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Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Polyamorous Consanguinamory in the Caribbean

By my count, this is the twentieth ongoing relationship I've covered through exclusive interviews in which the lovers are denied by prejudices from being open and honest about who they are and who they are to each other, even though these lovers have a spousal relationship.

Ed is a 22-year-old white male from the US state of Pennsylvania, living in the Caribbean. He has an older sister, Jamie, 25 and identical twin sisters, Megan and Stacey who are 20. His mother, Kara, is 41. They all live together. (All names have been changed to protect them from bigotry.) Ed’s family enjoys consanguinamorous polyamory. Ed is active on a certain Big Online Portal question-and-answer service, answering question from the perspective of his relationship experience.

Read this interview with an open mind and ask yourself if there is one good reason their rights to love each other the way they want should be denied.

(The language gets mildly explicit in a couple of places.)

*****

FULL MARRIAGE EQUALITY: Describe your background.

ED: My father died when I was 4 so my sisters and I grew up with our mother with a substantial fortune he left us. We had a lot of freedom. My father died when the twins were 2 so my mom was busy with them and still worked.




FME: What is your sexual orientation and relationship orientation?

I am straight, but have never been married, however I consider myself in a permanently committed polygamous relationship similar to marriage.


FME: How did your familial relationships become consanguinamorous?

Jamie and I were able to play without supervision a lot, and she started experimenting with me. Our mom was ignorant of our games as far as we knew. It turns out, she did know, she just didn't know how to discuss sex with us. Before we found out mom knew, the twins wanted to "play" with us too. We let them join us and we all had a lot of fun showing them what we had learned so far. Stacey and I have a special connection.

The 4 of us continued all playing together and having sex together, until my mom "caught" us and said we shouldn't do that any more. Mom never really enforced her rule and we just thought we could go on like we were forever. This was our thing we had going, and since we were sharing a room it wasn't about to change.

Mom made the twins and I switch rooms, so I was alone and the girls shared, but that didn't stop my drive. In fact, when I was cuddling with my mother in the evenings, I would try to get somewhere and eventually she would let me make little advances, and then we got further and further. I think at that point she had become almost desperate for physical attention from a male that she was really enjoying the attention I gave her.

Granted, I still did what I could with my sisters some times, but having my own room I targeted the closest access to sexual attention that I had. It was strange at the time because mom would accept what we did at night, but never acknowledge it during the day or around the girls at first. But then she opened up a lot. I finally got her to let me penetrate her and I went crazy with anxiety. I think it was the most intense orgasm I’d had to that day. The first time I had sex with her is something I would never forget.

Over a couple of months I guess mom became more and more accustomed to the idea of what we had been doing. She got braver and would do things with me during the day on the weekends. She would let me spend more time in my sister's room and even encouraged us all to stay nude at home pretty much all the time.

I got Jamie pregnant. We never had to say that it was my baby, but both of us wanted to try and raise her with mom's help. However, Mom thought it best to have an adoption. Thankfully a couple in the Caribbean was ready to adopt and keep our secret. Our daughter's adoptive parents know who we are, but don't reveal our true secret to her and now we live down the street from them as "friends of the family".

Jamie ended up dating after she delivered our daughter. She got pregnant by another guy and married him, but the marriage didn’t last. Then I got Mom pregnant. This was easy enough to pass off to others as the result of a one night stand, and we kept her.


Did you think any of this was wrong? Do you feel it is taboo or kinky?

I don't think I ever felt adverse to the actions any of us took. For me, growing up the way I did with my sister, sexual games were just a normal yet exciting, fun thing.

I have always thought of us as so completely natural, however, there have been a lot of times when I think about the social taboo of it all which makes it very kinky. Usually though, there is nothing taboo to us.

The other kinks involved would probably be the fact that we have sex as a group.


How do you and your siblings and mother see each other? As lovers, as siblings, as mother and son, or what?

We cannot separate our relationships as siblings or mother/son from our sexual relationships at this point.  It is just something that goes hand in hand.


Does anyone else know the full nature of your relationships, and if so, how have they reacted? Do you act as lovers in public?

A few of Stacey's friends found out about us once, but those rumors were squashed quickly. My maternal grandmother knows about our lives a little and disapproves, but she has been out of touch for a while.

Unfortunately, we were not able to act like a couple in public. That used to upset us, but we knew how people reacted to it. We all accepted that it was for the best that we kept our secrets at home.

Most people today know each of us as a couple. In public we live as though Stacey and I are lovers, mom is Stacy's mom and Meg lives with them, and Jamie is a roommate. Almost as if Jamie and I are not part of the family. The only steps we really have had to take is with Ashley's adoption, putting down rumors of Stacey and I and then moving to the island together.


What are the advantages and disadvantages of your relationships?

We completely understand the social dynamic we face. We have always accepted that the relationships we have will not be accepted in the modern world and we can be happy without publicizing our love. It is between us, not the rest of the world, but we are happy to share with those who will not be harshly judgemental.

On the other hand, the advantages we have as being siblings is that we have years of experience together. We are inseparable from each other. The same with mom. I couldn't imagine having the connection with another partner that I have with her. She knows every inch of my body and she knows exactly how to care for it in every way. I do everything I can to keep them happy as the only male lover, and they all treat each other the same way as lovers.


What do you want to say to those who don’t approve?

To those who don't approve: Get over it. It is not your business. We love with the same feelings, just with people you usually wouldn't do it with. We are not asking you to recognize us as "married" just don't tell us we are horrible and disgusting because you don't understand. Everyone has their perfect partners, and we found ours right at home.

There is no reason to interpret this multi -person relationship as "wrong". We care for and love each other, til the ends of the earth. We protect each other like family and care for each other as lovers. It is the best of both worlds.

The only time these relationships are wrong is when a person is forced or coerced. Any person consenting to sex should be completely informed. People should be able to know what the possible consequences are to their actions and know that having a child is not a short term situation. Education is the key. However, having a child is an amazing experience and worth every minute.


Speaking of children, how are the children?

The kids are perfectly healthy, and very smart. We actually had blood work done a couple years back. As far as we could tell, we don't have any detrimental recessive traits.


What advice do you have for others who might be entering into a situation like this?

I strongly suggest talking these things out. I would not change my life for the world, however, I have seen a lot of people react negatively to sexual activity between family members. The most important thing to remember is, even if you do not continue the relationship sexually, it's not anything to be ashamed of or guilty about. It is just another event in your life that made you who you are. It can be wonderful to know your sibling or even parent that way, but you must make the call together, equally. That is how any relationship should work.


What do you want to say to those who don’t believe this is a real situation?

Those who don't want to believe our situation is real are free to think what they want. It's probably best for someone like that to disbelieve than to take it seriously and try to report my mom for her involvement. So I am comfortable with not being believed.



Any plans for the future?

My sisters all want to have children, and my mom has considered 1 more, but she is running out of time. I don't know what else the future will bring, but it looks exciting.


*****


There you have it. Consenting adults who but should be free to pursue their relationship, whatever form it will take.

Why should they be denied their rights? There’s no good reason.We need to adopt full marriage equality sooner rather than later, so that an adult is free to share love, sex, residence, and marriage any and all consenting adults. Real people are being hurt because of a denial of their basic human rights to love each other freely.

You can read other interviews I have done here, including my interview with the polyamorous consanguinamorous marriage that originally inspired me to blog.

If you are in a relationship like this and are looking for help or others you can talk with, read this.

If you are a family member or friend of someone who is in or may be in such a relationship, please read this.

Thank you to Ed for providing this look into the love he shares.
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11 comments:

  1. Well Keith, I must be true, I'm feeling a bit "disgusted" by this incredible mix of polyamory and inbreeding between an entire family! O.o
    But just a bit, I don't want to condemn consenting adults enjoying sex, and if they really want this relationship they should be free to live it without feeling guilty.

    P.S. Sources?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We're not all going to "like" the idea of everyone else's relationship.

      As far as sources... this person is active on that Big Portal I'm not naming these days, answering questions consistent with the interview. The only way I can absolutely verify what is said in the interviews is to: 1. Do DNA tests myself, and 2. watch them actually have sex. Well, there have been couple of the interviews where I have bit a witness and/or participant, so I know for sure they have sex. But the others have proven to be just a little shy about doing the same with me.

      Delete
    2. "bit a witness?" I'm not into biting, I swear. I meant to write "been" a witness.

      Delete
    3. Wow! You have sex with some of them!? That's kinky

      Delete
    4. Although I don't talk about myself much on this blog, because I want it to be about the cause and not about me, I have made no secret of this. See this interview:
      http://marriage-equality.blogspot.com/p/happy-triad.html

      Delete
  2. Great interview, thanks! :-)

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  3. How would marriage laws affect this situation? I guess incest laws affect it.

    ReplyDelete
  4. This really does sound surreal, almost like something out of a porno, taboo and kinky to the fullest extent. Still, I completely respect what people do as consenting adults.

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  5. Will they,or the adoptive parents, tell their daughter the truce,when she grows up? It surely is a very hard mission in our world nowadays; I hope things would change by the time she's old enough to understand such matters

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  6. 'Incest' is a legal term in some countries, not in others, and varies in definition. Countries that base their law on the 'Napoleonic Code' usually don't have such a 'crime'. So, AFAIK, sex between siblings is not criminal in France and Belgium, but constitutes the 'crime' of 'incest' in the USA, Restrictions on marriage also vary from one jurisdiction to another. The laws of England did not stop Charles Darwin from marrying his first cousin, but such a marriage would not be possible in some US states (OK in others). Recent events make marriage between people of the same sex possible in some places, while forbidden in others. So the rubrics 'incest' and 'marriage' have different meanings and legal status depending on time and place. And different people will interpret these terms in radically different ways, logically, emotionally and religiously. One must take great care in defining just what one means when using any of these terms. In the interest of sane debate it is advisable to avoid them except in rare instances.

    ReplyDelete

To prevent spam, comments will have to be approved, so your comment may not appear for several hours. Feedback is welcome, including disagreement. I only delete/reject/mark as spam: spam, vulgar or hateful attacks, repeated spouting of bigotry from the same person that does not add to the discussion, and the like. I will not reject comments based on disagreement, but if you don't think consenting adults should be free to love each other, then I do not consent to have you repeatedly spout hate on my blog without adding anything to the discourse.

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