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Wednesday, February 17, 2010

A Few Examples of Love

One of the websites I link to is Genetic Sexual Attraction. That phrase is used to describe the attraction that related individuals – usually full or half siblings, or a parent and child – develop when they are reunited after years apart, often while the child or the siblings matured. However, I do not think a long separation is a necessary factor in GSA. That is a discussion for another time.

For now, I wanted to call your attention to this discussion, in which couples who are siblings or parent/child (adult) describe their loving relationships, and some of the prejudice, judgment (and, thankfully, support!) they experience.

The discussion was kicked off by someone asking in anyone there is actually “making it work” as a sibling couple. She related her own story:

I have recently told my parents about my brother and I and their reaction was...that they knew something was going on but didnt want to say or really believe it. Their reaction is surprisingly positive. Other than them my best firend is the only one to know and she is very supportive because she has seen me in other relatinships and says I have never been more secure or happy then now.

That is wonderful.

Other people can think as they wish and since we live away from anyone who knows we are related we are doing really well.

It is too bad that someone would have to move away from home to be able to freely love.

Someone responded:

I do not live with my sibling but with my father. It takes strength to make it work and confidence in who you are as individuals and a couple. There are constant ups and downs but if you strongly believe in what your relationship stands for and the right as consenting adults to love then you can make it work.

We live together united in the care and upbringing of our wonderful daughter.

I wonder if anyone around them knows and what the reactions have been?

A third person said:

My sister and I have been living as a couple for going on three years now. Our situation is probably not appreciably different from any other couple's. We have our ups and downs, the occasional disagreement about what to have for dinner, or whether to get beer or wine; the occasional anxiety about money, the odd pang of jealousy... but because we deeply love and trust each other, we are able to get through any of the downs, and make up in luxurious fashion.

Isn’t that beautiful?

To our friends, family members, and respective co-workers, we are brother and sister, sharing a little apartment to save on rent in a difficult economy.

It is too bad they can’t be out with the rest of their family.

I keep imagining, years from now (when our relationship is finally "legal" in our state) "coming out" to our friends and family, and them telling us that they've known all along.

I know there are other people out there who have been through a similar process because they loved someone of the same gender, and had to deal with oppression and hostility, and unjust laws. I hope those people will see that this is the same struggle and offer their public support. Their experience would be most helpful.

A fourth person wrote:

My brother and I have been living together as a couple for over 4 years now, and as far as anyone round here is concerned, we are a "normal" couple.

There are people doing this all over the world. These people are normal. They could be your co-workers or neighbors.

A fifth person wrote:

I wish this was possible for me... my brother and I are extremely well-known and recognizable in certain countries and while I think I have been successful at skirting rumours and gossip until now, I would be terrified of being publicly outed in the media or in my professional community (or perhaps society tends to turn the other way in these kinds of matters??

Unfortunately, people still need to be enlightened.

A sixth person wrote:

Jenny and I live as a married couple too. Our mother knows and has accepted it, though she doesn't like the idea. Our father is gone now and we never told him. He probably suspected.

Acceptance is not as good as support, but it is certainly better than rejection.

We have been living together as husband and wife since college and we couldn't be happier. We get long very well most of the time. We have our annoying moments as all couples do, but that is just how life is. We live to be together, to please each other and make each other happy. Making each other happy fulfills us and makes us whole. I couldn't imagine life without my beautiful sister with whom I can share it. She is my life and my treasure. She's my sweetheart, my sweet girl, my sis, my best friend, and my lovely wife. Some people can't understand living as we do, but we can't imagine it any other way. We will be together always.

How can this still be illegal in so many places? They should be able to get married, and celebrate their marriage in public.

These are examples of why I support marriage equality. Full marriage equality. I wish we could see these relationships documented or depicted more in the popular media, which too often focuses on abuse and lumps these loving relationships in with that.
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2 comments:

  1. Thanks for this blog and effort, glad I finally found some one ready to share a time with a man who's only gilt love his love happens to be his half sister

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi, I am a radio producer based in Johannesburg, South Africa. This Friday, we would like to discuss Genetic Sexual Attraction on the show and I was hoping to get some help from people who have experienced, so that we could have a conversation that is sensitive to the realities of the experience. I would be very grateful if you could direct me to relevant reading material, give me suggestions of possible questions and themes and if anyone is willing, share your experience with us on the radio. Our show endeavors to be a safe space for all participants and we would not allow anyone to face any kind of abuse whilst sharing their story. My personal email address is tusinin@gmail.com and work is nolwazit@702.co.za please get in touch if interested.

    ReplyDelete

To prevent spam, comments will have to be approved, so your comment may not appear for several hours. Feedback is welcome, including disagreement. I only delete/reject/mark as spam: spam, vulgar or hateful attacks, repeated spouting of bigotry from the same person that does not add to the discussion, and the like. I will not reject comments based on disagreement, but if you don't think consenting adults should be free to love each other, then I do not consent to have you repeatedly spout hate on my blog without adding anything to the discourse.

If you want to write to me privately, then either contact me on Facebook, email me at fullmarriageequality at yahoo dot com, or tell me in your comment that you do NOT want it published. Otherwise, anything you write here is fair game to be used in a subsequent entry. If you want to be anonymous, that is fine.

IT IS OK TO TALK ABOUT SEX IN YOUR COMMENTS, BUT PLEASE CHOOSE YOUR WORDS CAREFULLY AS I WANT THIS BLOG TO BE AS "SAFE FOR WORK" AS POSSIBLE.