Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Bigots Claim to Know Happy Home is Unhappy

Insulting as it may be, there are people who claim to know that the homes other people have made for themselves can't possibly be happy ones, no matter what the people in those homes say. Khusbu Bhakta reports at on an appearance by the Browns of "Sister Wives." The television personalities returned to UNLV to possibly open more minds.

Kody Brown from Sister Wives explaining his role in the show at the Marjorie Barrick Museum Auditorium on Thursday, April 25, 2013. PHOTOS BY PAULINA ZENG/THE REBEL YELL

“The great thing about [polygamy] is that it was our choice,” said patriarch Kody Brown. He held his position during the panel in the center of his four wives — Meri, Janelle, Christine and Robyn. Each time he spoke they looked at him in admiration.

The women were dressed in contemporary attire — high heels, black skirts and slacks and brightly colored tops. Their hair was blown out, their faces made-up and no bonnet in sight.
There are many flavors of polygamy and even more of polyamory.

A member of the crowd stood up and asked if the women were looking to Kody Brown for permission before they spoke.

Meri Brown heatedly grabbed the microphone and said she looks at her husband because she loves him and when she wants to speak she will. The audience applauded.
Women can and do freely choose to enter into polygynous relationships.

Christine Brown’s aunt, Kollene Star, Kristen Decker and Willie Steed sat opposite the Kody Brown family, all three from polygamous backgrounds which they had abandoned.

“I didn’t want to share my husband,” Decker said.
Raised in a polygamous family herself, she felt she had to stay in her own marriage because of her religion.

“I was told that if I didn’t support my husband in plural marriage, then I wouldn’t be able to see my children in heaven,” Decker said.
If that shows a problem with something, it is of a problem of a particular religion, not the polygamous freedom to marry. There are people of different faiths or no religion at all who are in polyamorous relationships.
Willie Steed is the son of Warren Jeffs, former president of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints who was convicted of two felony counts of child sexual assault in 2011. Steed broke away from polygamy because he felt like he wasn’t growing in life.
Notice that he, and others, left. Good for them, if that is what they wanted to do. Let other people do what they want to do.
He knew he had to leave from under Warren Jeffs’ lifestyle. Steed believes polygamy is wrong and is designed only to fulfill the selfish needs of the patriarch.
I wonder what he has to say about polyandry, three or more women getting married, three or more men getting marriage, or an even number of men and women forming a polygamous relationship?
[Moderator William] Jankowiak has studied polygamous families for over 25 years and says most are dysfunctional. But the Browns, he said, are the exception to the rule. They communicate their difficulties and make sure the children are being raised in a genuine and loving household. They chose this lifestyle and openly display it, unlike most polygamous families.

With relationship rights for all adults, including full marriage equality, the problems inherent in having to hide relationships would go away, making things better for everyone. Bigotry hurts.
Originally from Utah, they relocated because of prejudice. Meri Brown lost her job when they came out as polygamists, Kody Brown received threats from coworkers, and the entire family is currently under investigation for bigamy.

People waste time trying to harm people for loving each other and sharing their lives. What a shame.

“Our children are free to make any decision they want when it comes to marriage,” Janelle Brown said. “Whether they want to be heterosexual, homosexual, monogamist or polygamist.”

Good for the Browns! They have displayed their solidarity with LGBT people and I hope they feel that solidarity is reciprocated.
Jancis M. Andrews on commented on the article...
Has this group even discussed these serious drawbacks to their “marriage?” These women are nothing but concubines in Kody’s harem, and are therefore second-class citizens.
What makes them second-class citizens is the denial of their right to marry.
Someone should tell them that the year is 2013 AD, not 2013 BC, and that they don’t have to fear they can’t run a household without the help of other women.
Maybe they actually like their lives? Why does Andrews want to deny these adults their right to choose?
By the way, does Kody ever give a hand with the household chores, such as washing the dishes? Or does he rely on his harem of four women to do the job for him?
Oh, so they're not "nothing but concubines" now?

Nancy Mereska on also commented...
I applaud Kristyn Decker for standing up to the Brown’s. Stop Polygamy in Canada Society disagrees with families like the Brown’s putting on such a glossy front.

Standing up to? Glossy front? What's Mereska's evidence that the Browns are not as happy as they appear to be?
Those who think polygamy should be legalized need to look at the great riots of France and England in the last half-decade. Groups of fatherless youth, living in poverty, forming gangs and rioting.
There are many, many fatherless youth from "monogamous" homes. Mereska wants to make sure Brown can't be legally married to all the mothers of his children, and so it is she who wants to deny children their father. Keeping a ban on the polygamous freedom to marry will not give any children a father, it will, in a way, deny many their father. Citing England and France implies that those countries legalized polygamy, which isn't the case.

Wow, these anti-equality folks are so blinded by prejudice that they can't be bothered to think. For every person they cite who says they had a bad childhood in a polygamous home, we can find thousands who've said the same thing about their "monogamous" home.
An adult, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, race, or religion, should be free to share love, sex, residence, and marriage with ANY and ALL consenting adults, without prosecution, bullying, or discrimination. It is absurd that in 49 of 50 US states, it is entirely legal for a woman to live with two men and have children by both of them, but not be married to both of them at the same time, even though they all agree. A woman, like a man, should be free to marry a man, a woman, two women, two men, or men and women. Don't like it? Don't do it. 
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