Wednesday, November 5, 2014

One Way People Start Learning About Polyamory

There's an interesting blog called "The unveiling of a man the soul of a woman" and there was a post with the title of "Getting acquainted with polyamory" that caught our eye here at FME.

I didn't quite know how to feel when I unintentionally found myself at one end of a polyamorous relationship. I was startled, to say the least, although I did not quite understand why. Don't get me wrong, I have, for a long time, firmly believed that loving, consensual relationships of any shape or form should be accepted and welcomed in society. But at the same time, it was an unexpected surprise to be told by someone I had just started seeing that he had a girlfriend.

It is very important for people who will be expecting monogamy or polyamory to explain that early on, even if you're not at the point you know you'll want an ongoing relationship with this specific person. For someone willing to be in a polyamorous relationship with someone but not with a cheater, it then becomes important to verify that the person you're dating is not hiding that from their current partner(s).
Amidst my confusion, I felt the need to tell a few friends about how I was now involved in a polyamorous relationship. For the most part, the responses were neutral, if not supportive. But one of my friend's responses in particular stood out from the rest.

"That's messed up," my friend said abruptly, after sharing my experience with him.

"Not when there is consent on all ends of the relationship," I argued.

"Nah, it's still messed up."

My friend's strong reaction to polyamory – or more crucially, his reaction to a so-called deviant relationship form – spoke to a broader issue of how some forms of love and relationship structures are valued more and seen as more legitimate in society at-large.

Polyamory is gaining ground, though.
People who partake in more than one committed relationship at once are largely nonexistent in mainstream media.
Yes. But there are more and more representations, which is good.

In order to clear up these misconceptions, and to learn more about polyamory, I interviewed two people who identify as polyamorous: Jocelyn Beaudet, a student at Concordia University, and Jane*, a student in U1 at McGill, studying linguistics and Sexual Diversity Studies. Each person I spoke with helped me clear up misconceptions of polyamory that run rampant in our society. They shared their experiences of polyamorous relationships, and the difficulties they've encountered in a society where monogamy is understood as the only natural way that intimate relationships should form.

Click through to read it all.

It is good to see more and more people giving basic explanations and examples of polyamory, just as it is good to see more and more resources for people in polyamorous relationships and families.
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