A Cousin Considering Marriage Writes in to Dear Abby

A recent divorcee who is contemplating a new marriage possibility wrote as SECRET LOVE IN THE SOUTH to Dear Abby...

We bonded when he contacted me to offer support after he heard about my divorce, and it was love at "second" sight. Why "second"? Because we grew up together -- literally next door -- and he's my first cousin.

Despite the societal taboo, it is legal in my state for first cousins to marry, and genetic issues with offspring aren't a concern. We're both sterile and have no ability (or desire) for more children.

There's no reason why this should be a problem for anyone.

My siblings suspect and aren't pleased with the situation. His parents know and are happy for us.

There's no good reason for the siblings to have a problem with this.

How do we break it to the rest of the family? The world? People can be so judgmental, even though in many parts of the world it is perfectly normal to marry your cousin.

The rest of the family probably knows already. Since this wouldn't be a first marriage, perhaps it could be a smaller ceremony? Since there is no legal issue, I'd announce it in the same way you would if it was someone who isn't a close relative. If other people have a problem with it, then they don't have to come to the wedding, right? 

Abby advised slowing down a bit. Thankfully, she didn't express anticonsanguinamorous bigotry.

Of course there are some terrible comments from prejudiced bigots. It's a good thing this letter made the column, though. We need more representation of consanguinamory. Let consenting adults marry!