Life isn't neat and tidy.
Even though there has been much pressure to force people into a heteromonogamous, single-race (but not consanguineous!) marriages and parenting in "nuclear family" homes, the majority of families don't stay with that construct indefinitely.
Some parents don't marry, some divorce, some are widowed, some remarry, sometimes three or four generations are in the home, sometimes sons or daughters don't leave home until well into adulthood, if at all, sometimes they leave and come back, sometimes aunts and uncles live in the home, sometimes it's a home of a polycule, sometimes it's a couple of gay men, sometimes a couple of lesbian women, and on and on and on. There are adoptive homes, foster homes, homes with renters, homes with friends who live there, a bunch of roommates, on and on the variations go.
The point of this is that there may be someone in your family who could use some help raising their children, for so many different reasons, and it may be helpful if you lived together.
Especially if there is no other parent involved, it could be helpful if you could be designated as another parent to the child or children. Things that might help can include:
1) Being listed as another parent on any official paperwork.
2) Officially adopting the child or children.
3) Being married to the other parent.
There are sociologists who insist that it is best for a child to have parents married to each other, living in the same home. If that is true, isn't that another reason we should have full marriage equality? If a woman finds raising her children with her sister, mother, father, or brother, or a man finds raising his children with those family members to be the best option, why should they be denied their right to marry, if that's what they want? A single mother, for example should be free to marry her sister or brother, and that other sibling should be able to adopt the children, if that's what is wanted. This should be the case whether the siblings have a sexual or romantic relationship or not.
Wouldn't that be what's best for the children, if the adults want that?
Even though there has been much pressure to force people into a heteromonogamous, single-race (but not consanguineous!) marriages and parenting in "nuclear family" homes, the majority of families don't stay with that construct indefinitely.
Some parents don't marry, some divorce, some are widowed, some remarry, sometimes three or four generations are in the home, sometimes sons or daughters don't leave home until well into adulthood, if at all, sometimes they leave and come back, sometimes aunts and uncles live in the home, sometimes it's a home of a polycule, sometimes it's a couple of gay men, sometimes a couple of lesbian women, and on and on and on. There are adoptive homes, foster homes, homes with renters, homes with friends who live there, a bunch of roommates, on and on the variations go.
The point of this is that there may be someone in your family who could use some help raising their children, for so many different reasons, and it may be helpful if you lived together.
Especially if there is no other parent involved, it could be helpful if you could be designated as another parent to the child or children. Things that might help can include:
1) Being listed as another parent on any official paperwork.
2) Officially adopting the child or children.
3) Being married to the other parent.
There are sociologists who insist that it is best for a child to have parents married to each other, living in the same home. If that is true, isn't that another reason we should have full marriage equality? If a woman finds raising her children with her sister, mother, father, or brother, or a man finds raising his children with those family members to be the best option, why should they be denied their right to marry, if that's what they want? A single mother, for example should be free to marry her sister or brother, and that other sibling should be able to adopt the children, if that's what is wanted. This should be the case whether the siblings have a sexual or romantic relationship or not.
Wouldn't that be what's best for the children, if the adults want that?
This is another example of why the denial of full marriage equality needs to end. We need full marriage equality now.
Statistically, a relationship between two siblings on good terms will have more stability than with potential stepparents from outside the family.
Are you helping to raise your nephews or nieces or grandchildren? Might it be helpful if you were allowed to marry their parent?
![Non-Monogamy Diagram [I:FV]](http://www.obsidianfields.com/lj/nonmonogamy2.5.1.gif){kind=link}
I was an only child a long time. My parents did not have much physical intimacy while I was growing up. When I was in late teens, I went to attend college in another city and I guess something sparked between them again in my absence and after few months they gave me the news that they are pregnant again. I was shocked and embarrassed. Avoided contacting them, didn't go back home even during vacations, blocked their numbers. They had one daughter and son afterwards. But 5 years later my dad died and I moved back with my mom and younger siblings, I got a job and started helping her raise the kids. Practically becoming their dad.
ReplyDeleteI would definitely step in to help raise my sister's children and become a parental figure to them and also a husband to my sister if this situation occurred.
ReplyDelete