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Saturday, December 6, 2014

Thin Walls Reveal Consanguinamory

Supporters of full marriage equality can help the cause by speaking up for relationship rights for all when the opportunities present themselves. One place where such opportunities can happen is in discussion forums. For example, I found this thread in the forum at womens-health.com. LisaW1991 got things kicked off by writing...
I live in an appartment next door to nice guy who's going to college. He has lived there for almost a year. Friendly guy who is single. He doesn't appear to have steady GF, but he does bring home girls occasionally and has sex. The walls are pretty thin, and I can hear them having sex. One girl that has been there several times has been his sister, and everytime she stays the weekend, its clear they have sex several times. I've met her and talked to her down at the pool, and they seem like an affectionate couple when are out in public, but he always introduces her to everyone as his sister.

Its really none of my business so I have not said anything to him about hearing them have sex through the wall, but sometimes I wonder if I should just so he knows. I've not said anything because hearing others have sex does not bother me, and I don't want make him feel he needs to hold back.
Thankfully, she didn't express prejudice about the situation, like we have seen with like situations before. Yes, we have seen people asking about hearing their sibling neighbors make love and wondering what to do.



A subsequent comment asks if they are really blood relation or have some other connection, so the original poster added...
I don't know if they are blood related. She did come with his parents to visit once. They kinda look a like a little, but I don't know if that just me looking for anything that's similar, like they laugh the same way, and they both have green eyes. Sometimes I think they act like brother-sister, then other times it seems like they act like couple. My sister thinks they are blood related, but I think she seeing similarities that I think aren't really there or too common, like she thinks they have the same nose, but I don't agree. Besides, I have seen couples who aren't blood related that look almost like twins.

Yeah, it could be possible they are related by marriage. I really don't know much about their background. We're just neighbors, not very close friends. We've only chatted a few times in passing or when hanging out at the pool. Its kinda strange to feel like I know more about his sex life from what I hear through the walls, than I do about him as a person. And, from comes through the wall, I am surprised he doesn't have a steady GF because he is a nice guy and obviously women have a good time when they spend the night.

And then...
They even have the same last name. He just doesn't know my sister and I can hear them having sex when she spends the weekend.

We had not seen her for a while, but she spent last weekend with him, and well, here was some intense bedroom activity occurring while she was here.
CHANDLERS WISH chimed in with saying they aren't doing anyone harm. Someone else pretty much gave their approval, but only as long as they didn't make babies. (See Discredited Argument #18.)

There original poster added...
I try not to be judgemental about such choices if is a mutual choice\attraction. When I was 14 I had sexual encounter with a cousin who was 16. I was already sexual active, but he had never had sex before. One evening we were alone together and began engaging in foreplay that led to us having sex.

CHANDLERS WISH returned to add..
I think the fact that you mentioned that, about your cousin, means you are curious as to why this occurs, as in how other people think of it and want to interact in conversation with him as you probably can't talk to others about your situation.

I think it happens more than we know...

Kids are curious and attraction is attraction.

If that is what you are feeling? Then I wouldn't be shy to be assertive to discuss in general incest but how is another story ...

LisaW1991 responded...
Yes, what you say is true to some degree because my cousin and I first started had sexual contact when I was 11 and it continued, but we didn't start having sex until I was 14. I was willing to have sex sooner than that, but he was very hesitant and prefered we limit our encounters to oral sex and sleeping the night together. Even though we are cousins, he is always seemed like a brother to my sisters and I, so while technically we were kissing cousins, it was more like of a brother-sister relationship. When we did start having sex, it was pretty intense, and it does remind me of what I hear through the wall when my neighbor has sex with his sister.

One person did talk abut their own crushes within extended family (cousins, family-by-marriage) but then invoked Discredited Argument #1 against siblings.

The good news is that, at least when I last checked, the discussion was generally positive and supportive of the siblings. 10-15% of college-aged people admit in surveys to having had consensual sexual contact with a sibling, so the siblings this thread discusses are like many, many others their age. The poster's perception that the lovemaking is intense agrees with what people in such relationships say

My advice to the original poster, or anyone in that position, would be that people in consanguinamorous relationships often feel alone against the world and constrained due to the prejudices against them. Having friends who know about them and are still up for spending time with them is usually most welcome. Be a friend. Sit down with him or both of them together, and with a smile tell them they make a lovely couple. If the response is "we're siblings" come back with "that doesn't mean you can't be a couple." It will get the conversation going if you let them know that you're not going to reject them or spread nasty rumors about them or turn them into law enforcement or their parents (who may already know).
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