A Double Love With Rights Denied

This blog has featured scores of exclusive interviews with lovers are denied the freedom to be open about their love and are, by law, denied the freedom to marry and have that marriage treated equally under the law.

The man and woman interviewed below are clearly able to consent to their relationship. They should be free to decide whether or not to legally marry. Yet they could be criminally prosecuted and face other forms of discrimination if the wrong people found out about their relationship. They are consenting adults who aren't hurting anyone; why should they be denied their rights?

Read the interview below and see for yourself what they have to say. You may think this relationship is interesting, or it might make you uncomfortable, or you might find it incredibly sexy, or even think it fits certain prejudicial stereotypes, but whatever your reaction, should these lovers be denied equal access to marriage or any other rights?

***WARNING: THE DISCUSSION IN THE INTERVIEW IS BRIEFLY SEXUALLY EXPLICIT***


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FULL MARRIAGE EQUALITY: Tell us about yourselves.

James: I'm 19 and I live in a trailer with my mom in West Virginia.

Katherine: I'm 35.


FME: Does anyone else live with you?

James: We currently live alone together.

Katherine: That's right, just the two of us.


FME: She is your biological mother, and she raised you?

James: Yes she's my biological mother and she raised me.

Katherine: Yes, I raised him on my own.


FME: What is your sexual orientation and your relationship orientation?

James: Heterosexual and monogamous.

Katherine: Very much the same.


FME: Describe your childhood and sexual awakening, James.

James: My childhood was OK. I was raised by my mom, and although we weren't well off, I never wanted for anything. My sexual awakening started during puberty like with most teens. But here is where I began to develop difficulties in the social sphere. I've been bullied and teased a lot, and it got worse in high school.

Part of the bullying was my awkwardness around girls, partly because of our poverty as we live in a trailer.

And so things got really bad. To the point where I contemplated suicide. I know most people say they haven't thought about it, but I think most people, the idea crosses their minds at least once in their lives.

My depression got really bad. I couldn't get out of bed, it was making me physically ill. I was irritable and joyless, ready to break down and cry at any moment.

She tried to cheer me up in various ways, buying me stuff and getting tickets to sports games. It didn't work, and I felt so horrible seeing her look of anguish, because I knew she was trying her best and then some.

Most of my childhood friends either moved away or left me once we got into middle school, to hang out with the cool kids. I tried to ingratiate myself in their circle but it somehow only made matters worse. It was almost like a conspiracy.

Day in and day out the taunting and bullying was relentless. And forget the faculty doing something; they really do just ignore it. I closed my previous Facebook account because I sent friend invites to some of the people in school and nobody responded.


FME: How did things get better for you?

James: One night she heard me sobbing in my room and came in. It was senior prom that night. I didn't go of course. I didn't even try to ask any girl.

She tried to comfort me and gave me a long hug. And then kissed me on the forehead, gave me a long look, and then kissed me on the mouth.

I was stunned.

It was a real kiss, my first one ever. We looked at each other for a few moments and she repeated it again and again.

Without saying anything we just started undressing and were under the covers. That's how it started.

Katherine: That is a very accurate description of how things started. I don't know what came over me. Call it motherly instinct, but all I wanted at that moment was to give him happiness that he had never experienced.

It was spontaneous. He was so sad, and when I heard and saw him sobbing I couldn't bear it. I was at my wits end, my baby was so miserable, I just had to do something. So I decided to give him the kind of pleasure and love he had been deprived of.


FME: Can you describe your feelings during that?

James: Primarily "I can't believe this is happening." And then lots of pleasure, amazement that she knew how to make me feel blissful. Also. lots of visual memory. Like "Wow, my mom is giving me [oral sex], wow I just popped in her mouth. Wow this is it, she's about to slide it in."

After she officially took my virginity, I was more calm and we just got to kissing a lot as she dictated the pace of [intercourse].

Lots of "I love you's" from me during kissing and her reciprocating. It was my first time for everything, even kissing and making out. I couldn't stop saying "I love you" to her every five seconds. Then I climaxed, and it felt like heaven. And another "I love you."

Best Prom Night ever.  It was so free and relaxed. No fears of messing up or not looking cool.

Every thrust of mine was met with a smile and a kiss. And an "I love you." We had a little break and I just wanted more. That pretty much sums up the first night together.

Katherine: That is quite the visual memory on him.  Yes it was very sensual and I did my best to give him pure love. I think it worked. He was extremely nervous and I had to calm him down a bit. But it was a magical evening. Nothing but love and amazing bonding.


FME: Was sex or alternative lifestyles something that you discussed while growing up?

James: Not at home, but she did let me keep Playboy magazines around.

Katherine: Yes, I figured it was normal for a teenager to want such magazines.


FME: Is this relationship open or closed?

James: We are in a closed relationship together.
    
Katherine: Yes that's correct.


FME: How would you describe of define the relationship now? Is it a marriage?

James: Mom-son love. I don't know how else to describe it.

Katherine: Yes it's a very traditional couple relationship I suppose.

James: We are not married, but I would love to marry her. We already act as if we are married.

Katherine: He is so sweet! Of course we can't be legally married, but if he wants to think of me as his wife behind closed doors, then he is free to do so.


FME: Had you ever thought a relationship like this was possible before?

James: No, I never thought about such relationships before.

Katherine: Me neither.


FME: Can your describe how you protect your privacy and how that is?

James: We keep it to ourselves and no one knows. We take the usual precautions, such as no public displays of affection outside of the mother-son role.

Katherine: Yes that's right, we do keep mostly to ourselves and we haven't told anyone nor do we plan to do so. Our trailer home makes life more on the secluded side so that helps.


FME: Isn't that a disadvantage?

James: Yes, having to hide our relationship can seem like a disadvantage, but in reality I'm a private person who's not keen on flaunting my relationship, even if I could in a very public manner.

Katherine: I would have to agree, but maybe once in a while I'd like not to look over my shoulder regarding something as sweet as love.


FME: What are the advantages?

James: I'd say it is an advantage being with someone you know so well, who has nothing but your best interests at heart and who has endless love and patience for you. Plus, the taboo factor makes it very kinky.

Katherine: Yes! All of the above. He's so sweet.


FME: What do you say to people who disapprove or sat that you couldn't possibly consent to this, and that one of you is preying on the other?

James: I wouldn't say anything to such people, because they don't know me or my mom. And that's a good thing on so many levels.

Katherine: Preying on one another? That is absurd. We have unconditional love for one another. Nurturing and motherly love for my son is not "preying." Giving myself to him is not preying; it's making him happy.


FME: So you would marry if you could, and if such a marriage would be protected?

James: Of course I would marry her if it was legal.

Katherine: And I would say yes if he asked.


FME: Do you have any advice for others who might be considering or facing a similar situation?

James: I really wouldn't know what advice to give someone in the same situation, since each case is unique. I don't want to give the wrong advice and get people in trouble. You can't replicate love that is between two unique individuals. Everyone has their own story.

Katherine: I would have to agree, it's up to the couple in the relationship. If both parties want it, then I would say make your decision weighing all the options and potential repercussions.


FME: Any plans for the future?

James: I don't know, live a good life with the love of my life.

Katherine: He can't help it but be sweet! Yes our plans are to just enjoy life and enjoy each other.


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There you have it. They are consenting adults who aren't hurting anyone and yet they have to keep their relationship a secret or face discrimination and denial of their rights simply for loving each other. They are happy and in love, yet they are denied their fundamental right to marry.

Why should they be denied their rights? There’s no good reason.We need to recognize that all adults should be free to be with any and all consenting adults as they mutually consent, and part of doing that is adopting relationship rights for all, including full marriage equality sooner rather than later. People are being hurt because of a denial of their basic human rights to love each other freely.

You can read other interviews I have done here. As you'll see, there are people from all walks of life who are in consanguinamorous relationships.

If you are in a relationship like this and are looking for help or others you can talk with, read this.
If you want to be interviewed about your "forbidden" relationship, connect with me by checking under the "Get Connected" tab there at the top of the page or emailing me at fullmarriageequality at yahoo dot com.

If you know someone who is in a relationship like this, please read this.

Thank you to Katherine and Jamaes for doing this interview! We wish you well in your consanguinamorous intergenerational relationship.