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Friday, November 27, 2015

We Get Letters Wistful About Past Consanguinamory

Unknown left a comment on our most popular entry. His letter is about a situation that is not all that rare...
My parents had four kids. I am the oldest son, and I have two sisters and a much-younger brother. My parents divorced when I was sixteen and my oldest sister was fourteen. My mother struggled with alcoholism after the divorce.
That's unfortunate.
The feelings of loss and abandonment nearly wrecked our family. I hated my father. Our mother was trying to work full-time, go to school at night and still keep the house running. In order to do this, my oldest sister and I took on much of the cooking, cleaning, shopping, getting the younger kids ready for school, etc. In effect, we sort of took on a parental role in the house, including disciplining the younger kids.
Is this the ideal family situation? No. But it is what many people have dealt with due to a parent dying or leaving or being taken away (war, incarceration.)



My oldest sister and I began to grow closer and closer. We attended the same high school. One night when our mother was at an AA convention and we had the house to ourselves, we threw a small party where people drank and smoked pot.
Now that is something. Their mother was trying to deal with her drinking problem and the kids, being kids, did what kids do!

She and I both got very intoxicated, and after everyone left, we wound up having a "last drink" together laying on my bed. We were teasing one another and I impulsively kissed her, and one thing led to another. We made love twice before falling asleep.
So he wasn't too intoxicated to function sexually, apparently.
The next day I felt terribly guilty, and we were both very hung over, but after a few days we talked about it and decided it was just a mistake we wouldn't repeat. But then a week or so later, I felt very strongly attracted to her, went to her room and she reciprocated my approach to her and we made love twice again.
Consanguinamory is usually very intense.
We started "dating" by going places together as brother and sister, but pretended we were just a regular couple. We held publicly hands when we walked. We made out in the movies (after carefully making sure nobody we knew was there) and other stuff that teen-aged couples do. We talked about running away together and living as a couple somewhere far away from our family. This romantic and sexual relationship lasted until I was in my early twenties, and by accident our mother discovered us. She shamed my sister, but said nothing to me.
The implication here is that women are not to enjoy their sexuality. They were adults by this time, and should have been free to decide for themselves what relationships to have. If they had been more careful, they could have avoided that, but they shouldn't have had to be this careful. Their mother could have benefited from thinking it through.
Sis was very upset and broke off our relationship. Over the years we exchanged some love letters, even after my sister married.
Think about that. It is likely his sister's spouse had no idea. These things should have not have to be hidden. Nobody should be an unwitting beard to someone who wishes they were with someone else more or instead.
One time I had to go to a formal dinner and dance after she was married, and I asked her to go, and she did (she was beautiful.) We danced together, and allowed the other people to think we were just a regular couple. That night when I took her home, I wanted to make love with her, but she said, "We can't do that anymore, but I still love you, and I wish we could." We see each other at family events like Christmas and Thanksgiving, and she always kisses me warmly, but the relationship is over and I miss her terribly.

It is sad that they were forced apart. I hope his sister is having a good marriage, but it probably isn't all it could be because she really wanted to be with the man who was probably her first real love. It is ridiculous that anyone would prevent them from being together. There's no good reason to deny such lovers their rights.
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1 comment:

  1. Very sad that they could not be together. If I were their mother and saw how much they loved each other I would have supported them.

    ReplyDelete

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