The couple interviewed below are clearly able to consent to their relationship. They should be free to decide whether or not to legally marry, yet they could be harassed and persecuted if they were open about their love. They are consenting adults who aren't hurting anyone; why should they be denied their rights? In much of the world, including all but a couple of US states, they could be criminally prosecuted for their love.
Read the interview below and see for yourself what they have to say. You may think this relationship is interesting, or it might make you uncomfortable, or you might find it incredibly sexy, but whatever your reaction, should these lovers be denied equal access to marriage or any other rights?
***THIS INTERVIEW DOES GET BRIEFLY, SLIGHTLY EXPLICIT***
FULL MARRIAGE EQUALITY: Tell us about yourself.
Daughter: I'm 5'6" and I'm the only child. I'm an outdoor person. I love hiking, running, and swimming. I think I'm an average looking woman but my Daddy thinks I'm sexy and that makes me feel attractive.
Father: I'm 6'0" and I'm the youngest. I have an older brother and older sister. I'm also an outdoor person, so you can see why my daughter loves the outdoors so much.
FME: Are you married or have you ever been legally and/or ceremonially married?
Daughter: I've never been married.
Father: I used to be married to her mother, until one day, I found out that she was cheating behind my back with a co-worker. I made her choose, and unfortunately, she chose the other man over me. I'll be honest, it shattered me because I really did love her. None of that matters anymore because now I'm in a great relationship with my daughter. She's the only one that truly makes me happy.
FME: How would you describe your sexual orientation and your relationship orientation?
Daughter: I'm heterosexual. I have found other women attractive, but nothing too strong or too serious.
Father: The last time I checked, I still like women. Sorry for the humor.
FME: You currently live with... ?
Daughter: I'm living with the man of my dreams, my Daddy.
Father: My cutie pie. That's what I call my daughter.
FME: You are in a sexual/romantic relationship? What are your ages? Is he your biological father, adoptive father, or stepfather?
Daughter: I'm 24 years old and I'm in a romantic relationship with my father, and he's the most loving and caring person that I know. He is my biological father and he's the best daddy in the world. I love being his daughter and his woman because he treats me so special.
Father: I'm 44 years old and I'm in a romantic relationship with my beautiful daughter. She is my biological daughter and I love her dearly. I would never hurt her or force her to do anything against her will. She's old enough to knows what she wants. Trust me, I even try to change her mind myself but she's so consistent on being with me only. I guess it's my fault for her being so stubborn because I've raised her like that.
FME: What was your childhood like? What was family life like?
Daughter: It was a normal childhood and a normal family. I was always a daddy's girl and I still am. When I was in high school, a lot of times, I would rather stay home and watch movies with my daddy instead of going out with my friends, but it was a normal father/daughter relationship. Nothing ever happened between us back then, not even a single touch.
Father: We had a good normal father/daughter relationship. I dropped her off at school and then I'd come back to pick her up from school. I taught her how to ride a bike. I took her to the circus. I came to her school shows. I was there for her birthdays. I did pretty much all of the things that a traditional father did with his daughter.
FME: When/how did sexual affection become a part of your relationship? Was it a sudden event or a gradual process? Did you know ahead of time it was going to turn sexual or was it more spontaneous? Is it clear who made the first move?
Daughter: This is an interesting question. At the time, I was with my boyfriend for two years and my 21st birthday was coming up. I wanted to spend time with my boyfriend on my birthday, but he chose to work on that day. Usually, that wouldn't be a problem with me but he had a habit of missing my birthdays, holidays, and even our anniversary. My daddy, being a good father, decided to take me out for a good time.
We had a blast on my 21st birthday. My daddy was always picking up my boyfriend's slack. On that night, I went to bed, but I never went to sleep. I stayed up all night thinking about my daddy. I was comparing my daddy to all of the boys that I used to like and dated. All of sudden, I started to look at my daddy in a new light. I realized that I was developing strong emotional and sexual feelings for my daddy. The next morning when I saw my daddy, he suddenly seemed very handsome to me. It even felt different when he spoke to me.
Eventually, I broke up with my boyfriend and decided to seduce my daddy. First, I made sure that I had something sexy on. Nothing too obvious, so I just put on a short blue jeans and a white tank top. I slowly told my daddy how I really felt about him. Of course, he wasn't having it, so I made a deal with him. I told him that if I kiss him and he doesn't like it, then I would drop the topic. I guess we all can say we know what happened on that day after we kissed.
Father: I know people will be surprised to hear it, but it was my daughter who made the first move on me. She planned everything out on that day. I could see both of her nipples sticking out through her tank top. I was already tempted from the beginning of the conversation. I may be her father, but I'm still a man. I knew how attractive she was. I knew she had a nice body, but as a her father, I tried not to look at her that way. I used to feel bad about it, but now I don't. I learned to accept us for who we are.
FME: Can you describe your feelings during that event?
Daughter: Of course, it felt weird and confusing at first, but when we started making love, it didn't feel weird or taboo at all. It felt amazing and magical. It felt like we were waiting for this special moment to happen so we could show how much we truly love one another.
Father: When my daughter kissed me, my whole body and mind just quickly reacted to it. I was lost in the moment. Our hands just started exploring each other's bodies. When my daughter looked straight into my eyes and said, "please make love to me, daddy" and I saw how much she needed me, I decided to give my daughter a different kind of love and affection that she was craving from her father. I started making love to her and it was so intense, so passionate, and so powerful.
FME: Before this had you ever thought this would be possible or enjoyable; did you have any opinion one way or the other about close relatives or family members being together? Do you, or have you had feelings like this for any other close family members whether they are genetic relatives or not? Any prior experience with family?
Daughter: Before any of this ever happened, I've never thought about incest, read about it, or watched it. I've never been attracted to any of my family members or even thought of them that way. My daddy is the only man on earth I'm that in love with.
Father: Honestly, I've never experienced this kind of love with anybody including my own family. What makes us so compatible with each other is the fact that we're father and daughter. I guess the proper term is "double-love."
FME: How do you describe the lovemaking now? Taboo? Natural? Especially erotic? Some people say familial eroticism is inherently kinky, but I have found that for many it doesn't feel kinky. What about for you?
Daughter: It's more just about the sex. It's about the love and affection that we share during the sex. I will admit, the bond that we have together as father and daughter does makes the sex more pleasurable. This is a person that I've loved and admired all of my life, so to be able to connect with my daddy on a sexual level feels absolutely amazing. We never want to forget who we are to one another. When we make love, I don't pretend he's not my daddy and he don't pretend I'm not his daughter. We are very affectionate towards one another. I think the best place to be is in my daddy's arms because I just love feeling so close to him.
Father: I don't know where to begin to describe how I feel; amazing, fantastic, passionate, and unbelievable. It's absolutely the best sex ever, but I don't mean that as a kinky way. It's the best sex ever because of how deep the connection is. The bond I have with my daughter when we make love is extremely close and powerful. It's nothing like I've ever felt before.
FME: Is there a typical routine as far as sex goes in terms of how it starts and progresses? Is it scheduled, who initiates, does it usually involve spending the night, etc.?
Daughter: Well, like most men, my daddy likes big breasts and I guess my breasts are a decent size. I think it's so cute when I catch him staring at my breasts when we have a conversation because it shows that even though he's my daddy, he's also still a man. Sometimes when I'm at home and my daddy is at work, I'll send him sexy pictures of myself so he will be excited to come home. We like to role play a lot, so often I will dress up as a nurse, cheerleader, cop and so on. He has some kinky fantasies and I enjoy being a part of them. He really likes it when I call him "daddy." It's wasn't something that we both came up with. I've been calling him "daddy" my whole life cause I know him best as my daddy so it was just natural for me to call him "daddy" even when we have sex.
I used to know a stripper and she taught me how to strip. I took what she taught me and I surprised my daddy on his last birthday by stripping for him, and he absolutely loved it. We like to keep our romance spicy and adventurous. I just look at sex as another way of spending quality time with my daddy.
Father: Sometimes my daughter would walked around the house wearing nothing but only my white T-shirt. She always knows how to grab my attention. I still remember the first time I saw my daughter in a red lingerie. I felt like I was the luckiest man in the world and she gives the best [oral sex] ever! I don't mean to sound perverted, but it's true. My daughter and I have done some kinky stuff together but at the end of the day, the love is deeper than sex.
FME: Describe your relationship now. Do you see each other as family or lovers, or are those two roles inseparable at this point?
Daughter: We've been together for three and a half years but we've loved each other for 24 years, since I was born. We see each other as family and lovers. Our relationship is a mixture of two different kinds of love, but yet, still maintaining the same strong feelings for one another and they blend quite well together. It's like I'm spending time with my best friend, my lover, and my daddy all at one time. I couldn't ask for something better than this.
Father: That's a great question. Who are we to each other? Well, we're everything to each other. We don't separate the bond, but instead, we merged the two loves into one unity, which is my daughter and I.
FME: Does anyone in your life know the full, true nature of your relationship? What kind of steps, if any, have you had to take to keep your privacy?
Daughter: We've never told any one. It's just way too risky, but I wish we could.
Father: Nobody knows. We moved away from our family and friends so we wouldn't have to worry about getting caught. Nobody even knows that we live together except for strangers. The people in our town think we're just a couple. Sometimes, men around my age and older men tell me how lucky I am to have a young, good-looking girlfriend. I just smile and laugh.
FME: Having to hide the full nature of your relationship from some people can be a disadvantage. Can you describe how that has been? Are there any other disadvantages? Conversely, do you think consanguineous relationships have some advantages and some things better than unrelated lovers? Especially father/daughter?
Daughter: Sometimes it bothers me that I can't tell my family and friends because I know they won't understand. I wish I can share my happiness with the world, but not everybody will share the same happiness with us. I think a father/daughter consanguineous relationship has more advantages than disadvantages. I have the best possible relationship with my daddy. I know that no men can give me what my daddy has to give me and that is a sense of family love. My daddy is the only man that I want to spend the rest of my life with, and no matter what people say, we belong together.
Father: I know it bothers my daughter more knowing that we have to keep our love a secret, but me, personally, I'm OK if nobody knows. I don't need anybody's approval or validation. I don't tell the next person how to love someone so they shouldn't tell me how to love someone. It took me a while, but I know I'm a good father because I've never seen my daughter so happy. It amazed me how strongly we love one another.
FME: What do you want to say to people who disapprove of your relationship, or disapprove of anyone having this kind of relationship? What's your reply to those who would say that this is one of you preying on the other, and that you can’t truly consent? That Daddy must have groomed and brainwashed Daughter?
Daughter: I say, what we do with our relationship is up to us. If who we are is not normal then I don't want to be normal because this is so much better than normal. I just want to let everybody know that he never once preyed on me or molested me. He has never even hit me before in my whole life. I'm the one that pushed him to have sex with me, and not the other way around. I'm not some child. I'm 24 and I was 21 years old when I made the decision to seduce him. I can make my own choices and I know what I want. It's not like I've never been in any other relationships before, because I have, and most of them were bad experiences. These men didn't love me or care for me that way my daddy does, and that's how I know he is the one for me.
FME: Do you have any children together, and if so, how are they?
Daughter: I'm actually pregnant with twins. So far, they haven't detected anything wrong with the babies. It took me a whole year to convince my daddy to give me a baby, and I plan to have more babies in the future. I just hope that this time it won't take me another year to convince him. I think the myths about incest babies are full of s---. There are a lot of couples out there that aren't even related and their babies have problems. The whole myth is just meant to strike fear.
FME: If you could get legally married, and that included protections against discrimination, harassment, etc., would you? Or is this a different kind of relationship than that?
Daughter: Honestly, we try not stress too much about getting married. I mean, I already have his last name, but if we could legally get married, yes, of course.
Father: I'm more worried about if we get married, figuring out who's going to give my daughter away to me? Sorry for the humor again, but the answer is yes.
FME: What advice do you have for someone who may be experiencing these feelings for a relative or family member, especially a father or daughter?
Daughter: It's very risky because the other person may not feel the same way, but my advice for daughters is to be very careful when you seduce your father. First of all, how close are you two as father and daughter? You can try a little bit of flirting, but nothing too strong or too direct to try to see if he'll flirt back. You can try to dress in a way that covers a little bit less, like show some legs or cleavage just to see if he checks you out. Get creative with your ideas. You have to find ways that will make him be attracted to you but without being obvious or too desperate. The main thing is to get your daddy to see you as a woman; a desired woman, to be exact. Remember, even though he is your father, he is still a man. It could be the best thing that ever happens or the worst thing that ever happens.
Father: My advice for fathers is not to do anything, because it's more risky for a father than it is for a daughter. A daughter trusts her father more than a father trusts his daughter. It's the father's job to protect his daughter, so if you take that risk and she doesn't feel the same way, then she will feel totally betrayed and it will be almost impossible to fix it. It's the reason why I never made the first move, but I'm very glad my daughter did.
FME: Any plans for the future?
Daughter: To have more babies with my daddy.
Father: I guess my daughter wants more babies. They did say being a father wouldn't be easy.
FME: Anything else to add?
Daughter: To all the people who're in a consanguineous relationship, learn to accept the full nature of your relationship. Never deny who you are to one another. You are not wrong, weird, or perverted. Don't feel ashamed or embarrassed. Be proud of your relationship. Be proud to be a couple. Be proud to be in love with one another. Both of you deserve to be happy together.
Clearly, these lovers are consenting adults who aren't hurting anyone and yet they had to move and have to stay somewhat closeted and can't even exercise their basic human right to marry. They are happy and in love, yet they are denied that fundamental right to marry.
Why should they be denied their rights? There’s no good reason.We need to recognize that all adults should be free to be with any and all consenting adults as they mutually consent, and part of doing that is adopting relationship rights for all, including full marriage equality sooner rather than later. People are being hurt because of a denial of their basic human rights to love each other freely.
You can read other interviews I have done here. As you'll see, there are people from all walks of life who are in consanguinamorous relationships.
If you are in a relationship like this and are looking for help or others you can talk with, read this.
If you want to be interviewed about your "forbidden" relationship, connect with me by checking under the "Get Connected" tab there at the top of the page or emailing me at fullmarriageequality at yahoo dot com.
If you are concerned about pregnancies between close relatives, read this. If you know someone who is in a relationship like this, please read this.
Thank you to the Anonymous Father and Daughter for doing this interview! We wish you well in your intergenerational consanguinamorous relationship, and in your pregnancy and parenthood.