Saturday, September 29, 2018

NOT a Good Reason to Deny (Polyamorous) Love #16

“Some men will be left out as polygyny increases.” This is based on the assumption that in a culture with gender equality, polygyny would still be more plentiful than polyandry. Anti-equality people, based on this assumption, insist that this will result in unmarried men devolving into criminals.

The mistake here is assuming that the second, third, etc. wives in a polygynous marriage would have wanted one of those unmarried men rather than legally sharing the man they did marry, and that the unmarried men would in turn want to marry them. Some of those men may want to marry men, or not marry at all. Why not allow people to marry the person or people of their choice? Why try to force people to settle? Also, the system is not closed. There are billions of people in the world and more and more people are reaching the age and status of eligibility every second.

There was a study attempting to link polygny to criminal behavior in unmarried/unpartnered men based in part on nineteenth century frontier America. Things have changed a little since then. And guess what? Married men commit crime, too. Most of the men in prison have been married, were married or had at least one girlfriend at the time they were convicted.

Maybe men in the hypothetical polygynous community who don’t get married are violent people. Is it better that they have a wife to beat instead of committing crimes on the street? I don’t want to be the one who tells a woman she can’t marry the man/men or woman/women she wants; rather, she has to marry a less desirable man so that he can take his aggression out on her.

The warnings that polyamorous or polygamous freedom to marry will result in an increase of violent gangs of unmarried men committing crimes falls flat when one considers the overwhelming data revealing both that 1) Men in the US are getting married for the first time later than ever, and 2) Crime rates in the US have decreased.

There is no good reason to deny an adult, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, race or religion, the right to share love, sex, residence, and marriage (and any of those without the others) with any and all consenting adults without prosecution, bullying, or discrimination.

Feel free to share, copy and paste, and otherwise distribute. This has been adapted from this page at Full Marriage Equality:

Go to NOT a Good Reason to Deny (Polyamorous) Love #15 

Go to NOT a Good Reason to Deny (Consanguineous) Love #17
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  1. Hi Keith, does this also refer to complex marriages?

    1. It refers to marriages between any consenting adults. I see no good reason why three or more people can't marry, or why someone who is married to one person can't also marry another.

  2. Have you heard of the Onedian community? The group is Christian society that believed in complex marriage. It was a intentional living , commune society as well.

    (CAUTION: I don't know of this at as fact because this was before my time and probably this happened. I just assumed it happened because it looks and sounds like it ). It was doctrinal ideology credo guidelines. I assume that is their contract but they didn't have a actual wedding ceremony though, in their eyes they were already married.

    note that a lot of People of faith have a lot of varying views, opinions that who does the Solemnization like the couple, God, or the community. Also, the ministers or leader of faith is the witness of the ceremony. For others the witnesses are the people, judges and etc.

    Hope I got that right. (Face palm with uncertain that I got this wrong). I hope you will understand.

    Back to the Onedian society, they practiced complex marriage on ALL members of their community. All men to all women and all women to all men. Not the same sex though. Only with their own. That assumes to me that they practice polyexclusivity (for this context of this within their own group).
    Only consensual and mutual agreement was allowed.

  3. How do you feel on the Onedian society?

    1. As far as their adult relationships, support the rights of all, but the point is passed with them because you're talking about a defunct situation.

  4. Sorry I forgot the non existent above.

  5. This reminds me of China's gender inbalance. By 2020 people beleive there will be 30 million single men who can't find wives. Some believe this will cause an uprise in violence in teen and young adult man. I would hate to be born there cause finding a girlfriend would be hard!

  6. Given the sexodous: ( ), it is imperative for the survival of Western civilization family-oriented men like myself to be not just allowed, but encouraged to take multiple spouses for procreation.

  7. We hear more frequently when people complain about the 1% and their massive wealth that this is the politics of envy.
    It might be true that there is no perfect system and distributing wealth along egalitarian lines, well it failed completely as the collapse of the CCCP was supposed to prove. A happy society seems to have been the Na people of southern China, who traditionally had no marriages, no husbands, no 'known fathers' and men were free to visit any woman who agreed to a night visit, and could get past the girl's mother and brothers and guard dogs. Apparently there was no jealousy because everyone knew that they would have a turn one day and there were plenty of willing girls, whose mothers were the heads of matriarchal households, and any children born were welcome labourers in her family fields. We are starting to see a society like that now, with more and more fatherless families. Unfortunately the Na have been badly affected by STDs which are not unknown in our society also. See Clifford Geertz

  8. Something i have a problem with is choice. People dont wake up one day and just decide to be polyamorous? How many monogamous people do you hear about that just wake up one day and say that polyamory is for them. I never hear about it. The fact is that if someone wants something then they will go after it regardless of the laws or any other obstruction. Have you ever heard the saying where there is a will there is a way. So this excuse doesnt work. If polygyny or complex marriages were made legal there will be no real change to society. Men arent going to be going out in droves to practice polygyny. In fact. I think most men couldnt handle it. Most men cant even handle 1 woman. All i ever hear is people say happy wife happy life. The men today worship women on unhealthy levels. They follow them around like little lost puppies.If you had that attitude of bowing down to a womans every desire then polyandry wouldnt work. Polyamory wouldnt work. What happens when each wife demands the man spend all their time with them. So. Its not an excuse to deny polygyny. Plus... how many women are going to go along with this. Women arent going to over night agree to polyamory especially in todays society of equal rights. In order for polygyny or polyamorous relations to work the men and women have to be free. They have to be somewhat independent from each other. People need their space. You cant be joined to the hip with people if you are going to live a polyamorous life. It wont work.
    The average male goes to work and comes home tired. He plops on the couch and downs as many beers as he can in order to drown his wife out. I see it every day. I think most men feel they dont want to be married at all. I think most men are tired of putting up with women and feel that life would be better if they werent married. The truth is that the world is changing and not everyone wants the same thing. Many men want to be married to 1 woman, while others want to be single and not tied down to anyone else and then there are some that want to be polygynists. Society is too diverse for one group of people. So again this excuse to deny polyamorous or polygynists their rights doesnt work. Come on people. Its time to stop discriminating against others!

  9. Its all a damn lie! Single men who cant find a wife in a polygynous society will not resort to violent gangs. First off. We all have computers folks. If i was a single man in a polygynous society and couldnt find a wife, i would go online and find me a russian beauty, an asian cutie, a spicey latina or a canadian bunny to keep me warm at night. The point is i have options. I could even move to another country if i wanted to.
    What about JOBS! Do you think that men will stop working and doing what they want in order to join violent gangs.
    Thats putting the p---- on a pedastole. Like i have nothing better going on in my life then p----. I would still work, still have family and friends, still develop relationships and still enjoy life. Here is an example. I really dig this fantastic and amazing chick. She rocks! But she doesnt care for me. So she is equivalent to being off the market like this scenario. Even though i think she is the bees knees im not going to give up on life just to drool over her. I like girls but there is no girl that is worth me giving up on life for. The world is amazing, lots to see and do. I would still go out and hike in the mountains, travel the world, adopt children, and do everything imaginable.The whole premise is absurd. Men arent going to turn to violence. That would be like me getting mad and saying, since i cant find a wife, im going to take a baseball bat and beat my car and then burn my house down. No. That aint happening. And if i really needed to release tensions, i hear there are such things like fake lips and other body parts out there to satisfy my needs. In all seriousness i think i would just get a dog. I hear a dog is mans best friend. So they say. Seriously, just get a pet if your lonely. The whole point is men will not turn into raving lunatics because they are single. By the way, i dont see all the single men right now going out and resorting to violence because they dont have a girlfriend?

  10. Forget data and statistics. Its called common sense. In my world, i live by common sense. It doesnt take a rocket scientist to realize that its all b.s. i was single before. And guess what. I didnt turn into a criminal. How is that possible? Why didnt i turn into a criminal while i was single? Oh yeah, thats right. Because its not true. Men dont turn into criminals because they dont have a wife. Am i the only one on earth who has any common sense.

    1. of course the statistics may have gone wrong but not all men date women which its true cause some men are gay.


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