Monday, September 22, 2014

Couple Expecting a Child Denied Their Right to Marry

This is the thirty-ninth ongoing relationship I've covered through exclusive interviews in which the lovers are denied the freedom to be open about their love and are, by law, denied the freedom to marry and have that marriage treated equally under the law.

The people in interview below are adults, people you might live next to or see every day, in a consensual relationship with each other. Yet they face discrimination and prejudice for their love, having to hide the truth. They aren't hurting anyone; why should they have to hide and be denied their rights?

Read the interview below and see for yourself what they have to say. You may think their relationship is interesting, or it might make you uncomfortable, but either way, should they be denied equal access to marriage?

*** PLEASE NOTE that this is, perhaps, the "most taboo" of relationships between consenting adults; a father and the daughter he raised living together as spouses, having a child together. ALSO,  a few answers get somewhat sexually intense.***


FULL MARRIAGE EQUALITY: Describe yourself.

Jenna: My name is Jenna, I'm 23, white, 5'3. I live with my father currently. I go to a local technical college for medical science with the hopes to be RN after I graduate. I have one older brother; he's 25. I'm currently pregnant my first pregnancy. It's my father's baby. We live together.

John: My is John, I'm 45 years old, I'm white, 6'2. I stay in good shape because I work in construction and constantly am lifting and moving heavy objects. I've been doing it for twenty years now. I'm a country boy so I enjoy hunting, fishing, going mudding, stuff like that, but I clean up nicely when I go out to eat or whatever. I have two brothers; an older one and a younger one.

FME: Are you married or have you ever been married?

John: I'd been married once, to the mother of my two oldest kids.

Jenna: I have never been married.

FME: How would you describe your sexual orientation and your relationship orientation?

Jenna: I'm bisexual and we are polyamorous. Basically, we are a couple but we date others, too.

John: I'm heterosexual.

FME: How are things looking with the pregnancy?

Jenna: The tests that have been done show she's perfectly healthy and is developing at an amazing rate.

FME: What kind of relationship, if any, did you have while you were growing up? Were you separated?

Jenna: No, I've always lived with him. My mom left us when I was young, but he's always been here.

John: We were always close. Growing up, she was always your typical daddy's girl; always close around me and wanting to know what I was doing. I've always been here for her and her brother.

FME: How did sexual affection become a part of your relationship?

Jenna: Well the thought of incest always kind of turned me on and I started noticing he would check me out a lot and he'd even been watching father/daughter porn on his computer.

I was in bed with him, and he was hard and it was poking me so I asked him to move it. He did, but it didn't do much good, so I reached back and went to move him and he moaned as I touched him. I giggled a little and he was like "Sorry, Babe, it just feels amazing" and I told him it was okay and I started to stroke him. His eyes got big and he was like "Are you sure you wanna do this, Jenna?" and without answering I lowered my head onto him and began to [perform oral sex.]

John: I'd started noticing how beautiful she was at a young age and I felt guilty for thinking of her the way I did, but I couldn't help it. I was looking up incest stories and videos and always thinking about us together. I mean, I never would of tried anything with her because she was my baby girl and I wouldn't hurt her, but then things happened like she said. I was so surprised I couldn't think of anything to say other than asking her if she was really okay with it.

Jenna: I'd thought about how it would feel but never thought it would happen. I was nervous about doing it, scared he would be mad, and excited I finally was able to do it. I'd always found the subject of incest a huge turn-on and I'm not sure why.

John: I was scared that she would regret it and maybe report me, but extremely excited that what I'd been thinking about was happening. I was filled with love for her.

FME: Do you, or have you had feelings like this for any other close family members whether they are genetic relatives or not? Any prior experience with family?

Jenna: No, I really have no feeling for anyone else in my family. I've seen my uncle naked and I've caught my brother masturbating but never done anything with them.

John: Ive always felt no matter what two people who love each other have the right to be together. My mom was always very open sexually and liked to walk around nude. I really enjoyed the sight of her nude body growing up. I lost my virginity to her.

FME: John, was your father still with your mother?

John: He was around, but he was always either drunk or at work and was quite an a--hole to everyone, including mom. He treated her like she was s---.

FME: So how did you lose your virginity to her?

John: As me and my brothers got older, we began to pay more attention to my mom and noticed just how beautiful of a woman she was. I think she noticed. Eventually, she came to me with how my dad was always mistreating her and calling her ugly. I told her she was the most beautiful woman and hugged her. She started crying and said she didn't even feel like a woman anymore and no man had made her feel like one in a while.

I was extremely nervous when I told her I would. She told me she'd show me what to do and it went from there.

Since my brothers and I idolized her, we all ended up showing her such affection. After how my dad treated her we probably made her feel like a goddess.

FME: Getting back to the two of you, how do you describe the lovemaking now? Taboo? Natural? Especially erotic? Is it family-with-benefits, girlfriend-boyfriend, a marriage, what? Some people say familial eroticism is inherently kinky, but I have found that for many it doesn't feel kinky. What about for you? Some say it is the best sex they've ever had.

Jenna: It's very natural. It ranges from lovemaking to rough sex. It just depends on our moods at the time. It's boyfriend - girlfriendish. It's not very kinky. I mean we've done kinky things like bondage, roleplaying, etc., but the regular sex is like any other two people having sex. My dad is the best I've had. He knows what I want.

John: Very natural. It felt taboo as hell at first, but now it feels as natural as sex with anyone else. I don't think it's kinky just being together, she is the best I've had, partly because she's willing to try lots of stuff.

FME: Describe your relationship now. What are your living arrangements? Do you see each other as family or lovers, or are those two roles inseparable at this point? Have you had other lovers since your relationship with each other became sexual, and have any of them known about your relationship with each other?

Jenna: We are very close; we are like boyfriend and girlfriend. He is still my dad, and at times that's all he is, but he is also my lover at other times. I have a room that I sleep in when others are at the house, but any other time I'm sleeping in bed with him. We both continue to date and be sexually active outside of our relationship. It's an agreed-upon decision to keep too many questions from being asked. One of my ex-boyfriends knows and I don't know if dad has told anyone.

John: We are very close. At times I have to be dad, but at other times I am her lover. I've dated a few women since we've started, and no, I haven't told any of them.

FME: Who else knows the full, true nature of your relationship? How have they reacted? Are you able to act like a couple in public?

Jenna: My brother knows about us. He walked in on us one time. He flipped out at first because he instinctually thought that dad was forcing me, but when we all sat down and talked, he calmed down. He was still uneasy about what was happening but he never judged or said we needed to stop; he just asked that we didn't do it around him. We tend to act like a couple when we are out alone like if we go out to eat, to the movies, etc., we really haven't done much [to hide being a couple] besides not acting like lovers around family members.

FME: Having to hide the full nature of your relationship from some people can be a disadvantage. Can you describe how that has been? Are there any other disadvantages? Conversely, do you think consanguineous relationships have some advantages and some things better than unrelated lovers?

John: I hate having to hide it. I would give anything to be able to just openly admit to our relationship without the fear of being arrested and being judged. I feel that being related kind of adds a naughtiness at first, but after awhile it's not much different.

Jenna: I think the fact we have to hide it makes it more exciting for me. Yeah, at times it sucks, but I love the feeling of having to hide it. I'm not sure if being related to the person really adds anything besides maybe the fact you know each other extremely well.

FME: What do you want to say to people who disapprove of your relationship, or disapprove of anyone having this kind of relationship? What's your reply to those who would say that you can't really consent to this and you're being abused?

Jenna: All I honestly have to say to people who disapprove is it's my life I'll live it how I want. If you don't like it walk away. I just tell them they are too stupid to understand the fact that I started it and my dad would never force, abuse, use, or mistreat me.

John: I just say if two people are willing together and love each why judge them? It's their life, their choices. I'd never do anything to hurt my daughter, and she made the first move not me.

FME: What advice do you have for anyone having sexual or romantic feelings for a family member?

Jenna: Just that you should never rush into it. Make sure your family member wants it, too. The best way to do this is drop hints like telling them they look amazing or complimenting them a lot and doing thing like "accidentally" letting them see you naked or "forgetting" to clear your browsing history of incest sites/videos just to see how they react. If they begin acting differently, like wearing less clothing around you, becoming more flirtatious with you, then you can slowly begin to make moves towards becoming sexual. Just never rush it or do something you aren't 100% sure you know they are okay with, because you've got to remember it is your family.

John: I'm honestly not good at advice. I still sometimes wonder how I got lucky enough to be with my beautiful daughter.

FME: Aside from the law, which I think is ridiculous, can you think of anything that would make relationships like this inherently wrong?

John: Nope. In a relationship where both parties are willing I see no issues with it myself.

Jenna: I honestly see nothing wrong with a relationship like ours. The only time I disagree with incest is when both participants aren't fully willing.

FME: If you could get legally married, and would be protected from discrimination, would you?

Jenna: We probably would be married if the law allowed us to.

John: I probably would of proposed long ago.

FME: Have you met in-person or do you know anyone else who has experience with consanguinamory or consanguineous sex?

John: Just my brothers and mother.

Jenna: One of my high school friends fathered a child with his mother when he was sixteen. No one besides me, him, and his mom knows that their son is actually theirs. Everyone, including his dad, thinks it's his dad's. Also, I've talked to a brother and sister online that have been doing oral together for along time and plan to experiment with sexual intercourse very soon.

FME: Any plans for the future?

Jenna: Just raising our daughter.

John: Staying together and raising our daughter.


UPDATE From July 2015: Jenna, John, and baby are doing well.

There you have it. Consenting adults who aren't hurting anyone, who are going to be raising a child together, and face discrimination and denial of their rights simply for loving each other.

Jenna has a NOT SAFE FOR WORK Tumblr:

Why should they be denied their rights? There’s no good reason.We need to recognize that all adults should be free to be with any and all consenting adults as they mutually consent, and part of doing that is adopting relationship rights for all, including full marriage equality sooner rather than later. People are being hurt because of a denial of their basic human rights to love each other freely.

You can read other interviews I have done here.

If you are in a relationship like this and are looking for help or others you can talk with, read this.

Thank you to Jenna and John for doing this interview! If you want to be interviewed about your "forbidden" relationship, connect with me by checking under the "Get Connected" tab there at the top of the page.
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  1. I fully support this couple, and wish them a happy life together. I hope that this child and any others they may have are happy and healthy, just like the one I have with my brother.
    -Liz Smith

  2. I loved Jenna's comments about incest being a hot topic and hiding it to be part of the thrill. Those are words that could have come right out of my own mouth.


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