Thursday, January 2, 2014

True Tales of Polyamory

Polyamory is now a regular topic in media, it seems, and that's a good thing. At, writes up "3 Fascinating and True Stories" of polyamory.
Every polyamorous relationship relies on open discussion of rules and boundaries; there is a running joke among poly people that you always spend way more time talking about your feelings than you do having sex with your multiple partners.

It can seem that way.

Story 1...
Karen is in her early 30s. She lives in Toronto with a male partner, whom she has been dating for over five years, and has a woman she considers her life partner, whom she has been close to for approximately three years. She also has other relationships, including a serious boyfriend who lives in the United States, and both her live-in partner and life partner have other relationships as well.

She says...
"There are a heap of benefits. Having the freedom to explore new feelings with people, being able to be honest with my partners and lovers (and allowing them to be honest with me), feeling like I'm connected to a web of love and care. There are also so many small moments of joy: cooking a meal for my partners or being excited to hear about a partner's new love."
Story 2...
Rina is an engineer in her mid-30s living in San Francisco. She was in a polyamorous relationship for five years with a married man that eventually ended after she realized that her partner's relationship with her was interfering with his stated desires to have children with his wife.

She says...
"I have yet to see anyone pull it off without major doses of drama and bulls--- and ego and pain." 
 That sounds like long-term intimate relationships in general.

Story 3...
Ben lives in New York and is in his late 20s. While he has been nonmonogamous with a partner, he has never been in a polyamorous relationship.

He says...
"Poly involves a lot of communication and scheduling, so much so that I'd think it'd be hard to even realize if you're in a relationship—or if you are, what is it? Perhaps the ambiguity of where things could go or progress or how to get more 'serious' would bother me."
You can read it all here along with comments. People are people, so for the most part, problems you might find in other relationships will be found in polyamorous ones. Some polyamorous relationships are closed, some are open. Some are good, some... not so much. People should be allowed their own path, and not forced into a narrow heteromonogamous mold.
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