Head opens the piece talking about the problem of dealing with therapists who are sex-negative, or ignorant of diversities in desires and expressions, negative reactions to kink and polyamory.
More conservative psychologists or psychiatrists might simply refuse to treat populations exhibiting sexual problems or seeking help with communicating kinky desires to a partner.
Therapists might diagnose clients with disorders of sex or gender, turning perfectly healthy alternative sexualities into a problem to be treated.Not good. So it is helpful to have people like Jay Blevins...
Enter Jay Blevins, a licensed marriage and family therapist working in Madison to treat clients using sex-positive, kink and poly-friendly methods. Blevins has experience with adolescents, their families, LGBTQ+ folks, couples and individuals dealing with everything from depression to discord. His passion about the field stems from his fascination with how people operate and act in relationships, particularly related to “alternative sexuality and alternative relationship structures,” he said.Great!
“I love seeing culture changing [and] norms being challenged,” Blevins said.
Practicing therapy in a sex-positive way is all about undoing the damage executed by our sex-negative culture, which insists that sexuality is shameful and something to be hidden rather than discussed. Without the freedom to truly explore one’s sexuality, people struggle to express themselves in healthy ways.
“Sex is healthy,” Blevins said. “You may do things that aren’t necessarily in your best interest, and we can look at that, but that doesn’t mean the activity itself is wrong. It’s just like eating. We can eat well, we can eat not well. It doesn’t mean eating itself is evil.”That's a good way to look at it.The article also notes that he also treats asexuals.
Partners should learn about kinky interests by reading up on the subject. Consider forming a kinky book club and learn about BDSM from the wealth of options available, or investigate kinky blogs online. Blevins also recommends partners investigate FetLife, an online community of people interested or engaging in kink, fetishes and other activities. Reading and posting on these forums allows kinksters to form a supportive community while learning about proper technique. In addition, Madison offers gatherings of kinky folks in events called “munches,” which can be easily found online.Technology can be a wonderful thing.
As partners begin to incorporate kink and continue to perform research, communication is essential. Partners can even communicate desires using apps like PlsPlsMe, which allows partners to pick turn-ons and only reveals interests that both people have in common.
If you're a psychologist, therapist, or counselor experienced with, and friendly do, gender, sexuality, and relationship diversities, we'd like you to contact us. Write us at fullmarriageequality at yahoo dot com.