Wednesday, September 13, 2017

For Consanguinamorists Considering Parenting

At this blog's sister Tumblr, I was asked anonymously about the health children from consanguineous parents, why there is a taboo about this, and what advice I have for a mother and son having a baby.  My answers, which I'm cross-posting here, mostly apply to any consanguinamorous parents.

Most children born to close relatives are healthy, though there are some increased risks, as there are when the mother is older.

This has been covered extensively here:

The taboo about pregnancies between close relatives is tied to the taboo about consanguinamory. First, many people expect that everyone should feel exactly as they do and they are repulsed by the thought of sex with their close relatives; secondly, they’ve been told it’s wrong and they’ve never actually thought it through; thirdly, as much as they may try to deny it, there are some people for whom it is a matter of envy or latent feelings of their own.

This has been covered extensively here:

My advice to a mother and son who want to have a baby, if they really want to raise a baby (which is a very big decision for anyone) is:

1) If you’re not already living where consanguinamory isn’t criminalized, consider moving to such a place. In the US, there are currently two states for parents and their adult children: Rhode Island and New Jersey:

2) Consult with a family law attorney. Don’t tell the attorney you have a sexual relationship. Rather, ask the family law attorney about the possibilities of both of you being legal parents to a child for the purposes of co-parenting. Ask about the possibilities when it comes to a child born of the mother (putting the son on the birth certificate immediately probably isn't allowed or advisable) and one that is adopted. If you can’t actually both be legal parents, there may be some paperwork that will create a situation where it is almost as though you are.|

3) Speaking of adoption: consider adoption. It may be that only one of you can legally adopt the child. If that’s the case, figure out who would be best to be the legal adoptive parent. While most children born to close relatives are healthy, with adoption, there may be more of a possibility to know what health issues a child has before you become their parent. But more importantly, a child conceived by both of you is considered strong evidence of consanguinamory, although in some places you can claim you used “in-home artificial insemination” to conceive the child (although laws are always changing and some criminalize that, too).

4) Get prenatal care for a high-risk pregnancy. In an ideal world, you could be completely open and honest about the child’s conception, but that might not be the case where you live due to certain mandatory reporting laws. However, the age of the mother alone is likely to make this a higher risk pregnancy.

On the flip side of this question is what can be done if someone is very late in their pregnancy, and they either don’t want to raise the child or their concerns about raising the child (self-incrimination, life situation, or general concerns about being able to parent) override their desire or willingness to raise the child. US states have various “safe surrender” or “safe haven” laws that allow the baby, if not abused, to be handed over anonymously to personnel at designated locations (such as hospitals, fire stations, etc.) Laws vary from state to state, including how long someone has to hand over the baby, so check here: This would allow someone who has become concerned about their baby being used as evidence against them to avoid prosecution.

For more about living in a consanguinamorous relationship, check these links:

How to Pull Off Living With Your Consanguinamorous Partner(s):

What To Tell The Children:

How Consanguineous Lovers Can Protect Themselves:

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