Sunday, September 18, 2016

Lesbian and Bisexual Women and Polyamory

Kathy Belge takes “A Look at Open Relationships for Lesbian and Bisexual Women.”

No two people in an open relationship are the same, but some lesbian and bisexual women get into polyamorous relationships because they want to experience sex outside the relationship. The reasons vary. One partner might have a higher sexual drive than the other. One or all of the people in the relationship may want to explore BDSM, which sometimes involves sex parties and sex and play with other people. Sometimes women who are bisexual choose to be in open relationships so they can continue to have sex with both men and women. Others just don’t believe that monogamy is right for them and polyamory is works better.

I would say it is often more than “to experience sex outside the relationship.” It is often also about other forms of intimacy and emotional support, as well as companionship.

No two polyamorous relationships look the same. Some people choose to have one primary partner and have sexual relationships outside of that partnership. Sometimes all three parties are involved with each other. Each configuration has boundaries and structure. For example, one couple might decide that it’s okay to have sex outside of the relationship, but that romance and dates are not okay. Others may be involved in sexual and romantic relationships with more than one person. Other times bisexual women who are married to men have an agreement with their husbands where they are allowed to have relationships with other women, but not with men.

For open relationships to work, they be consensual and there be trust and excellent communication.

She lists several great resources.

It is good that monogamous lesbian and bisexual women are getting the right to marry, but polyamorous lesbians and bisexuals should also have their right to marry the persons they love. For that, we need full marriage equality.
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