not being able to finish school. I felt like I let him down as a daughter. My father was holding me and telling me that it's not my fault, and that he's very proud that I'm his daughter. Our faces were so close to each other, and before I realized what was happening, we kissed.
The kiss was so passionate and enthusiastic. I was sitting on top of my father on the couch and I could feel his hands rubbing on my back and my thigh while he was kissing on my neck and my breast. I was hypnotized by his touches and kisses. I never knew my father to be so affectionate until that very moment. His kisses and touches were becoming too much for me to bear. I needed to feel my father inside of me. When my father entered inside of me for the very first time, I felt a strong sense of fatherly love that I've never felt before. I could feel emotionally and physically how much my father loved me and it was the most passionate feeling ever.
FME: Can you describe more about your feelings during that?
I felt like the last piece to our relationship as father and daughter had been fulfilled. You feel the complete circle of bonding because now sex is a part of the father and daughter relationship. The relationship between father and daughter doesn't actually change, but instead, it evolves. Now the phrase, "I love you" becomes "I'm in love with you." I already loved him as a my father, and then I was loving him even more as a man, and vice versa. Besides the sex part, I couldn't believe that my own father can made me feel like this. I felt nervous and excited. I felt like I was on the edge of the world, like there's butterflies in my stomach, like my heart was about to jump right out of my chest. I felt love, love, love. The relationship as father and daughter becomes more memorable and even romantic. It truly is a love like no other.
FME: Before you and your father became so intimate, had you ever thought this would be possible or enjoyable; did you have any opinion one way or the other about close relatives or family members being together? Do you, or have you had feelings like this for any other close family members?
I haven't really put too much thought into incest and I still don't know what that word means. I can't tell you what incest is, but I can tell what love is. My father and son are the only two family members that I've ever slept with. Each has been quite a charmer. I've had a lot of men that have tried to come up and talk to me, but they don't impress me like my father and son. Maybe I'm only attracted to men in my family. I think two of my uncles and two of my nephews are attractive. I may have flirted with them awhile back, but at the end of the day, I'm loyal to my son. He's the only one that gets all of me.
FME: How did sexual affection become a part of your relationship with your son?
After my father passed away, I went into a deep depression. Not only I feel like I'd lost my father, but I'd also lost my soulmate. I didn't eat, I didn't drink, and I didn't go outside. I hardy walked out of my bedroom. I would cry and looked at pictures and watched videos of us that we'd made at home. I was totally depressed for over a year. At the time, I was 39 and my son was 21.
One night, my son came into room and said, "Mom, I want to make you feel better." He kissed me, and made love to me, and then he left. I couldn't believe what had just happened, but I did feel a little bit better. I felt a similar connection that I had with my father. I wasn't even focused on my depression any more, I was focused on my son.
I was in my bedroom for a long time trying to figure out what I should do next. I finally made my decision, and I knocked on my son's bedroom door, and I told him that I didn't want to sleep alone that night. My son said it was OK if I slept in his room. I had a short, black nightgown on and I crawled into my son's bed. He had his back turn to me, I called my son's name a few times and I asked him if he could turn around to face his mother. My son turned his body around, and I slowly went in, and kissed him. I got on top of my son and started making love to him. When I heard my son moan, I smiled because he was enjoying it as much as I did. I stayed with my son that night in his bed and we made love one more time. We cuddled and told one another that we love each other. That night was the beginning of a beautiful romantic relationship between us.
FME: Can you describe your feelings during that?
They were the same amazing feelings that I had with my father, but this time with my son. I felt like the role had been reversed and now I was the parent. The passion behind the lovemaking between my son and I was overwhelming. I gave birth to this man, so to have him back inside of me felt like we are one. I felt a love and desire for my son that I'd never felt before. I like looking at my son's face when he makes love to me, because I've known and loved that face since the day I first held him in my arms when he was born, so to hold my son in my arms again as a grown man when he's inside of me feels like our bond is unbreakable.
FME: How do you describe the lovemaking now? Taboo? Natural? Especially erotic? How was it with your father?
Very loving and affectionate. I loved the foreplay with my father and how we cuddled after making love. It's so intense and I felt so close to my father when we looked into each other's eyes as we made love. I missed hearing my father calling me "baby" because he would say it with so much love or sometimes when I woke up in bed, I'd see my father smiling at me and he'd say, "Good morning, beautiful." I would get so weak when my father used to walk up behind me, and put his arms around my waist, and softly kiss me on my neck. My father made me feel loved as a woman and as a daughter.
My son on the other hand, is a little bit more kinky. It might have something to do with his age. My son loves to talk dirty during sex and even on the phone, but I do enjoy those dirty talks with my son. My son can't seem to keep his hands off of me. You can say, he's a butt grabber, but I love him for it because he keeps me young. It only feels taboo if it feels wrong, but sex with them it has felt natural, loving, and passionate.
FME: Is there a typical routine as far as sex goes in terms of how it starts and progresses?
My father liked to flirt a lot and so does my son. My father loved women in lingerie and would buy it for my birthdays and Christmas. Birthdays and holidays are always a little bit sexier than the usual days. I remembered one particular Father's Day when he came home, and I was wearing a small shirt and panties. On the front on the shirt, it said, "Daddy's Girl" in pink letters. I don't know if it was the whole outfit, but the animal came out of my father on that day. We were having hardcore loud sex and it was fun.
My son is a sex machine. He wants sex all of the time. One time he convinced me to have sex with him at a family gathering. We did it in somebody's room, but I have to admit, it was exciting to know that we could get caught. Besides that, my son is very charming. He brings me flowers out of the blue. My son calls me "Hot Mamma." He makes me laugh a lot of times and that goes a long way. Depending on my son's behavior, sometimes I feel like I'm his mother and sometimes I feel like I'm his woman, but I have to say, my son is very good at seducing his mother.
FME: Describe your relationship now. Do you see each other as family or lovers, or are those two roles inseparable at this point? Are you in a closed relationship with each other?
My son and I've been together for six years, but like I said before, I don't like to share. I give my son all of the love he needs from a woman emotionally and sexually. My son makes me feel loved and appreciated as a woman and as a mom. We take pretty good care of each other's needs. The fact that my son is a great lover does make me proud of him as a mother. My father and I were committed to one another for 15 years.
FME: Did your son know about you and your father?
From an early age, my son knew about us. He was confused at first, but he understood as he got older. He sees his grandpa as his dad so the tragedy was hard for the both of us.
FME: Does anyone else in your life know the full, true nature of your past relationship and your current relationship?
Some family and friends know and not all of them are supportive of it. A majority of family and friends only know about my father and me. Only a very few that understand know about my son and me.
FME: Having to hide the full nature of your relationship from some people can be a disadvantage. Can you describe how that has been? Are there any other disadvantages? Conversely, do you think consanguineous relationships have some advantages and some things better than unrelated lovers?
Some of the advantages that come with being in a father/daughter and mother/son relationship is that you're completely yourself when you're with that person. You're giving that person all of who you are. When you mix being family and being lovers together, you get the best of both worlds. You receive a deeper level of bonding and connecting with your father or daughter or mother or son. Sex only destroys the relationship if it was force or abuse. If both entered the sexual relationship with loving and caring for one another, then the sex will strengthen the love and deepen the bond between them. To me, it's the most powerful love I know, and I got to experience that powerful love with my father and my son.
FME: What do you want to say to people who disapprove of your relationships, or disapprove of anyone having this kind of relationship?
It's not disgusting that I was in love with my father and it's not disgusting that I'm in love with my son. What is disgusting is your prejudice towards us. I understand that it's not meant for everyone and I don't encourage anyone to try it unless you want to experience it for yourself. I understand that most people don't feel that way about their family. I know that the word "family" and "love" is a strong word in everybody's vocabulary, but because it's also a strong word for me, it is the reason why I loved my father and love my son so much. The thought of you having sex with your father and son is disgusting to you, but the thought of having sex with my father and son is beautiful to me because I feel a real passion behind the love-making.
FME: Some speculate or theorize that consanguinamorous attraction could have a genetic component to it. Do you think that might be the case in your family, that you are biologically predisposed to being with a close family member?
I think it's true. After I lost my father, I didn't want to get into any relationship or even have sex any other men. I was willing to be alone for the rest of my life. The love is just not complete without any family relation at all, and even the sex wouldn't feel the same without the family bond ties to it. I'm so thankful that I have experienced that double-love with my father and son.
FME: Do you have any children together, and if so, how are they?
The only thing I regret with my father is that we never had children. We both wanted to have children, we even talked about naming our babies. We were so worried about the babies being born defected that it just never happened.
FME: If you could get legally married, and that included protections against discrimination, harassment, etc., would you?
Sometimes my son tells me, "Mom, I'm going to marry you one of these days." I never go the chance to marry my father, but hopefully one day, I'll get the chance to marry my son.
FME: What advice do you have for someone who may be experiencing these feelings for a relative or family member, especially a parent or adult child?
It's OK to have those feelings as long as it comes from a place of love. You are not alone. Don't rush into the situation. You have to start slow. You have to give the other person a chance to feel the same way, too. It's OK to ask your father or son, if they think you're pretty. You can even push it a little bit further, but don't scare them away. Sometimes, the right kiss at the right time can excite the emotions from within. The other person might not even know that they feel the same way, too.
FME: Have you met in-person or do you know anyone else who has experience with consanguinamory or consanguineous sex that you know of?
Unfortunately, I haven't met any at all. I may have met a person in a consanguinamorous relationship but I probably just didn't know because so many of us stay quiet about our relationships. It's sad how something beautiful has to be kept as a secret.
FME: Any plans for the future?
To continue loving my son as his mother and as his woman.
Clearly, she was a consenting adult with her father and she and her adult son are consenting adults who aren't hurting anyone and yet can't even exercise their basic human right to marry. They are happy and in love, yet they are denied that fundamental right
to marry. It is likely her orientation includes consanguinamory, which seems to be the case for at least some people who have consanguinamorous relationships.
Why should they be denied their rights? There’s no good reason.We
need to recognize that all adults should be free to be with any and all
consenting adults as they mutually consent, and part of doing that is
adopting relationship rights for all, including full marriage equality sooner rather than later. People are being hurt because of a denial of their basic human rights to love each other freely.
You can read other interviews I have done here. As you'll see, there are people from all walks of life who are in consanguinamorous relationships.
If you are in a relationship like this and are looking for help or others you can talk with, read this.
If you want to be interviewed about your "forbidden" relationship, connect with me by checking under the "Get Connected" tab there at the top of the page or emailing me at fullmarriageequality at yahoo dot com.
If you are concerned about pregnancies between close relatives, read this.
If you know someone who is in a relationship like this, please read this.
Thank you to Free Spirit for doing this interview! We wish you well in your intergenerational consanguinamorous relationship!
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