Wednesday, April 1, 2015

A Quick, Positive Explanation of Ethical Nonmonogamy

At we get an "Ode to Polyamory" by Magdalene Bedi...
The standard expectation for relationships in America is a rigid cycle of dating, commitment, monogamy, and marriage. Deviation is considered abnormal and pitiable (such as the single spinster/cat lady trope).
Yes, that may be the expectation, but how many of the supposedly monogamous relationship are actually monogamous?
A choice separate from monogamy is thought to be unhealthy or a sign of irresponsibility, which leads many to actively seek out marriage and commitment even if they otherwise wouldn’t (a possible contributing factor to divorce rates).
Many people have felt pressured into promise monogamy when they really had no business doing so. But let's note that marriage and commitment are not actually the same as monogamy. You can have both of those things without monogamy.
What many don’t realize is that polyamory isn’t restricted to a man with multiple wives or girlfriends. It can be a single person in four different relationships, three people in a relationship with each other, etc. and it’s not restricted to specific genders or gender roles.
Right. Polyamorous relationships are very, very diverse in both structure and how they've lived out.
Polyamory, which can be defined as “the state of being in love or romantically involved with more than one person at the same time,” can be just as emotionally fulfilling as a standard, monogamous relationship. So can open relationships, which generally entail only one romantic relationship but multiple sexual relationships.
I'm so glad that polyamory and open relationships were not equated. Some polyamorous relationships are closed, some are open. Many people in open relationships are committed to social and legal monogamy and would not describe themselves as polyamorists.

Generally, it is very good general, surface explanation that there are ethical alternatives to monogamy. It is good to see more and more articles like this. Increasing awareness is very important to reaching full marriage equality.
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