Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Compersion Is Exciting

Rosebud Baker at has an essay headlined with "I Asked My Boyfriend to Sleep With Someone Else, And It Was Fantastic For Both of Us."

She starts out explaining that she and her boyfriend of three years have fantasized about nonmonogamy, which is a very common area of fantasy, but they've done something that not as common, but by no means rare... actually opening up their relationship.
Being that we were both brand new to the idea of opening up our relationship, we sort of went into the whole thing holding hands. He chose someone on Tinder and sent me screenshots of her profile for approval. I made sure to set some very clearly defined sexual boundaries, most importantly that our “third party candidate” knew about me and the agreement that my boyfriend and I had. The night of, he texted me before he left to meet her, when he arrived at the destination, and when the deed was done.
All very reasonable and good things.
From the moment I brought up the idea, the chemistry between us had intensified and the morning after the whole event felt as though it was reaching boiling point.
Experimenting and exploring can be exciting.

She goes on to define and describe compersion, which she felt.

Our sex life since then has been unstoppable. Girlfriends have asked me, “Don’t you feel jealous?” and the answer is yes, but I’m not afraid to feel jealousy, and the enthusiasm I have for what he experienced is somewhat of an antidote to it. I feel everything and when I speak up about what I’m feeling those less-pleasant feelings have sparked a conversation that has deepened our connection, which improves our sex life, which improves our communication, and so it goes. It’s a fantastic cycle.
Sounds wonderful.
I’m not interested in restricting my relationship by labeling it, but if I was forced to do so, I would call what my boyfriend and I have “Open Monogamy,” meaning that every day we wake up and choose one another, and if either of us feel like choosing something or someone else, we open ourselves up to the possibility.
Monogamish can be applied.

So far, it seems to be working out well for them.

The whole point of this blog is that adults, regardless of their gender, sexual orientation, race, or religion, should be free to have the relationships they want with ANY and ALL consenting adults, whether those relationships include sex, romance, cohabitation, marriage; all of the above, some of the above, or none of the above. Whether they are asexual, strictly monogamous, or in an open relationship, or swingers, or polyamorous, or... whatever... that's not something that should be subjected to prosecution or discrimination or should deny people their right to marry.

Does Rosebud's situation sound familiar or remind you of something you've been through or witnessed, whether good or bad? As always, you can leave a comment below/
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