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Monday, November 4, 2013

Strong ABS Counters Weak Hit Piece

Angi Becker Stevens hit Eli Lehrer's bad pitch against polyamory clear out of the park in this response at huffingtonpost.com...
Many polyamorous women, like myself, are in loving, committed relationships with multiple men. And a large number of us -- from my observation, seemingly a larger percentage than of the general population -- consider feminist values to be central to our relationships.
When someone says polyamory is harmful to women, there are many, many women (and men) who laugh until their sides hurt, or roll their eyes, or cough dismissively. You know what hurts women who have a polyamorous relationship orientation? Being forced into monogamy.

Lehrer is also concerned with the social problem of polyamory creating an inherent scarcity of partners.

Yes, Lehrer sounded worried that if women has more choices in the matter, he'd be lonely.
But again, this is only a concern if you assume that polyamory only means one man with many women. But given the reality of modern, egalitarian polyamorous relationship configurations that include one woman with several men, three or more men or women all in a relationship together, quads made up of two men and two women, and many more, it is difficult to imagine how polyamory can create a scarcity of available partners of one gender or the other.
Yes!
It is of course true that granting legal recognition to polyamorous families would also have the effect of granting legal recognition to patriarchal polygamous families as well. But the unfortunate reality is that many women still live in oppressive, fundamentalist monogamous marriages, and we do not use that as an excuse to eschew marriage all together. The problem is patriarchy itself, not the particular form relationships take. If anything, decriminalization of multi-partner relationships would allow more women in polygamous relationships who are being abused to access social services without fear of punishment.

Exactly!

Read it all. It is Angi is brilliant.
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