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Thursday, April 29, 2010

Congrats to Pearl Carter and Phil Bailey

A grandmother, Pearl Carter has found love in the arms of a younger man, Phil Bailey. It is making news because he's her biological grandson.

Phil is the son of Pearl's daughter Lynette Bailey, and the pair is braving public horror and even prison by breaking one of the last taboos – incest.

However, the pair makes no apologies for their controversial plan to start their own family.

Good for them. They are showing the world that there’s nothing to be ashamed of, and that their relationship is just as valid as any other.

'I'm not interested in anyone else's opinion,' Pearl says. 'I am in love with Phil and he's in love with me. Soon I'll be holding my son or daughter in my arms and Phil will be the proud dad'.

Phil adds, 'I love Pearl with all my heart. I've always been attracted to older women and I think Pearl is gorgeous.

Shouldn’t they be able to marry if they choose? They're going to have a child through a surrogate, and that child should have the legal protections of a married family, if that is what they want.

Due to Lynette being adopted out, Phil and Pearl didn’t find each other until after Phil was an adult. The article does discuss Genetic Sexual Attraction, and how knowing about that has put them at ease.

In 2006, Phil met his grandmother for the first time.

'From the first moment that I saw him, I knew we would never have a grandmother-grandson relationship,' Pearl remembers happily. 'For the first time in years I felt sexually alive.'

Phil admits that he had the same feelings towards Pearl.

'I wanted to kiss her there and then,' he says. 'My feelings were overwhelming.'

We need more couples like them to come out to the world. Congratulations to them. And read the whole story, which, thankfully, does not have quotes from any bigots.
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31 comments:

  1. *sigh*

    I want to move to another planet.

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  2. I'm not sure I understand how this issue gets linked to the same-sex marriage issue ... Pearl and Phil are opposite genders. What's the link?

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  3. Now, I have heared it all....
    Can I move with you to another planet Andi?

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  4. good for them?

    what's next.. marrying your pet.

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  5. Beth, thanks for stopping by and asking your question. I am for marriage equality for all, not just some. Just look around this blog. Marriage equality needs to be about more than just same-sex relationships. Polyamorous relationships are denied marriage equality, as are others, such as Pearl and Phil, at least in most places in the world. This needs to stop. We need marriage equality for all.

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  6. I should also point out that you can see bigotry expressed right here in the comments some others have left.

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  7. really....of all the things I can tolerate, this is just not one of them. If that offends anyone here, I'm sorry you feel that way. Please take a look at history. Specifically, please look at the line of Egypt's Pharaohs. Look at what happened to they physically due to constant intermarriage. This is really not ok. Medical science has proven how bad this can be genetically. That's a good portion of the reason it should never be allowed.

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  8. Really? So tell me again why you wouldn't allow two brothers to marry?

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  9. Hi... that was great stuff.. I really like reading on this subject Could you tell me more on that... I love to explore

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  10. 'I want to kiss her there and then''My feelings were overwhelming'
    OMG it just so so DISGUSTING,for God's sake please put your mind in the right place..

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  11. Incest should not even be on the table as a marriage equality issue, it is incest! They are related! This is just wrong.

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    1. Hmmm, you expect everyone else to just accept your assertion that their rights should be denied in favor of how you feel about it? Doesn't cut it. An adult should be free to share love, sex, residence, and marriage with any consenting adults. They are consenting adults. Equality just for some is NOT equality!

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    2. Actually there is no need to "expect" people to accept this assertion, people do accept this particular assertion. This, unlike homosexuality, truly is a choice, and it actually is a danger to the human race, acceptance of something like this would actually be an irresponsible move for society. It is a shame that someone who fights for what on face value is an excellent idea "marriage equality." Actually turns out to be so fundamental that they seem of oblivious of the fact it is driving them to condone dangerous behaviour.

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    3. Anonymous, assuming this is all a choice, so what? Where is the danger that's greater than with other legal relationships and behaviors?

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    4. Assuming? Unless you are a believer in the one true love philosophy I can't see how you can deny it being a choice. And you seem to be under the impression I am actually defending the legal rights of people as to these dangerous behaviours, honestly there are a decent number of things that are legal that I'm less than happy with.

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    5. So you want to go backwards? Good luck with that. Relationship rights are moving towards equality. for example, no longer will only heterosexual males have freedom over their own bodies and relationships.

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  12. good for them???? "They are showing the world that there’s nothing to be ashamed of"??? seems like in this planet there’s nothing to be ashamed of anymore!! .... actually we need to think more about world and less about what we want to do. It's not "just ok" and "it's love" and "they have right's" and stuff. Bullshit! A child will born with a mom which will be dead when the kid have 12 years!! and think about what this kid will be if the genetics don't work. There is reasons because people can't married with other family members. I don't think this lady can take care of the kid! and maybe the kid can present problems in his body. Sorry this is not love at all it's a terrible confusion in this people mind. Love is about care not attraction and sex and selfish thoughts like "I love her so I want to have a family with her, no matter what!" THINK MORE

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    1. OK, so YOU wouldn't have done this. But we have reproductive rights, at least where I live, and there's never assurance that a parent will live long enough to raise their child. The genetics question doesn't even apply here, because I'm sure the child would/will/is not genetically hers offspring.

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  13. It's not like they're continually inbreeding lol. They didn't even know they were related! He didn't grow up with her as his grandma. I'm not saying I agree but I mean c'mon. How does it affect anyone else if they get married and have a kid? As long as the kid doesn't continue it, it won't have any genetic effects.

    Cousins can marry in the US: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cousin_marriage_law_in_the_United_States_by_state

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  14. Except we know for a fact that incestuous relationships produce genetically deformed offspring. If they aren't going to have kids, whatever I suppose, but they want kids it cannot be allowed because that is a risk not only to the child, but acceptance of genetically deformed and inferior children is a risk to the entire human race.

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    1. Anonymous, most children born to close relatives are healthy. However, this couple couldn't have a biological child together anyway. They would be using a donated egg, at least. But what you propose is something called eugenics. It kind of went out of fashion with the fall of Nazi Germany. And, would you prevent someone with Huntington's Disease from having a child? How about someone with dwarfism? Who is "healthy" enough, and who decides who gets reproductive rights and who doesn't? You?

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  15. I feel about this the same way I feel about homosexuality. They're in no way shape or form affecting my life, why should I care??

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  16. Okay...if we want a world full of people who look and behave like those in the movie "The Hills Have Eyes."

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    1. Yes, fictional horror movies always accurately depict reality.

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  17. I'm sorry but your comments are literally ruse and repeat. I do see your point on the topic however you need to at least see ours. Most of us could care less what this couple does however once you bring reproduction into it, it's a whole new ball game. The thing is "if" this were the two acut ally reproducing (not using a surrogate and egg) that child would have a strong chance of serious health defects that far out weigh those of the ones you have currently listed. Now let's look at the the child being born assume it's healthy. You really think this child will have friends? Both children and parents alike will look at this poor child as flawed and diseased even if it were healthy simply because it was a grandmother and grandson who were the parents. You can argue equal rights all you want but incest is so wrong that even the offspring can be so badly misformed they might not make it. Plus how is it fair for that child to suffer the agony of daily ridicule by peers just because these two want to be together? You want equal rights at least think of the child before continuing your argument. This all being said I completely agree with gay rights and everything else. Also I'm pretty sure this story is false. It started in 2010 with no follow up story and the original site took it down after its first week with no explanation.

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    1. Anonymous, most consanguineous lovers do take genetic risks into consideration. Most children born of consanguinamorous parents are healthy. That's a fact. I guarantee you know some and you don't know their true parentage, and maybe they don't, either. Some are actually highly intelligent and attractive. Would you outlaw people with obvious, serious genetic problems from having children?How would you enforce that? With camps, maybe?

      As far as how they'd be treated by others.., here's an idea... STOP MISTREATING THEM AND THEY WON"T BE MISTREATED!!!

      http://marriage-equality.blogspot.com/2011/06/consanguinamory-and-reproduction.html

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  18. Marriage equality??? Stop using your your stupid agenda to promote incest! THIS IS INCEST, AND IT'S NOTHING SHORT OF EVIL! AND IF YOU WANT TO CALL ME A BIGOT THEN YES!!! I AM A BIGOT!!

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    1. Well with such strong arguments such as yours, I guess we should abandon basic human rights.


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  19. after my mom's dad died (from natural causes), my grandmother came to live with us for a while. she had taken good care or herself and did not look anywhere near her true age. we lived on a small farm and had all of the usual daily chores to tend to. as time passed and Mamaw adjusted to having lost her husband, she became more relaxed and interested in what was going on around her. obviously this did not happen overnight. losing your lifelong spouse is a big change for anyone. at the time, my daily responsibilities included tending to the livestock we had at the time and keeping up with repairs on the rolling stock we used to keep the farm on operation. pretty quickly, my grandmother took an interest in going with me to pick up repair parts for the tractors, plows, harrows, etc. she and my grandpaw had, in their last years together, spent a number of hours each day doing pretty much the same thing (picking up repair parts) because of the car repair garage so anytime,he ran. so anytime I needed to run errands for parts, etc. she like to go if for no other reason than for a change in scenery from the house. as time passed, we did develop a close relationship as we talked more and more each day. happily, for us both, our relationship grew stronger. occasional hugs became more and more enjoyable for each of us, and we progressed to hugs and kisses with each time ending in totally enjoyable embraces. each of us started getting a little more dressed up for the little trips around town, and we both happily anticipated the next time we would hold each other closer and kiss for an even longer time. I knew she was working through her loss so I was careful to not rush any of our embracing session. at the time I was not dating anyone so I was lonesome and also needed tomeone to hold and talk with and trust. keep in mind my Mom and my Dad worked full time; so Mamaw and I were alone during the daytime on the farm. but we found we both loved and liked each other very much. she liked being held and caressed as much as she ever had during her marriage. we kept this up for a whole summer until my Mamaw decided she needed to go back home to Fort Worth and reopen her dress shop. we still managed to spend time together each time I went to Fort Worth to see Her and also visit kinfolks in that part of the State.

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To prevent spam, comments will have to be approved, so your comment may not appear for several hours. Feedback is welcome, including disagreement. I only delete/reject/mark as spam: spam, vulgar or hateful attacks, repeated spouting of bigotry from the same person that does not add to the discussion, and the like. I will not reject comments based on disagreement, but if you don't think consenting adults should be free to love each other, then I do not consent to have you repeatedly spout hate on my blog without adding anything to the discourse.

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