Monday, March 7, 2016

Solidarity From Advice Columnist Andre Shakti

Andre Shakti at provides an advice column with relevant material. First, the question...

Can you date sisters?
If they agree to it, of course someone can date sisters. Many traditionalist polygynists marry sisters.
I'm not saying I want to.
No, no, of course not.

I have two friends, who are dating, who went on a few double dates with a pair of biological sisters and from the bits and pieces I've gathered, group sex has definitely happened on these dates.
Group sex may or may not have meant the sisters had sex with each other,  but the implication here is that they did interact.
They're talking about forming a little polycule with these sisters. You can't do that, right?
Sure they can do that if they want. Although, the polycule could exist in such a way that the sisters don't interact as lovers. But again the implication is that this would would be a polyamorous consanguinamorous relationship.
Like, there definitely have to be rules to polyamory, and one of those rules has to be "you cannot date people within the same family".
If someone wants to have that rule for themselves, they can. But why not let other consenting adults have the relationships to which they mutually agree?
No one else in our social circle is as horrified as I am.
Good for them!

From the answer...

In short? I think you need to mind your own business.
Thank you!
The beautiful thing about nonmonogamy is that it can take on a seemingly endless array of permutations. There is no “one way” or “right way” to do poly - it looks different for everyone. As long as folks are operating ethically - utilizing honest, frequent communication and respecting each person’s boundaries - I truly believe that anything is possible.
Great answer!
Just because we’re squicked out by another person’s life choices doesn’t mean we have the authority to throw the proverbial book at them. So no, there are no “rules” to polyamory, unless you count “don’t be an a--hole”, and we should keep it that way.
Standing ovation!!!
Once we start trying to regulate how people love one another, we’re no better than those who oppress us.
Did I just hear a mic drop???

Not to rain on a parade at all, but while we'd hope most people would have this attitude, the law in some places might criminalize sexual activity between two women who are closely related. Many of the laws are written with heterosexual intercourse in mind, but some are written in a way that could put sisters in prison for certain affectionate or erotic acts. It's ridiculous, but that's why we're here. Along the same lines, authorities in Utah are trying to defend/reinstate criminalization of polyfidelity, so... just get familiar with the laws wherever it is that you live. All it takes is one rat to open the door for a power-tripping law enforcement agent to take action.
Being with sisters is a common fantasy, regardless of the gender of the person fantasizing. Ancient stories include such depictions. There's a Biblical story about a man marrying one sister and then another, and if Solomon had as many woman in his life as portrayed, some of them were likely sisters. Although people might not think of it as incest if sisters engage each other in sexual acts, it definitely falls under the heading of consanguinamory.

There's not an advice columnist, whether one appealing to a general audience or one that deals with a polyamorous or LGBTQ audience or a sex columnist who hasn't gotten letters about consanguineous sex or relationships. That's because it is a common fantasy, a desire a significant minority has, and something a lot of people have experienced one way or another. Most such letters never make it to print. Every once in a while, one does.

A hat tip to
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