Thursday, July 1, 2010

For Those Who Need Help After Trauma

It’s rather simple, really. Consenting adults should be allowed to do what they want in private personal relationships. Nobody should force themselves on anyone. That is assault, abuse, or rape. Children can’t consent to sex and if an adult or a child who is significantly older engages in sexual activity with them, it can be traumatic and a crime. Yes, that last bit gets a little murky as different places have different ages at which someone is considered old enough to consent to sex. But the generally principle is that adults should not exploit children.

If you’ve experienced such trauma or exploitation – if you’ve been or were assaulted, molested, abused, or raped – and you’d like help, there are people who can help.

The Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network is one helpful organization. I understand why they include “incest” in their name, but really, not all incest is bad – only incest that is rape or abuse, such as when a father molests his 12 year-old daughter, or when one sibling drugs another sibling for the purposes of assault.

Abusive incest by a parent or older sibling is often considered an especially egregious category of sexual abuse, because parents and older siblings are supposed to be protectors. There’s a community called Survivors of Incest Anonymous.

These things are about violence, control, hate, and power, and are a far cry from loving and beneficial sex between consenting adults, including family members. We should never let people use the bad as an excuse to prevent the good. Even therapists.
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