Sunday, March 16, 2014

Polyamory is Rising, Solidarity is Best

This piece at asks, "Is Polyamory the New Same-Sex Marriage?" It starts with the rise in visibility of polyamory, then gets very strange...
The idea of not only tolerating but encouraging what we’ve been socialized to see as the worst possible betrayal of a partner is certainly jarring — even if a committed relationship survives what we see as “infidelity,” it’s considered one of the literal worst things an adult human can endure in their lives.
Say what? This is not cheating. If a polyamorous person is in a committed relationship, polyamory involves the agreement of the other person(s) in the relationship. And, sometimes, their participation. This is an entirely different dynamic than cheating.
The issue is a sticky one, threatening not only to create a ton of legal and societal quandaries,
Sounds like Discredited Arguments #2, 11, and possibly 12, 13, and 14. Adaptable laws are already in place.
but also — if we’re being honest, if someone curmudgeonly — undermine the shaky and tenuous gains made by the marriage equality movement.
That's like saying rights for Latino Americans undermined the gains made by the racial equality movement. Equality just for some is not equality. The polyamorous or polygamous freedom to marry is part of full marriage equality just like the same-gender freedom to marry is, and sometimes they overlap as some LGBT people are polyamorous. Solidarity will help, not hurt, LGBT monogamists.
After all, didn’t opponents of same-sex marriage loudly predict that “polygamy” would soon follow, with men seeking to marry multiple wives once the institution of marriage was “destroyed” by extending the rights to our gay brothers and sisters?
Although broken clocks can be right twice a day, bigots who make such statements should be met with "What's the harm of letting adults marry any and all consenting adults?" Marriage equality strengthens marriage; it doesn't destroy it.

The piece ends with...
It seems polyamory is destined to present a redux of the same-sex marriage debate, and will shape up to be the same exhausting fight. But at the end of the day, are we arguing about whether to admit and accept a long-practiced thing, and does legal recognition make any change in how people choose to live their lives going forward?
It really isn't complicated. An adult, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, race, or religion, should be free to share love, sex, residence, and marriage (and any of those without the others) without prosecution, bullying, or discrimination.

The polygamous freedom to marry, and acceptance of polyamorous people, will come about faster.
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