Friday, May 19, 2017

It Is Important to Distinguish Sex From Assault

Since this post will be talking about assault, I hereby provide a TRIGGER WARNING for those dealing with the trauma of sexual assault.

It's very important for children to be taught about molestation, sexual harassment, sexual assault, and more inclusively, consent. Children need to know that significantly older minors or adults should not be violating their boundaries and nobody should be coercing them into exposure, contact, etc. Teaching that can't be left up entirely to their parent(s) because some parents simply won't do it and because others are abusing their children. While billboards addressing these topics might make some people uncomfortable, these messages are important to impart.

Jeff Schweers covered this at
Motorists travelling south on U.S. Highway 19 into Perry in recent months could hardly miss the giant billboard.
Instead of the smiling faces of guys and gals drinking beer, the billboard broached a societal taboo. It depicted a cowering teen girl, accompanied by the slogan “She’s your daughter. Not your date.” Red letters proclaim, “We’re calling out incest.”
This another example of why we use the term consanguinamory. Child abuse the opposite of consenting adults loving each other. "Calling out incest" is great... if we're talking about molestation or assault. Unfortunately, the term "incest" also applies to consensual, healthy, loving relationships between some adults. So the distinction needs to be made. As shocking or disgusting as some people find it, there are adult daughters, some of whom were raised by another man, who eagerly date their fathers. There also daughters who date their mothers, sons who date their mothers, sons who date their fathers, and siblings who date each other. Their situations, whether recreational or deeply romantic, should never be lumped with abuse, especially child abuse.
That message was part of a campaign by Refuge House of the Big Bend. It didn’t sit well with some folks on Taylor County’s economic development board. They wanted the sign taken down. 

“It became controversial from an economic development standpoint because of a restaurant chain looking to locate in Perry,” said Malcolm Page, a farmer and Taylor County Commissioner on whose property the billboard was located. “The economic development folks said they didn’t want to come into the county if this is the welcome sign.”
So are billboards never supposed to address these topics?
Rather than identifying Perry as a community where incest occurs, the billboard and posters demonstrate a community taking a stand against this crime and voicing support for the survivors, Baldwin said.
Just like consanguinamory, molestation and assault happen everywhere, unfortunately. Again, distinguishing the two different things is important. Consent is what matters. One person acting on another without their consent is a huge problem. Adults (or minors close to age to each other) mutually involved in recreational sex or loving each other through sex is shouldn't be criminalized  anywhere nor discriminated against.
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  1. Thank you. Incest is not always abusive, but so many do not understand that. A new term is needed.

    Liz Smith

  2. It'd be great if Consanguinamory was added to the dictionary and the definition be as follows "Consensual relationships between adult family members." Incest should only be used when referring to cases of abuse.


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