From Despair to Delight

People in consanguinamorous relationships are everywhere, though consanguinamorists tend to be closeted. Fortunately, some are willing to be interviewed for this blog. As a result, Full Marriage Equality has featured scores of exclusive interviews with lovers are denied the freedom to be open about their love and are, by law, denied the freedom to marry and have that marriage treated equally under the law.

The woman interviewed below should be free to legally marry her lover, yet they can't, and they could be imprisoned and have their lives ruined if they were outed to the wrong people. They are consenting adults who aren't hurting anyone; why should they be denied their rights? In much of the world, including 48 US states, they could be criminally prosecuted for their love

Read the interview below and see for yourself what this woman has to say. You may think this relationship is interesting, or it might make you uncomfortable, or you might find it ideal, even highly erotic and romantic, but whatever your reaction, should these lovers be denied equal access to marriage or any other rights simply because they love each other this way?

WARNING: Mild sexuality. 

*****



FULL MARRIAGE EQUALITY: Describe yourself

Natasha: My name is Natasha, I live in London, England. I work as a nurse and have since I was 20. I’m 51 now. I enjoy reading, cooking and baking, I’ve gotten better over the years. Lately, over the last few years sex has been a hobby of mine. I enjoy binge watching TV shows and documentaries. Always enjoy learning new things. I have dark hair and eyes. I wear glasses, I'm 5’5, I feel I look my age, and I have one son.


FME: How would you describe your gender, sexual orientation, and relationship orientation?

I would describe myself as a bisexual woman who is “relationship wise” monogamist but “sex wise” polyamorist, if that makes sense?

FME: You currently live with...?

When we moved here, we moved into a rented apartment together. We do not have roommates or anything like that, only we both live in this apartment. When we did, we were already a couple for two years.


FME: What was your childhood like? What about your sexual awakening?

Just a regular childhood I guess. I was always told marry the person you love, which I did with my ex husband. Sex wasn’t really discussed. I was just told to be careful as such; only do it with people you care about and with protection. My sexual awaking was probably the first time I was with my son, actually. I realized my orientation when I was 18, before I met my husband. It was called experimenting at the time but I knew there was more to it



FME: How did sexual affection become a part of your relationship with your son?

I was with his father in a loveless, sexless marriage. For the longest time I was unhappy but just didn’t do anything about it, until one night my husband was working away again and I just felt that when he'd get back, I’d telling him it’s over. He must have felt it as well, so it would be better for the pair of us that we have a divorce.

I was crying and upset in my room. My marriage was over, I was 45 and feeling extremely unattractive, and hadn’t felt sexy in years. Yes, there was relief in leaving my husband, but the thought of meeting someone new seemed unlikely. At that time, I just felt that I wouldn’t ever feel physical love with someone again.

My son, who was 19 at the time, could hear me crying and came in to check on me. He asked me what was wrong and I just explained everything to him. It came flooding out of me; the unattractiveness, the lack of sex, the thought of never being with anyone again, divorcing his father, being single.

He listened to every word. Once I finished, we were very close together sitting on my bed. He told me that I was beautiful, that he thought I should have left his father years ago. He could see I was unhappy and that I deserved better, that at 45 I would still meet someone, that I was young enough to have another relationship and that any man would be lucky to have me.

I couldn’t help smiling, blushing, and feeling good about myself as he said all those things. I think if it was any man in front of me saying those things, I would have kissed them right there. As it was my son, I hugged him as tight as I could. After a few moments of us hugging, I kissed him on the lips, not overly sexual, but the kiss lingered on more than it ever had before. We both pulled back, looked at each other and without saying a word, we kissed again, not as mother son, but as lovers.

I felt him lean me down on the bed, kissing me while on top of me. We didn’t say a word. We just kissed like I had never kissed before. He started to touch my chest over my top, and it was more arousing than anything I'd felt before. We undressed each other and had intercourse. Having him ejaculate inside me sent me over the edge.

We smiled silently at each other. We hadn’t said a single word during sex; just the grunts and moans of fantastic lovemaking. We didn’t talking about it for a week or so after.

FME: Can you describe your feelings about it after it happened?

I didn’t feel guilt but there was something I felt. Maybe embarrassed. I thought maybe he wished we hadn’t done it; that it would never happen again. We tried our best to be normal, but we needed to talk about it. There was a lot of staring, looking at each other to make the first move. With his father taking all his stuff from the house, there was a thrill from me that he didn’t know.


FME: Before this had you ever thought this would be possible or enjoyable?

I never thought about it at all before this, not once. Incest wasn’t even a thing I ever pictured with me or anyone. I was misinformed I guess.


FME: How do you describe the lovemaking now?

It’s one-hundred percent the best sex I’ve had. Depending on the mood, it has been lovemaking, sometimes its been sex and others pure f---ing. It always turns me on knowing he’s my son inside me. I have done many things with him for the first time, including threesomes.

FME: Did the other person know of your relation?

The first one didn’t know. We didn’t want to take the risk. Plus, it was very arousing knowing he didn’t know.


FME: The first one? So there was another?

Yes there have been two. At first, the second guy didn’t know, but he does now. Now he thinks it’s hot.


FME: He didn't think it was weird?

Not weird. He was just confused at first.

FME: Does anyone else know?

No one knows offline except this current person. I’m confident no one suspects. I can’t see why they would. I'm in touch with people online who know. 

FME: Describe your relationship now. Is this a marriage, a union, family-with-benefits, what? Are you mostly mother and son, or lovers, or are those two roles inseparable at this point?

We aren’t married for legal reasons but we think of ourselves as husband and wife. We are both a couple in love and a mother son. We are celebrating six years together. Absolutely, those roles as family and lovers are inseparable.


FME: Have you taken steps to protect your privacy?
We haven’t really taken any steps. We're just taking it easy, making sure we don’t risk anything when opportunity arises.

FME: Do you think there advantages to a relationship like this?

Yes I do! There’s just that maternal bond, that love that "tabooness." I’ve never been addicted like I am with him.

FME: What do you want to say to people who disapprove of your relationship, or disapprove of anyone having this kind of relationship? What do you want to say to those who say he can't consent?

I would say we’re consenting adults who are in love. He was 19 when we started. Not once did I think about him that way before our first kiss.


FME: If you could get legally married, and that included protections against discrimination, harassment, etc., would you?

One-hundred percent we would.


FME: What advice do you have for someone who may be experiencing these feelings for a relative or family member, especially a mother or son?

Consenting adults is a must! But have to talk about it and be careful. It’s not a step you can come back from. Patience is important.

FME: What advice do you have for family members and friends who think or know that relatives they know are having these feelings for each other?

Be more understanding and accepting. The connection and bond is real. The addiction of that love is real. Just two consenting adults.


FME: Any plans for the future?

I'm very close with another mother online. We're hoping to visit soon.

Hopefully, we can move to a more friendly legal environment. 

FME: Anything else to add?

Thank you for the opportunity speak up.

*****

Clearly, these lovers are consenting adults who aren't hurting anyone, practically married in every way except the law, and yet they can't even exercise their basic human right to marry. They are happy and in love, yet they are denied that fundamental right to marry. They can't even be open about their love!

Why should they be denied their rights? There’s no good reason.We need to recognize that all adults should be free to be with any and all consenting adults as they mutually consent, and part of doing that is adopting relationship rights for all, love freedom, including full marriage equality, sooner rather than later. People are being hurt because of a denial of their basic human rights to love each other freely.

You can read other interviews I have done here. As you'll see, there are people from all walks of life, around the world, who are in consanguinamorous relationships.

If you are in a relationship like this and are looking for help or others you can talk with, read this.

If you want to be interviewed about your "forbidden" relationship, connect with me by checking under the "Get Connected" tab there at the top of the page or emailing me at fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com.

If you know someone who is in a relationship like this, please read this.

If you are considering getting into a relationship like this, read this.

Thank you to Natasha for doing this interview! We wish you both well in your intergenerational consanguinamorous relationship.