Oregon Still Wasting Resources Prosecuting Consenting Adults

Here's an update on lovers we last covered on this blog over two years go.

Why are the authorities in Oregon still wasting time, energy, and money prosecuting consenting adults for loving each other? This doesn't help anything. It just makes things worse, and is unconstitutional.

Coming Out Day

Even with the US Supreme Court decision bringing all states online with the limited monogamous same-gender freedom to marry, and some recent laws enacted for the protection and rights of LGBT people in the US and other countries, life can be tough for someone whose identity and orientation doesn’t fit in to a little heterosexual, monogamous, "traditional"-gender-role box or whose relationship doesn’t meet the local sex police’s approved standards. Sometimes, a person or the people in a relationship want to come out of the closet. Sometimes they need to come out. For some of these people, it is a little less difficult if they do so as part of a communal event, such as National Coming Out Day.

National Coming Out Day is today, October 11. Here’s the official website, at least for the US. There is much helpful information there, regardless of where you live.

The more people that come out, the more the others around them will realize they do know and appreciate people who are LGBT, or polyamorous, or consanguinamorous, and that such people and relationships deserve equality. So coming out helps progress.

On the other hand, it is understandable that any given person, couple, triad, or quad decides to stay in the closet for now. There’s still so much hate, so much prejudice and persecution, and even unjust laws that hinder the life and love of people who are good citizens and just want to be themselves. I support the decision of anyone who believes they need to be reserved for now for the sake of their safety and family.

The decision to come out is yours. Do you want to come out, and to whom? Your friends? Your family? Your coworkers? Your classmates? Your neighbors? Your crush? The whole world?

Also, if someone comes out to you, the decision to be an ally is yours. If your classmate, coworker, neighbor, friend, parent, child, or sibling comes to you and says they are gay, lesbian, bisexual, polysexual, pansexual, transgender, polyamorous, or in a consanguinamorous relationship, what will you do? Will you choose love and acceptance?

Even if you are heterosexual, monogamous, and nonconsanguinamorous, you may want to come out as an ally for full marriage equality. That alone can take courage, but it helps.

If you are planning to come out, or you do come out, please feel free to share your experience here by commenting.

Advice on Coming Out as Polyamorous to Your Parents

Since claimed (serial) monogamy is usually presented as the default relationship model, polyamorists sometimes have a need to come out to others, including their parents. Miri Mogilevsky has some advice at everydayfeminism.com about coming out to your parents.

So you’ve discovered that you’re polyamorous.

Maybe you’re already seeing more than one partner, or you’re hoping or planning to. Maybe you’re in a monogamous relationship that you want to open up. Maybe you’ve already told a few close friends, or your entire Facebook friends list.

If you're doing these things, your parents are probably figuring it out already, at least on some level.

1. Show Them Some 101 Resources

You don’t have to do all the work of explaining polyamory to your parents yourself. Luckily, many have already invented that particular wheel.

olyamorous educator Franklin Veaux provides a useful introduction to polyamory at his website, More Than Two. This PDF by Cherie L. Ve Ard and Franklin Veaux includes both a glossary and some common polyamory myths. The books Opening Up, More Than Two, and The Ethical Slut include lots of introductory material for those who don’t know much about polyamory and could be great gifts if you think your parents might want a more in-depth explanation.

Many cities also have local groups that have events and meetings, some of which are geared towards people who are curious or apprehensive about polyamory and hoping to learn more. If you think this might help your parents, you can try searching Meetup for a group in their area.

Go read through the rest of it if you have any interest. It is helpful. Be prepared for the standard arguments people try to make against polyamory.

The Family Business

Consanguinamory has always been depicted on our stories because it has always been a part of life. But what about when the story itself doesn't have consanguinamory, but the performers are close relatives playing love interests? Rose Moore at screenrant.com noted "15 Times Siblings Played Love Interests In Movies and TV"...

Yes, you read that correctly: real brothers and sisters have portrayed characters who want to do the nasty with each other, and several have even included full-blown make outs or steamy bedroom scenes.

The nasty? Sibling consanguinamory is often a beautiful thing.

9. Sophie and Eloise Lovell Anderson (The Bastard Executioner) Disturbing as it may be, there’s a long-accepted male fantasy that involves bedding twin sisters – either separately, or at the same time. For most, it’s something that stays firmly in the fantasy realm, or is pulled out for a sitcom punch-line. However, real-life twin sisters Sophie and Eloise Lovell Anderson brought that fantasy to life in The Bastard Executioner, where the two play twin prostitutes.

The scheming Clara and Ramona decided to use their sexy similarities to seduce a target into having a threesome with them. The scene wasn’t just implied, either, but a graphic sex sequence that includes both girls naked in bed with their conquest, and making out not just with the man, but with each other as well.

Rose Moore really, really wants to make it clear she finds this all disgusting.

7. Pepi and Ruth Hermine (Putney Swope)
This satirical black comedy about the advertising business, racism, and corporate corruption was an arthouse hit when it was released in 1969 – but it includes one particularly incestuous scene where siblings aren’t just portraying a married couple, but share a loving kiss in bed.
Putney Swope’s President of the United States was portrayed by Pepi Hermine, while his (nameless) First Lady was played by his own sister, Ruth Hermine. One of their scenes involved the two getting into bed and kissing each other with real gusto, and leaving the rest to the audience’s imagination. Director Robert Downey Sr. revealed that he didn’t realize that the two were brother and sister when he cast them, but said that when he found out “it made it twice as funny”.

Yes... funny.

3. Meret and Ben Becker (The Harmonist)

Meret and Ben Becker may not be as well known as some of the other Hollywood families on this list, but these siblings share one of the steamiest love scenes of any real-life relatives on the big screen.

The two starred opposite each other in The Harmonists, a semi-fictional film about the rise and fall of a popular vocal group in Germany in the 1930s. Ben Becker stars as Robert Biberti, one third of a love triangle completed by another Harmonist, Harry, and Meret Becker’s Erna Eggstein. Both men fall in love with Erna, and although she begins the movie in love with Harry (and the two even consummate their romance), he cannot commit to her. Robert, his confident friend, ends up wooing her instead, and the two have a secret affair, including a passionate on-screen kiss… between a real-life brother and sister.

And finally...

1. Chyler Leigh and Christopher Khayman Lee (Kickboxing Academy)

Sorry folks, but we have indeed shared the worst for last. Forgive us.

Chyler Leigh may have made a name for herself in great shows like Grey’s Anatomy and Supergirl, but she’s also been in a couple pretty awful things as well – and topping the list of bad movies has to be Kickboxing Academy. This ‘90s teen rip-off of The Karate Kid stars Leigh as Cindy, a student at (you guessed it) Kickboxing Academy, a school preparing to take on their rival martial arts academy.

Also appearing in the film is her real-life brother, Christopher Khayman Lee, who plays ex-kickboxer Danny… and his own sister’s romantic lead. (You might recognize him from his days as the Red Ranger Andros from Power Rangers In Space.) Throughout the film, the two have several make-out sessions, at a time when she was only fifteen, and he was nineteen – and in a role that clearly should have been given to someone less… related… to the star.

Notice that these are all somewhat mainstream, not professional or amateur porn or erotica. There's plenty of such videos which claim to feature actual close relatives as performers. In these mainstream productions, unlike with porn, the performers are usually concentrating so much on their lines and movements, surrounded by crew and equipment, to the point it doesn't feel sexy to them at all. But I do wonder how many of them practiced in private to make it look as convincing as possible on the screen?

This also reminds me that just about everyone who has ever had nude/love scenes in movies or on stage or appeared nude in magazines (remember those?) or on websites has had living close relatives, most of whom have no doubt seen at least some of the imagery. I wonder how many consanguinamorous relationships have their generation in that?

None of this is to be confused with unrelated actors playing siblings while the actors had things for each other. That has been more common than people might think, and always has been. For a couple of old examples, there are scenes in the original Beverly Hills, 90210 in which Shannen Doherty can barely hide her lust for Jason Priestly, but in "Ferris Bueller's Day Off," Mathew Broderick and Jennifer Grey do a much better job of avoiding giving off those vibes.

Some comments were left after the article...

Admiral Kirk

Dear Screenrant,
Despite the most popular show on television showcasing incest, it is NOT part of acceptable culture. Please refrain from writing articles (false and baseless ones at that) about this offensive subject.

Just because pop culture has brought it to the fore front of conversation does not mean it needs to be talked about. Please, please stop it. UGH.

I wonder if that person realizes that there are no doubt people in his life who are consanguinamorous? People his admires and respects?

Frankly, is way past time for Hollywood to seriously challenge the oppression of consanguinamorous people. There are actors, writers, directors, producers, and everyone else involved in making movies and television shows who have experience with consanguinamory, and it would be great if they would speak up and put their experiences into some sensitive productions.

Why Polyamory Will Gain Acceptance Faster

It’s not going to take as long for polyamorists to get our freedoms, including the freedom to marry, as it is taking (monogamist) gays and lesbians.

First, I need to have a bit of clarification here. Polyamory has always been around with some public awareness, whatever forms it has taken or whichever labels have been applied, especially if we go with the broad term ethical nonmonogamy instead.

What I mean is that in the US, as well as many other countries, there was a sustained period of trying to force everyone, or at least everyone but the elite, into heterosexual, gender-roled, married monogamy with spouses that were “acceptable” by class, race, religion, etc. Those deemed not suitable for marriage were often kept out of public life in general. For example, people with certain disabilities were expected to stay home or be institutionalized so as to not cause discomfort to people who would be uneasy around them. That oppression is in the process of being dismantled. We are ending the prosecutions, the persecutions, the stigmatizing, and everything else that makes it so people go into hiding (or hiding an important part of who they are) because of who they are and who they love.

Polyamorists haven't had a "Stonewall" moment. Many people cite the Stonewall Riots of 1969 as the start of gay and lesbian people fighting back against such persecution. It has been 44 years and same-gender couples are still barred from legally marrying in most US states and LGBT people still need employment protections (ENDA). But the momentum is rapidly building, especially with the recent Supreme Court actions on DOMA and PropH8 and the death of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” for military service, and all of the public figures who are coming out in support of the same-gender freedom to marry. There have been so many advancements since 1969.

Note that earlier in the 1960s, the US adopted laws to protect racial minorities nationwide, and the Loving v. Virginia case struck down bans on the interracial freedom to marry, over a hundred years after the Emancipation Proclamation. Women got the vote nationwide in 1920 and have made much progress, but are still on the journey.

So will polyamorists have to wait a couple of generations?

Happily, the answer is no. Here why:

When To Hold Back

Jane has some considerations that might indicate it isn't a good idea to pursue a consanguinamorous relationship.

These are mostly good suggestions for caution in pursuing any relationship, although I think there are some minors close in age to each other who are mature enough. On the other hand, my general advice to minors and very young adults is not to commit to exclusive relationships because most of them need more time to figure out who they are, what they have to offer, and what they need.

Here's what I've written about deciding whether or not to pursue.

Women with Bisexual Male Partners

Miki Perkins at theage.com.au has an article on women in relationships with bisexual men. The article also addresses polyamory and notes that bisexual people can be in monogamous relationships (one such relationship is cited as an example.)

The lives of women in relationships with bisexual men are the focus of new research from Deakin University, published in a book: Women in Relationships with Bisexual Men: Bi Men By Women.

The 80 women interviewed were, or had been, in relationships with bisexual men. Some were monogamous, some were "open" or polyamorous, and there was a mix of marital and de-facto relationships.

It's important to remember that "polyamorous" and "open" are not the same. A couple can have an open relationship and not consider themselves polyamorous. A polyamorous "V" or triangle or quad can be completely closed, meaning none of the individuals will have romantic or sexual relationships with anyone outside of the polycule.

Jane Accepting Submissions

Jane Doe is now accepting and featuring submissions of fiction, nonfiction, and fanfiction.

Go check it out!

Jane Interviews Kelly

Our dear friend Jane has interviewed a woman named Kelly, who has quite the relationship with the people she loves most.



Read it here.

Attention Graphic Artists Who Support Full Marriage Equality

It has been a while, so I am bumping up this call for contributions. Amateur or professional, if you're a graphic artist who supports the cause of this blog, would you be willing to make some clip art (illustrations, diagrams, symbols, etc.) for use here on this blog?

This is here to the right is something I did myself to be the logo of this blog. I'm not much of a graphic artist.

The primary use for the illustrations would be to go along with the various topics I blog about, such as with the clip art I've been using in some postings. The problem with clip art is there isn't a whole lot of it out there that communicates the idea of, say, polyandry, Genetic Sexual Attraction, consanguinamory, etc.

The clip art...

1. Must be provided to me for free. This blog is a labor of love. I do not make money from this blog, nor do I accept monetary donations. I will give you credit and a link per your request.

2. Doesn't need to be exclusive to this blog. You can use it elsewhere or let others use it. I intend to only use it for this blog, the associated Tumblr blog, and perhaps with Facebook and maybe some discussion forums in which I participate to advance the goals of this blog.

3. Doesn't need to be a large file, and can be simple. They can be literal (realistic or stylized), symbolic, or abstract.

4. Needs to be your original creation, or if you use something from someone else, it can't violate copyrights.

5. Send me as many or few as you want, but each one should should represent one of the terms found in this blog's glossary or... same-gender relationships, male-female relationships, allies and/or solidarity, breaking up homes, brother-brother, brother-sister, sister-sister, father-adult daughter, father-adult son, mother-adult son, mother-adult daughter, coming out of the closet, consanguinamory, Genetic Sexual Attraction, inequality, monogamy, open marriage/relationship, polyamory in general, polyamorous "V", polyamorous triangle, polygyny, polyandry, and science.

6. Will advance the cause of relationship rights for all consenting adults.

7. Can be emailed to me at fullmarriageequality at yahoo dot com

Thank you!

Jane's Latest Survey

If you are strongly attracted to one or more close relatives and it's NOT a reunion situation in which you didn't have much contact with them while you were grown up, but rather they've been in your life all along or most of the time, Jane's latest survey is for you. Please take it.

The Royal We

A discussion was underway at theroyalforums.com about "Incestuous Royal Marriages." This blog has noted such things before.
 
Kataryn started off the discussion YEARS ago...

Legally Catherine of Aragon was married incestually because she as widow of one brother married the other after the first hausband's death.

That's not considered incest in most definitions.

But that's just a formality. History has shown that Royal families did not hesitate to form very close bonds between them. While a marriage of cousin and cousin happened quite often, marriages between unles and nieces are rare - but they happened, too.

One example is the marriage of Antoinette Marie of Wuerttemberg to Ernst I. of Saxe-Coburg-Gotha. Marie's mother Antoinette of Saxe-Coburg-Saalfeld was the sister of the groom.

Then there are the three uncle-niece marriages of the Spanish and Austrian Habsburgs:

- Philipp II. married Anna of Austria, the daughter of his sister Marie.

- Archduke Charles II of Austria-Innerösterreich married Maria Anna of Bavaria, daughter of his sister Anna of Austria.

- Philipp IV. married Marianna of Austria, daughter of his sister Maria Anna.

As you can see, the last three uncle-niece-marriages happened in the House of Habsburg between 1550 and 1660 in the direct line leading to Philipp IV. of Spain and his wife Marianna of Austria. Their child is the sad, sick Don Carlos of Schillerian fame...

Not 100 years later, the House of Habsburg ended in the male line. But of course the marriage of Maria Theresia of Austria to Francis Stephan of Lorraine brought new blood into the family..

As I understand it, uncle-niece marriages are allowed in some places in deference to religious traditions.