Decriminalizing Genetic Sexual Attraction

This is necessarily a long essay, and I apologize, but I’ve heard so many arguments before that I want to deal with them preemptively.

In many places, certain acts of affection between close genetic relatives are still a crime, regardless of all involved being consenting adults, regardless of their backgrounds. This includes when the adults have experienced Genetic Sexual Attraction (GSA).

The fact is there are people who are happy together, in every way, who were brought together through GSA. The main problem in the relationship is the discrimination, often codified in laws that include the possibility of criminal prosecution, against their relationship. There are other people who are experiencing GSA who, for any number of reasons, do not want their relationship to become sexual, or remain sexual if it has already become sexual. Both of these groups, and the other people who love them and depend on them, would benefit from decriminalization.

The first group would be free to live their lives.

The second group would be more able find effective help and support.

Women Aren't Bargaining Chips In Business Deals

Whether you like it or not, most of us no longer live in a world in which men trade their daughters in arranged marriages that are little more than business deals. Unfortunately, laws still lag behind progress and some exist based on this model of marriage.

Now, women are people, not property.

Now, marriage is primarily a romantic matter, and even if based on finances, is up to the potential spouses, not their father, brother, or uncle.

Marriage used to be a business deal between clans, and a woman's sexuality was part of the deal, which is why women had to have sex with a man, just one man in particular, and of course that man was going to be from a different clan (but the same race) and could be older than her, but not younger. This is why royals often had consanguineous marriages; there were no other nearby clans that could provide a fair "trade."

For the most part we don't think like that anymore, but some people still apply such thinking to relationships and marriage.

If marriage is based on love, if it is up to the consenting adults who are the potential spouses, and if it is a fundamental right to marry or not marry, then there is no good reason to ban interracial, same-sex, polygamous, or consanguineous marriages.

Someone can think it is weird or disgusting or something they would never do, but a woman, like a man, should be free to marry another woman, or more than one woman, or more than one man, or men and women, or a younger man, even if that younger man is her genetic son she gave up for adoption ...as long as all spouses are consenting adults, it is nobody else's  place to try to stop them. Anyone who says that a woman shouldn't be free to marry the adults who mutually agree is saying she should be a bargaining chip, traded in business deals by her father or brother or uncle.

Not only should she be free to marry the adults who mutually agree, but her sexuality should be her own whether she marries or not. She should be be free to share sex and/or residence, married or not, with and all consenting adults, even of the adult is someone of a different race or her genetic father, so, brother, or aunt.

Again, someone might be shocked by the idea, or be against it, but it shouldn't matter. If someone doesn't want such a relationship, the good news is that they don't have to have one. But there's no good reason they should have any power to stop someone else from being with the consenting adults who mutually agree.

If there are two or more adults who want to be together, whether or not that includes sex,  cohabitation, or marriage, then shouldn't they be allowed to live their lives without prosecution, bullying, or discrimination? It seems to us that we should be encouraging people who want to be together to do so, considering how much strife and animosity there is. We can't force people to like each other, but if they do, we should not try to force them apart.

Multiplying Taboos

This blog is here to advocate for the rights of all consenting adults to be together how they mutually agree. Included in that is supporting ethical or consensual nonmonogamy. Unfortunately, because of lingering laws and prejudices about consanguinamory, many people can't be open about their attractions and experiences; cheating, which we do not advocate, can happen in such a negative environment as people do not feel free to discuss things openly and honestly with their partners, or anyone else for that matter. Again, we don't advocate cheating, but we recognize that some consanguineous sex does happen in the context of cheating. Still, there are things we can learn about relationships in general and consanguineous relationships especially by interviewing people who have had such experiences.

The man interviewed below is married to a woman and having a longtime secret affair with their biological daughter.

In much of the world, including all but a couple of US states,both the father and daughter could be criminally prosecuted for this, not for the cheating, but for having sex with each other.

Read the interview below and see for yourself what this man has to say. You may think his relationship is interesting, or it might make you uncomfortable, or you might find it ideal, even highly erotic and romantic; you might find the cheating to be unacceptable. But whatever your reaction, should this be a crime? If their spouses were agreeable, shouldn't they be able to be open about their relationship and even marry? Also, notice that aspects of the relationship are common to consanguineous relationships that don't involve cheating, too. We don't condone cheating, but even a relationship that involves cheating can help give an understanding of the dynamic of consanguineous relationships, as this is happening everywhere.


WARNINGS: Mildly explicit sexuality and cheating. 


*****

FULL MARRIAGE EQUALITY: Describe yourself.

Anonymous Father: I'm in my mid 50s, white, and an engineer. My hobbies include running, cycling, 3-D auto CAD design, first edition books and wine making.

Equality., Life, Liberty, and Happiness

July 4 is Independence Day in the US, considered our country's birthday. Connected to the day is the Declaration of Independence, which touts equality and notes that we have the rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

When the Declaration of Independence was written, equality was reserved for white, landowning, heterosexual, Christian males. Great strides have been made to extend equality to everyone else. As we know, equality just for some is not equality. In recent times, we have seen many pro-equality court rulings and laws, including the Supreme Court ruling for the nationwide limited monogamous same-gender freedom to marry.

More people are coming out of the closet, and more allies are coming out in support of equality. More people are getting married, and now we have more polyamorous and polygamous people speaking up for their rights.

But we’re still on our journey. Equality, liberty, and the right to pursue happiness are, in many places in the US, and at the national government level, still denied to LGBTQ people. Even more so, these rights are denied to the polyamorous and the consanguinamorous.

Let’s keep moving forward so that an adult, regardless of race, religion, sexual orientation, or gender, is free to pursue love, sex, residence and marriage with any and all consenting adults, and not be denied liberty, employment, housing, or anything else.

This isn't just a philosophical thing or a principle. There are people, good people, who are hurt by ongoing discrimination, prejudice, and ignorance. There are people just being themselves, hurting nobody, and people who are in loving, healthy relationships who are being denied their rights, who have to hide who they are or their love for each other, who constantly endure people proclaiming that the love they share is sick or disgusting or makes them worthy of being subjected to abuse or death. There are teenagers who have simply behaved as normal teenagers with each other and haven't hurt anybody (including each other or themselves) who are being lied to and told that nobody else is like them and they are depraved. That's no way to have to live, it certainly isn't liberty, and it squashes the pursuit of happiness.

They need to know they are not alone, and there's nothing wrong with them.

We need independence from hate and ignorance. So let's keep evolving America, and encourage other countries to do the same.

The Dynamics of Cousin Relationships

Cousin relationships are on the edge of the issues addressed by this blog, facing somewhat less prejudice than relationships of closer relatives. Widely different laws from place to place and much ignorance and prejudice linger even as many places accept these relationships. In about half of US states, genetic first cousins (your parent's sibling's child is your first cousin) can legally marry. There are a few states with laws against consensual sex between first cousins, including North and South Dakota, Utah, Texas, Nevada, Kentucky, and Mississippi. The states that neither marry nor criminalize will generally allow first cousins to be together without marriage, as second-class citizens. There is much confusion and ignorance about these matters, so even people who are generally educated might not be aware that first cousins can legally marry, or might be unaware that people are actually thrown into prison for loving each other.

In the US, there is a false notion that marriages between first cousins in a Southern thing, but the varying state laws do not support that idea. Rather, these relationships exist in every region and in every class.

Journalist Looking For Participation and Can Protect Anonymity

This journalist, who has proven trustworthy in the past, is looking, first and foremost, for people who've experienced reunion Genetic Sexual Attraction, especially between a woman and her father. She is also interested in other GSA situations and consanguinamorous relationships that aren't GSA-initiated. She can protect your identity and you can even be anonymous to her, if you insist. 

I'm a reporter/writer based in New York working on a book that includes a chapter about genetic sexual attraction. I'm primarily focusing on a relationship between a father and daughter, exploring the history of the term GSA, and the role of the internet for community and support. I'm trying to talk to as many people who have experienced GSA as possible and I'd like to hear your stories. If you do talk to me I can protect you privacy 100% (I rely on anonymous sources for a lot of my work so it's very important to me and something I take very seriously.) If you are interested you can email me at alexatreay@gmail.com and we can take it from there.) And please ask me as many questions as you like to help you make up your mind.

Visibility matters. When journalists document and publish accounts in a way that isn't negative, it helps a lot. So please consider participating if you have experiences you can describe to her.

Happy Father's Day

Sunday is Father's Day.

For all men raising or helping to raise a child, whether you are a biological father, presumed father, grandfather, stepfather, bonus father, adoptive father, foster father or any variation… Happy Father’s Day!

A special thanks to fathers who have supported and loved their children who are LGBTQ, polyamorous, consanguinamorous, or have otherwise faced persecution or oppression because of who they are or the person(s) they love.

Finally, a note of encouragement to all fathers who can’t legally marry the person(s) they love, but would if they could, or who face bullying due to love or who they are: We will win so that every adult can pursue love, sex, and marriage with any consenting adults.

Oh, and if you have an especially interesting Father's Day, or are planning something special, tell us about it by commenting below.

Another Inquiry About Mothers and Sons Having Children

Got another question on Tumblr the other day about mothers and son, particularly about when they have a baby. Here it is, along with my answer.

Ecuador Advances!

Good news! Ecuador is making progress.

Let's keep moving forward so that in every country, an adult will be free to marry any and all consenting adults!

Happy Loving Day

June 12 is Loving Day! We celebrate the Loving family, and the victory of Loving v. Virginia, which helped advance civil rights in general and the freedom to marry.

Let's keep moving forward to full marriage equality so that an adult is free to marry any and all consenting adults!

The Two Main Paths to Consanguinamory

There are two main paths to consanguinamory, or the objective reality that at least two closely biologically related people have sex, and perhaps an ongoing romance or marriage-style relationship. While the prejudiced may dismiss all consanguinamory as the same (in their small minds) inexcusable behavior, the differences in these paths do have an impact on the participants and those around them. This is why people who are on one path may not understand those on the other, or want to be associated with them.

One main path to consanguinamory is reunion Genetic Sexual Attraction (GSA). This is a term that has been used to describe an extremely intense attraction that may occur when close biological relatives get into each other's life any time after puberty either for the very first time, or the first time since the youngest went through puberty. These situations are likely to increase due to increased human mobility and the high rates of co-parents who do not stay together. Whether a marriage that involved at least one child ends in divorce, or a one night stand results in pregnancy, or anything between, biological parnets who have a child together may go their separate ways, often going on to have more children with others. These situations are also likely to increase due to increase in the use of donated eggs, sperm, and embryos to have a child. In addition to the various forms of adoptions, some governments, such as some states in the US, allow someone to bring a newborn to a hospital, police station, fire station, etc, and surrender custody of the child with no penalty.

As you can see, there are many situations in which close relatives, such as full or half siblings, or a parent and child, can be reunited post-puberty.

Nebraska County Moves Ahead With Wasting Public Resources on Oppression

Here's an update to something we last covered in this posting. From omaha.com...

Travis Fieldgrove, who had sex with a woman who was both his wife and his daughter, was sentenced Thursday to two years in prison.

Two years in prison for consensual activity with another adult. Sex with another adult! What a waste of public resources. There is no good reason for this.

Hall County District Judge Mark Young issued the sentence, with credit given for 121 days already served. As a practical matter, Fieldgrove, of St. Paul, Nebraska, will serve 144 more days in jail. 

Young also added 12 months of post-release supervision. During that time, Fieldgrove, 40, is ordered to have no contact with Samantha Kershner, 21.

I don't see how Judge Young can't feel silly about this at best, and more appropriately, ashamed. Perhaps the judge believes the ridiculous laws allow him no choice?

According to a court affidavit, Grand Island police officers spoke to Fieldgrove and Kershner in September after receiving a tip about their relationship and allegations of incest. Both admitted that they were having a romantic and sexual relationship.

Once the police realized it was consensual, they should have stopped wasting public resources on this.

Public resources in Nebraska are being spent to oppress adults for loving each other! This is outrageous. The laws need to be changed to support the rights of all adults to have the relationships to which they mutually agree, including their right to marry.

Fortunately, the vast majority of consanguinamorous relationships are never criminally prosecuted.