At independent.co.uk, interviews our friend Louisa Leontiades about her experiences with ethical nonmonogamy and her new book, The Husband Swap
Relationships often bring growth and learning, and polyamorous relationships often mean more growth and learning.What did you learn from becoming polyamorous?I think if there overarching lesson, not only from this kind of relationship but all of it, is to really try and love yourself with everything you do because if you don’t that hatred for yourself and dislike will be projected onto others and your low self esteem will lead to insecurity and jealousy and possessiveness and entitlement.
Do you have a message for people who call you [a slut]?
It's great to see that this book is now available!
I don’t tend to respond to “slut”. What I will respond to is reasoned argument and I haven’t found one yet that I can’t call out a logical fallacy or a societal norm that is assumed as a norm for everybody. The slut ones… It’s their opinion and they are entitled to their opinion but they’re not the people I’m trying to reach. Many people simply jump on the bandwagon.
For those it offends, any change or any difference in lifestyle or inclination that threatens the norm does threaten the establishment. Many of the minority movements have basically the same battle, where their choices, simply by being different have threatened other people’s sense of their own rightness. The mind sometimes equates being right with surviving, in order to survive people like to be right.