Lovers in the UK Discover They Can’t Exercise Their Rights

This comment came in and I wanted to address it here…

Hi we're in desperate need of help and dont know what way to turn, My parents divorced when I was very young and I didn't know my father, my partner's father died in 1997, we've been in a very happy relationship for the past year and the subject of marriage has been mentioned, however over the past few days while researching our family's tree we discovered that we have the same father, we love each other and our feelings have not changed but we now realise that we'll never be able to marry, we're in the uk and the law here says that half siblings cant marry, can anyone suggest any thing else we can do to show our love for each other ie a non legal ceremony or something similar, thankyou

First of all, each situation is unique and anyone with anything similar should feel free to email me at fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com. I won’t share anything you tell me privately with anyone else, unless you give me permission. I might be of more help, customized help, and help on an ongoing basis that way.

Next… do not reveal what you’ve discovered to anyone, at least not for now.

Until the laws of the UK catch up to full marriage equality, then yes, this is going to be an issue.

I don’t know how it works in the UK, but in at least some places in the US, some half siblings have been able to “legally” marry because the state (county) determined eligibility through their birth certificates, and their birth certificates didn’t show a shared parent. However, if the authorities were to discover the truth, the marriage would be invalidated and it could become a criminal matter.

Also in the US, people are free to have ceremonies that aren’t legally binding. None of the guests at weddings check to see if there is an actual valid government marriage license.

Of course, you can have a small private ceremony anywhere, as long as the wrong people aren’t informed.

There are half siblings living as spouses in the UK. I know some. Some have also hired an estate planning and/or family law attorney to create paperwork for them that provides as many of the legal aspects of marriage for them as possible, without actually being legally married. For example, they are reciprocal beneficiaries, and if one ends up in the hospital, the other can visit and make decisions for them, they have joint financial accounts, etc. If you go this route, do not tell the attorney you are half siblings who are having sex with each other. No attorney needs to know you are lovers, just that you want to be responsible for each other primarily, before any other relatives. 

You might want to consider moving to a country or jurisdiction in which half siblings are not criminalized for being lovers. France, Spain, many more countries, and three US states are included in that. However, the vast majority of half siblings living as spouses in the UK will never be subjected to a criminal investigation of the matter, thankfully. 

Again, do contact me privately so we can discuss this further.

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