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Monday, December 15, 2014

A Sister Takes Questions on Reddit

Visibility is important. Even anonymous "visibility" is important, especially if it involves telling your story and answering questions in an effective way. Reddit is a place where that can happen. Here's an example where Noveranan did an AMA (Ask Me Anything.) It is titled "I was in an incestuous relationship with my brother."
Between the ages of 15 and 20 I was in a sexual relationship with my brother. You may ask me anything.

  • Note that English is my third language. I'll try to keep my responses at least readable, though.
Edit: For a long time I was on the fence on whether I should post this or not. Now I'm really glad I did. The vast majority of you have been very respectful, and it's been great to get a lot of this stuff off my chest. I've talked more about it here over the last 24 hours than I probably have for the last nine years.
Many thanks to all who have participated, and if you have any other questions please don't hesitate to ask.
That was good to read.

LLment has a simple question...


Why?
There was a good answer...
Well, we just felt right for each other, we both loved one another and, frankly, it felt good.
Some more questions and answers...
So do your parents know?
I'm not sure. I think they may have suspected something was going on at the time. The issue has never been raised.
Do you get jealous when the other is in a relation ship?
Not at all. My brother is married to a wonderful woman now.
Did you use condoms?
Mostly, yes.
And more...
What was the age difference?
My brother is two and a half years older than me.
Why did you stop?
We found other relationships, and sort of realized that what we were doing wouldn't last anyway.
Does anybody know?
Very few people know. It's hard to find anyone to trust not to spread such information.
How does this affect romantic relationships?
I've had very few sexual or romantic relationships so far. My brother has had several and is now happily married.
What do you think of what happened now? Do you feel guilt, nostalgia, nothing?
I mostly feel guilt because people say I should, if you get what I mean. I thought it was pretty great at the time, but it's hard to talk about without people smashing the stigma in your face. Overall I don't think it's that big of a deal, really. It was great at the time, now a days I don't think much about it.
Marsha_Brady is an ally....
People think because a relationship is between family, then it's wrong. Then they try to tell you that you need to be angry and/or guilty because it's dirty and wrong. Guess what? It doesn't have to be that way.
My belief, if it is consensual, then what's the problem? I was molested for years as a child. Everything ever done to me was against my wishes. This is wrong. This is what people should be angry about.
If it's not screwing you up, then don't let it start now because someone said you should be screwed up from it. I had horrible things done to me, I'm not screwed up. I'm not sure why. It wasn't forgiveness. I used to be angry, but I let it go. I thought if I held onto that, then he wins because I'm still being tortured. So, one day I sat down and wrote out every single horrifying act I was put through, copied it and kept one while I sent the other to him. I burned the other copy eventually.
Anyway, the thing I'm trying to get at is to not let the opinions of others dictate to you how you should feel or be feeling. It's your life, you live it how you want. Maybe if you can inject this way of thinking into your lifestyle, things will turn around and you'll have a whole new world in front of you.
If, by chance, you are experiencing effects of this relationship, please seek help by talking to a therapist or counselor of some type. Even support groups help. Good luck. And if it's of any consolation, I don't think any less of you.
The question and answers are continued. Click through to read it all.

This brother and sister had a long, slow-building youthful journey into sexual exploration with each other. It doesn't seem to have hurt either one of them. She looks back on the experience positively, with the only negatives being the prejudice of others. As such, the myths continued to be exposed as such.

If you have had such experiences and you want a welcome place to talk, I know of such places.
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2 comments:

  1. Hi! Thanks for showcasing this on your blog.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Noveranan,
    is this real? I can't believe this really happened. I also have mixed feelings about this. I have a sister and the thought of having sex with her is really disgusting. But at the same time I find your story and some stories here very arousing in a way, Thanks for sharing. I don't like reddit thats why I'm writing here. All the best,

    ReplyDelete

To prevent spam, comments will have to be approved, so your comment may not appear for several hours. Feedback is welcome, including disagreement. I only delete/reject/mark as spam: spam, vulgar or hateful attacks, repeated spouting of bigotry from the same person that does not add to the discussion, and the like. I will not reject comments based on disagreement, but if you don't think consenting adults should be free to love each other, then I do not consent to have you repeatedly spout hate on my blog without adding anything to the discourse.

If you want to write to me privately, then either contact me on Facebook, email me at fullmarriageequality at yahoo dot com, or tell me in your comment that you do NOT want it published. Otherwise, anything you write here is fair game to be used in a subsequent entry. If you want to be anonymous, that is fine.

IT IS OK TO TALK ABOUT SEX IN YOUR COMMENTS, BUT PLEASE CHOOSE YOUR WORDS CAREFULLY AS I WANT THIS BLOG TO BE AS "SAFE FOR WORK" AS POSSIBLE.