A Unicorn Makes Three

If my recollection is correct, this is the 48th ongoing relationship I've covered through exclusive interviews in which the lovers are denied the freedom to be open about their love and are, by law, denied the freedom to marry and have that marriage treated equally under the law.

The woman interviewed below is cogent and clearly able to consent to her relationship. She should be free to decide whether or not to legally marry. Yet in most states in the US (her country of residence) she could be criminally prosecuted and face other forms of discrimination if the wrong people found out about her relationship. They are consenting adults who aren't hurting anyone; why should they be denied their rights? Why shouldn't she be free to marry the father of her child?

Read the interview below and see for yourself what he has to say. You may think this relationship is interesting, or it might make you uncomfortable, or you might find it incredibly sexy, but whatever your reaction, should these lovers be denied equal access to marriage or any other rights?


*****


FULL MARRIAGE EQUALITY: Describe yourself.

Cheryl: I'm 44 yrs. old and up until six years. ago I was a devoted housewife. My son and I are from California but we now reside in Rhode Island.


FME: Are you married?

Cheryl: I'm legally divorced but ceremonially married to my son. It was just him and me and we exchanged vows and gave each other rings to symbolize our love.




FME: You are in a sexual relationship with your biological son?

Cheryl: Yes. I was 38 when we started our relationship and I'm 44 now. He was 18 and is now 24.


FME: Did you move to Rhode Island because of your relationship?

Cheryl: Yes. We researched state laws on incest and discovered that certain states didn't prosecute consensual incest between adult family members. We chose Rhode Island because my sister and her now ex-husband live here.



FME: When did you first notice an attraction?

Cheryl: My son told me when he was young that he was in love with me. I thought it was just a phase and he would grow out of it as he grew up and noticed other girls. Years later, I saw him naked while he was shaving his body for the swim team at school, and I found him attractive. I was disgusted with myself for feeling that way. I managed to squash those feelings for him.


FME: How would you describe your sexual orientation and your relationship orientation?

Cheryl: I am bisexual and my son is straight. Until two months ago my son and I were monogamous, but then my sister joined us. We had a long talk about things and she is now a part of our new poly-incestuous relationship.


[FME notes: This would make her sister what polamorous people call a unicorn.]

FME: Did you have any prior experience with your sister? What about other women?

Cheryl: We kissed once when we were younger but we didn't have sex with each other until she joined us in bed. I haven't had experience with other women, but I've always been somewhat attracted to women. My sister is more bisexual than I am.


FME: You currently live with?

Cheryl: I live with my son and my sister lives with us. My son and I also have a five-year-old daughter who lives with us, too. We keep her away from our love life but will tell her the truth about everything when she reaches adulthood.


FME: How is your daughter?

Cheryl: Our daughter is a happy and healthy five-year-old.


FME: What was your family life like growing up?

Cheryl: I grew up in a strict religious Catholic household. My father and mother were good parents to me. After I married and had my son, he grew up in a slightly less strict family with me and his father. My son and I have always been close as friends and as mother and son.


FME: How did sexual affection become a part of your relationship with you son?

Cheryl: On my son's 18th birthday, his father left us. I thought my world was falling apart but when my son got home from school he comforted me. He told me that he loved me and would always love me. He said if I was his wife he would never leave me. We started hugging and kissing each other's cheeks but when we kissed on the lips things quickly got out of hand. It was a mutual seduction if you want to put it that way.


FME: What were your thoughts and feelings?

Cheryl: I was confused by the feelings at first. At the same time I was determined to feel something other than despair. I wanted - no I needed -  my son. After that first time, I felt guilty and nauseous. Then he held me as I cried again and assured me that he wanted me forever. My son then made love to me again. By the end of that night I didn't feel the guilt anymore.


FME: Before this had you ever thought this would be possible or enjoyable; did you have any opinion one way or the other about mothers and sons being together? Do you, or have you had feelings like this for any other close family members whether they are genetic relatives or not?

Cheryl: I was raised to believe that incest was wrong. Before it happened I never entertained the notion. Being with my son that night and every night since then has really opened my eyes. There is nothing wrong and everything right with our love.



FME: Describe your relationship now?

Cheryl: I think the best way to describe it as a poly-incestuous marriage between my son, my sister and me. We all love each other very much and my son is the only man that my sister and I trust with our hearts.



FME: Do you keep lovemaking one-on-one, or is it sometimes or always a threesome?

Cheryl: My sister and I have one on one sex with my son and each other but we also have threesomes.



FME: Is your triad closed, or are any of you seeing or seeking others?

Cheryl: Our relationship is closed.


FME: How do you describe the sex/lovemaking now? Taboo? Natural? Especially erotic?

Cheryl: All three if I am being honest. It feels natural, taboo, and very erotic. The knowledge that I'm with my son and that he is making love to me makes it even better. It really is the best sex I've ever had.


FME: Does anyone in your life know the full, true nature of your relationship and how did they find out?

Cheryl: Before her divorce my sister figured out that my son and I were together. Also, there are a few trusted friends in California who know and two of our neighbors here know, too.


FME: Having to hide the full nature of your relationship from some people can be a disadvantage. Can you describe how that has been? Are there any other disadvantages? Conversely, do you think consanguinamorous relationships have some advantages and some things better than unrelated lovers?

Cheryl: It's been difficult sometimes to keep our true relationship hidden, especially back home. Here we can show our affection in public since my son looks different enough that nobody suspects that he's my son. I think our relationship is stronger than most unrelated marriages. We're family and have a stronger bond for it.


FME: What do you want to say to people who disapprove of your relationship or disapprove of anyone having this kind of relationship? What's your reply to those who would say that this is one of you preying on the other?

Cheryl: I would say that when its consensual and the people involved love each other it's no different than any other relationship. I didn't seduce my son into sex. He didn't force himself on me. There wasn't any rape involved and there still isn't.


FME: Aside from the law, which I think is ridiculous, can you think of anything that would make relationships like this inherently wrong?

Cheryl: Relationships like ours? No. Like I said before there is nothing wrong and everything right with our love for each other.


FME: If you could get legally married, and that included protections against discrimination, harassment, etc., would you?

Cheryl: In a heartbeat.


FME: What advice do you have for someone who may be experiencing these feelings for a relative or family member?

Cheryl: I would advise them to see if their family member might feel the same way. If both of them do then I see nothing wrong with them consummating their love for each other.


FME: What advice do you have for family members and friends who think or know that relatives they know are having these feelings for each other?

Cheryl: I would say not to judge them by what society says about them. If you are going to judge them at all it should be by how they treat each other and how much they love each other.


FME: Have you met in-person or do you know anyone else who has experience with consanguinamory?

Cheryl: The two neighbors who know our secret are a brother and sister in a monogamous relationship. They live as husband and wife and have two beautiful children together. Their children are also perfectly healthy.


FME:  Any plans for the future?

Cheryl: We will probably move back to California soon but to a different city than where we are from originally. We'll have to be more careful but we should still be able to show our affection in public.


*****


There you have it. They are consenting adults who aren't hurting anyone and yet face discrimination and denial of their rights simply for loving each other. They are happy and in love, yet they are denied their fundamental right to marry.

Why should they be denied their rights? There’s no good reason.We need to recognize that all adults should be free to be with any and all consenting adults as they mutually consent, and part of doing that is adopting relationship rights for all, including full marriage equality sooner rather than later. People are being hurt because of a denial of their basic human rights to love each other freely.

You can read other interviews I have done here.

If you are in a relationship like this and are looking for help or others you can talk with, read this.
If you want to be interviewed about your "forbidden" relationship, connect with me by checking under the "Get Connected" tab there at the top of the page.

If you know someone who is in a relationship like this, please read this.

Thank you to Cheryl for doing this interview! We wish you well in your intergenerational, polyamorous, consanguinamorous relationship. Please note that Cheryl has a VERY NSFW (NOT SAFE FOR WORK) Tumblr here where she does answer questions about her love life, between postings of sexual imagery.