Saturday, December 10, 2016

A Bisexual Woman Denied Her Rights

This blog has featured scores of exclusive interviews with lovers are denied the freedom to be open about their love and are, by law, denied the freedom to marry and have that marriage treated equally under the law.

The woman interviewed below is clearly able to consent to her relationship. She and her lovers should be free to decide whether or not to legally marry, yet they could be harassed and persecuted if they were open about their love. They are consenting adults who aren't hurting anyone; why should they be denied their rights? If they were to move to another country, including most of the US, her lovers could be criminally prosecuted for their love.

Read the interview below and see for yourself what she has to say. You may think this relationship is interesting, or it might make you uncomfortable, or you might find it incredibly sexy, but whatever your reaction, should these lovers be denied equal access to marriage or any other rights?


FULL MARRIAGE EQUALITY: Tell us about yourself.

Nadia: I'm living in Minsk, Belarus, and I'm working as a waitress at the moment. The twins are living in a village not far away, and they are both in university.

FME: How would you describe your sexual orientation and your relationship orientation?

I'm bisexual and polyamorous. One of my partners is pansexual and polyamorous, and the other is demisexual and polyamorous.

FME: You currently live with...?

I am living with a few friends. The guys live with their parents.

FME: You are in a sexual/romantic relationship with identical twin brothers? They are involved with each  other? What are your ages?

I'm 19. They are 20. Yes, we're all in a sexual and romantic relationship with each other.

FME: What was your childhood like? What was family life like? Were alternative lifestyles/sex discussed in your family, and if so, how? Can you describe your sexual awakening?

My family are pretty conservative, and my childhood was fairly normal. It wasn't until about three years ago when I moved away to go to college that I became more aware, and finally discovered my identity.

FME: How did sexual affection become a part of your relationship?

I met and started dating one of them first, and became friends with his brother, then after about a year, he told me he and his brother were involved, and that his brother had a crush on me. It developed from there.

They had been romantically and sexually involved since their early to mid teens, and I was their first other girl or boyfriend.

FME: Can you describe your feelings during that process?

It was quite confusing at first, but we talked it out and it came as quite a relief, because I had been ashamed and worried about admitting I was attracted to both twins.

FME: Before this had you ever thought this would be possible or enjoyable; did you have any opinion one way or the other about close relatives or family members being together?

I'd never thought either way about it at all before.

FME: How do you describe the sex/lovemaking now? Taboo? Natural?

It's perfectly natural and normal to me.

FME: Is there a typical routine as far as sex goes in terms of how it starts and progresses?

Not really. It varies.

FME: Is the sex always or usually one-on-one or is it often or always all-with-all? Or 2-on-1?

It depends who's "in the mood." but most often, it is all three of us.

FME: How does it feel to watch twins love each other this way?

I like it! It makes them happy, and knowing they love each other is great!

FME: Describe your relationship now. Have you had other lovers since your relationship with each other became sexual, and have any of them known about your relationship with each other? Do they see each other as family, lovers, or both?

We've been together about one and a half years now, but we live separately, and don't swing. We're happy with just the three of us, unless someone really special comes along. They see each other as both family and lovers.

FME: Does anyone in your life know the full, true nature of your relationship? What kind of steps, if any, have you had to take to keep your privacy?

The twins' parents know, and they took it really calmly. No one else knows the full truth, but some people know we're in a three-partner relationship.

FME: Having to hide the full nature of your relationship from some people can be a disadvantage. Can you describe how that has been? Are there any other disadvantages? Conversely, do you think consanguineous relationships have some advantages and some things better than unrelated lovers? How about polyamorous relationships? Is there an advantage to being with brothers? Twins?

It's not been easy, especially since the twins are very similar in appearance, so we can't act like lovers in public, but that is also an advantage, because people assume I'm either a sister or one of their girlfriends, and we can all hold hands without being harassed for being polyamorous.

FME: What do you want to say to people who disapprove of your relationship, or disapprove of anyone having this kind of relationship?

We don't tell people about us, so we haven't encountered this, but to anyone who feels this way: Get over it. You're not the love police. How would you like someone judging your relationship every five minutes, to the point that you never talked about it at all?

FME: Aside from the law, which I think is ridiculous, can you think of anything that would make relationships like this inherently wrong?

No. We're doing nothing wrong.

FME: If you could get legally married, and that included protections against discrimination, harassment, etc., would you? Or is this a different kind of relationship than that?

I think we would marry. I guess we'd have to talk it over; it would be a huge jump.

FME: What advice do you have for someone who may be experiencing these feelings for twins? Any advice for someone considering polyamory in general?

Unfortunately, advice is not my strong point, but just think about it like a normal relationship I guess.

FME: What advice do you have for family members and friends who think or know that relatives they know are having these feelings for each other? What advice do you have for family members and friends who don't quite support or understand polyamory?

Again, treat it like a normal relationship. In the case of polyamorous relationships, there's just more people. It's not that strange. Don't tell me you've never had a crush on more than one person at once.

FME: Any plans for the future?

Just to keep fighting until we have the same rights as others in relationships.

FME: Would you ever want to deal with other journalists or media producers?

I'll consider any interview on offer! I can be reached at onethirdofhappiness [at] gmail [dot] com


Well, there you have it. She's living out a very common fantasy of being with "twincest" twins. Although that is a common fantasy, very few people stop to consider that there are laws and other forms of discrimination against such relationships in many places in the world.

Why should they have to be closeted about their relationship?

They are consenting adults who aren't hurting anyone and yet they feel the need to stay closeted and can't even exercise their basic human right to marry. They are happy and in love, yet they are denied that fundamental right to marry.

Why should they be denied their rights? There’s no good reason.We need to recognize that all adults should be free to be with any and all consenting adults as they mutually consent, and part of doing that is adopting relationship rights for all, including full marriage equality sooner rather than later. People are being hurt because of a denial of their basic human rights to love each other freely.

You can read other interviews I have done here. As you'll see, there are people from all walks of life who are in polyamorous and consanguinamorous relationships.

If you are in a relationship like this and are looking for help or others you can talk with, read this.
If you want to be interviewed about your "forbidden" relationship, connect with me by checking under the "Get Connected" tab there at the top of the page or emailing me at fullmarriageequality at yahoo dot com.

If you know someone who is in a relationship like this, please read this.

Thank you to Nadia for doing this interview! We wish you well in your polyamorous consanguinamorous relationship.
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