Tuesday, September 6, 2016

Another Woman Denied Her Right to Marry

This blog has featured scores of exclusive interviews with lovers are denied the freedom to be open about their love and are, by law, denied the freedom to marry and have that marriage treated equally under the law.

The woman interviewed below is bright, attractive, and clearly able to consent to her relationship. She and her lover should be free to decide whether or not to legally marry. Yet they could be criminally prosecuted and face other forms of discrimination if the wrong people found out about their relationship. They are consenting adults who aren't hurting anyone; why should they be denied their rights?

Read the interview below and see for yourself what she has to say. You may think this relationship is interesting, or it might make you uncomfortable, or you might find it incredibly sexy, but whatever your reaction, should these lovers be denied equal access to marriage or any other rights?


FULL MARRIAGE EQUALITY: Tell us about yourself.

ChloƩ: I was born in Montreal, Quebec, Canada. I am 30 years old, female and I work as a dental hygienist. I have an older sister and a twin brother. I was married for about 2 years; now divorced.

FME: What is your sexual orientation and relationship orientation?

I am bisexual and a polyamorist. I've had many relationships with men and women.

FME: What kind of childhood did you have?

I had a really good childhood. Going to hockey games with my dad, cooking with my mom. Grew up in the suburbs. It was perfect.

FME: Describe your sexual awakening.

My sexual awakening started in my early teens. Sex was rarely discussed with my family. The only thing I remember them telling me and my sibling was to practice safe sex.

FME: Do you have main or primary relationship?

It's with my twin brother, and no one knows about it.

FME: You live with...?

I currently live with my brother. We sleep in the same bed, but I have a separate bedroom as well.

FME: How did things start with your twin?

My brother and I were always close. As kids we would always hug, cuddle and kiss. As puberty hit and hormones raged, making out became more aggressive, and our hands were all over each others bodies. The process itself was gradual, but I think we both knew are relationship was going to be more intimate. We stopped ourselves a few times before we finally gave in and had sex.

FME: What did that feel like?

It was a mix of excitement and nervousness.

FME: Is this family-with-benefits, boyfriend/girlfriend, or what?

I would say our relationship is very much like a girlfriend/boyfriend one.

FME: Did you have an opinion about consanguineous relationships before this happened?

I really didn't give much thought about it. It was only after my brother and I started our relationship that I read about other consanguineous relationships.

FME: Do you have these feelings for any other family member?

I do have a bit of a crush on my dad. He and I have spent a lot of time together throughout the years. So we've always shared a close bond. Whether or not I'll act on my feelings remains to be seen. 

FME: So you've had to keep the relationship secret from everyone?

I fear that if it was exposed it wouldn't turn out well.

FME: Are you able to act like lovers in public?

I try to show some restraint. My brother, on the other hand, tends to get a bit touchy/feely at times.

FME: That's a disadvantage, not being able to be together naturally in public, isn't it?

I wish we could be open in public as a couple. But it's very much a closed door type of thing. Besides the relationship with my brother, I've had to hide a few. A lot of the men I've been with were much older.

FME: Do you think consanguinamorous relationships have an advantage over other relationships?

Absolutely. Growing up and knowing each other definitely helps. There's a lot of love and trust there. We both know what we like and don't like.

FME: What do you say to people who oppose these relationships?

People who are against it really need to find their own business. Couples like my brother and I aren't hurting anyone.

FME: If you could get legally married, would you?

If we could I would definitely marry my brother.

FME: Do you have advice for anyone considering a relationship like this?

Take it slow. Make sure the sibling is consenting. Don't force yourself. Just remember for anyone in a consanguinamorous relationship: you're not alone.

FME: Any plans for the future?

Nothing set in stone. We may have children in the future.

FME: Anything else to say?

Just thank you for the interview.


There you have it. They are consenting adults who aren't hurting anyone and yet they have to keep their relationship a secret or face discrimination and denial of their rights simply for loving each other. They are happy and in love, yet they are denied their fundamental right to marry.

Why should they be denied their rights? There’s no good reason.We need to recognize that all adults should be free to be with any and all consenting adults as they mutually consent, and part of doing that is adopting relationship rights for all, including full marriage equality sooner rather than later. People are being hurt because of a denial of their basic human rights to love each other freely.

You can read other interviews I have done here.

If you are in a relationship like this and are looking for help or others you can talk with, read this.
If you want to be interviewed about your "forbidden" relationship, connect with me by checking under the "Get Connected" tab there at the top of the page.

If you know someone who is in a relationship like this, please read this.

Thank you to ChloƩ for doing this interview! We wish you well in your consanguinamorous relationship.
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1 comment:

  1. Thank you both for this interview. I support the rights of ACI and polyamorous couples to live legally together and to marry if they want to. Re- marriage I think the most important reason for legal marriage is probably to make sure of the legal protections that marriage may provide to any children born from the relationship; however some kids regard regard church and state weddings today as over-rated and unnecessary as they don't want to tie themselves in a legal bind that it might be hard to extricate themselves from later on if the relationship sours.
    But a piece of paper might be handy if a child comes unexpectedly. However a piece of paper certifying that they are married doesn't prove anything, even that they are in a sexual relationship. If only relationships, and marriages with love and intimacy could last as long as marriage certificates can:-) University degrees are another type of paper with a limited shelf life.


To prevent spam, comments will have to be approved, so your comment may not appear for several hours. Feedback is welcome, including disagreement. I only delete/reject/mark as spam: spam, vulgar or hateful attacks, repeated spouting of bigotry from the same person that does not add to the discussion, and the like. I will not reject comments based on disagreement, but if you don't think consenting adults should be free to love each other, then I do not consent to have you repeatedly spout hate on my blog without adding anything to the discourse.

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