Make 2019 a Year of Progress

We're making progress. Let's speed it up!

Every adult on the planet should be free to live out their gender identity, sexual orientation, and relationships.

Every adult who has found another consenting adult who wants to marry them should be free to marry.

People should free to do these things without fear of criminalization, bullying, or other forms of discrimination.

Let's move equality, kindness, fairness, and respect forward.

Happy New Year!

The Kardashians Appearing to Be "Incestuous" Is Nothing New

We've been over this before.

It gets a lot of attention when famous people talk about or touch their family members as if there is something sexual between them.

I am positive that there are celebrities who have experience with consanguinamory, including some who want nothing more than to live with their close relative(s) as spouses. But they're likely to avoid calling attention to that, because of the negative reactions, and ridiculous criminal laws that still exist in some places.

Happy Holidays!

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah (belated), Yuletide Greetings, Solstice Salutations (slightly belated), Happy New Year, and Happy Holidays!

Whatever holidays you celebrate(d), or even if you don't celebrate any, We wish you a fabulous season full of warmth and love.

May you and your loved ones have peace, health, and happiness.

I plan to update this blog as I can over the holidays, so keep checking back. Or better yet, subscribe in the column over there on the right if you haven't done so yet.

As a reminder, if you need someone to talk with or you just want to say hello to Keith, you can do so, as always, by emailing fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com or message him on Wire at fullmarriageequality or on Facebook.

UPDATE: Jane is creating consanguinamory-themed cards. 

When Polyandry is Natural

Many monogamists and some polygynists and even a few polyamorists will assert that polyandry isn't natural. It is Discredited Argument #5 and at thealmagest.com I found another example of polyandry in nature.

Researchers at Bielefeld University and the Technische Universität Braunschweig are the first to confirm the benefit of multiple paternities for a vertebrate under completely natural conditions. Together with their team, Dr. Barbara Caspers and Dr. Sebastian Steinfartz have shown that female fire salamanders mate with several males under natural conditions (so-called polyandry). This grants them fitness-relevant benefits by increasing their number of offspring. The results of their study are being published this Friday (29 November) in the Early View version of Molecular Ecology.

Since humans have sex for many reasons, not just reproduction, it can have other benefits in humans.

Jane Offers Considerations for Coming Out Consanguinamorous

Jane added this to her blog today.

Here’s something that was posted on this blog.

Have you ever come out or been outed by someone as consanguinamorous or involved in a consanguineous relationship? Have you discovered or realized someone else was engaging in consanguineous sex? You can comment below, and if you prefer you can do so anonymously (as always).

Jane Rips an Unjust Prosecution of Consenting Adults

I'm glad Jane got to this one before I could. She perfectly explains the injustice and absurdity of prosecuting an adult for having consensual (to be redundant) sex with another adult.

These laws, where they still exist, are doing terrible damage to the lives of people who aren't hurting anyone.

The Great Tumblr Logoff

Starting at midnight this morning (Eastern Standard Time), countless Tumblr users logged off to avoid using Tumblr for at least 24 hours. Some will never return, at least not unless Tumblr revises their new restrictions, in effect as of today.

Tumblr hosts blogs and allows for easy following of other blogs and reblogging of entries. It was purchased by Yahoo years ago, and, as a result, is now part of Verizon's corporate empire. Probably for advertising purposes and to comply with new laws in various countries, a sweeping ban of material that could be considered "adult" was announced, even though people could already mark their blogs as being "Not Safe For Work" and thus people who didn't want to scroll through such content could avoid it.

Other services have been scrambling to handle the influx of new accounts of "Tumblr refugees" and at least one new service has started specifically to be a place to "rescue" Tumblr blogs by importing them.

For the time being, this blog's sister Tumblr blog, which, like this blog, is intentionally "Safe For Work," will continue on Tumblr as long as it is allowed. Unfortunately, it is likely that hundreds, if not thousands, of the over 11,000 followers we've connected with there will be gone. But we will stay there as long as we're helping people there.

It's sad to see communities, especially where marginalized and oppressed people have found friends and support and reassurance, broken up. Traffic at Tumblr will undoubtedly shrink significantly. Will enough new users join up to offset the defections? Probably not. It is also unlikely petitions and protests will get a full reversal of Tumblr's new terms, but perhaps there will be a revision.

A link to our Tumblr blog will be added to this post after the day of protest ends.

The Ethically Nonmonogamous Are Everywhere

Laken Howard wrote about non-monogamous relationships in the US at bustle.com...

When it comes to dating and relationships, there's no one 'right' way to do things.

That's a great way to start this article. People need and want different things, and more importantly, have different things to offer others. One size does not fit all.

Due in part to the sex-positive attitude of many Millennials, people in open or polyamorous relationships have been able to be more outspoken about their romantic lives than they might have been in generations past. Sure, the stigma around non-monogamy has not entirely faded, but curiosity and polite interest in something is much better than outright intolerance in my book.

For sure!

According to a study published in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, one in five Americans has participated in an open relationship of some kind.

Some polyamorous or polygamous relationships are not open. They are ethically nonmonogamous.

New to This Blog or Looking to Find Out More?

We support the rights of an adult, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, race, or religion, to share love, sex, residence, and marriage (and any other union offered by law), and any of those things without the others, with any and all consenting adults, without fear of prosecution, bullying, or discrimination. These are basic human rights and it shouldn't matter who is disgusted by the relationships of other adults or who doesn't understand why the adults would want to be together.

If you're viewing the desktop/laptop version, you'll see that over there in the column on the right you can find ways to connect and to follow this blog, and at the top of the page are tabs with drop-downs of some important pages, entries, and links. If you're viewing a mobile version, many of the links are below.

You are welcomed and affirmed here regardless of your gender, sexuality, or relationship diversities, and whether you are looking for more information, are in the closet or out about your gender, sexual orientation, or relationship, or want to be an ally. Are you here because of polyamory or polygamy? Perhaps you're here because this blog covers Genetic Sexual Attraction or consanguinamory (consensual incest) or because you think or know your partner has been involved? Do you need help? Whether you're a family member or friend who is looking for more information, or a journalist, or are someone who is looking to help the cause, we hope you are helped by what is here.

There's an About This Blog page, and you can read about the triad who originally inspired this blog.

There's a Glossary so that you can become familiar with terms frequently used here.

We explain why we need solidarity in supporting full marriage equality and we debunk all the arguments that you'll ever hear made against equality, so if you're against equal rights, please carefully read through that page.

On the Case Studies page we feature interviews with people who have been denied their rights, so you can "meet" people who are, or have been, in consensual loving relationships who have are harmed by the lack of equality under the law.

This blog is a labor of love. There's no advertising and we don't accept monetary contributions. Want to help? Spread the word. If you are a lawyer, attorney, or someone who works with a legal group or law firm, we'd like to hear from you if you are supportive. Also, this blog DOES accept content submissions (Keith can be contacted at... fullmarriageequality at yahoo dot com), but makes no offer, implicit nor explicit, of compensation nor guarantees that it will be used. If you want to tell your story, that would be very helpful to others!

Tell us what you think by commenting or by contacting us.

Join our Facebook group "I Support Full Marriage Equality."

Keith wants to be friends with all who support full marriage equality and relationship rights for all adults. Be Facebook friends with Keith.

Follow the Twitter account for this blog.

Follow the Tumblr blog for Full Marriage Equality

The Final Manifesto is another excellent blog.

If you don't want to connect, still feel free to send Keith a note at fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com

Myths about Genetic Sexual Attraction
Ten Myths About Sibling Consanguinamory
Bad Reasons to Deny Love
Ten Reasons Why Consensual Incest is Wrong (Sarcastic) 

World AIDS Day

December 1 is World AIDS Day. It is very important to remember those we've lost to AIDS, to care for anyone battling AIDS, and to care for anyone with HIV.

We must continue to work for a cure and continue to fight the spread of HIV.

We should also never forget that stigmas, ignorance, bigotry, sex-negative attitudes and shaming have helped spread HIV and AIDS.

Let's continue to work for a better culture in which people aren't shamed and marginalized for their sexuality, nor stigmatized for getting sick.

Attention Outgoing State Governors

There are state Governors in the US who are rapidly approaching the end of their terms as Governor and will be leaving that office.

We are respectfully imploring you to use your executive powers to pardon any of your residents convicted of crimes due to having consensual (to be redundant) sex with an adult under anti-incest laws, whether they are currently in the justice system or not, even if they have since passed away,

Let's be clear. We're not talking about assault or child molestation. We're talking about sex between consenting adults (or between minors close in age to each other), still criminalized in your states. The laws should be changed, but since they haven't been yet, please have mercy on these people.

This plea is directed at the following Governors:

Matt Mead - Wyoming
Scott Walker - Wisconsin
Bill Haslam - Tennessee
Dennis Daugaard - South Dakota
Jerry Brown - California
John Hickenlooper - Colorado
Dannel Malloy - Connecticut
Rick Scott - Florida
Nathan Deal - Georgia
Butch Otter - Idaho
Bruce Rauner - Illinois
Jeff Colyer - Kansas
Paul LePage - Maine
Rick Snyder - Michigan
Mark Dayton - Minnesota
Brian Sandoval - Nevada
Susana Martinez - New Mexico
John Kasich - Ohio
Mary Fallin - Oklahoma

If we've missed an outgoing Governor, we apologize.


This plea is also directed at Governors of US territories: If you have the power to do so, pardon or at least commute the sentences of those listed as criminals due to consanguineous affections.

If you are the Governor or someone on the Governor's staff, or someone with access to the Governor, please act quickly to get this done. We know time is very limited.

There is no good reason these people should suffer any more for having had a physical relationship.

Let's stop wasting public resources on treating these people like they are a threat to anyone. If they were convicted of additional crimes relating to the investigation, their arrest, prosecution, etc., please consider pardoning them of those, too.

Do the kind, merciful, and just thing as you end your term as Governor. Get on the right side of history!

Please pardon!

Consanguineous Couples Wanted

Rarely do couples involved in consanguinamory have offers to tell their stories to a wide audience in a way that protects their anonymity and it done with a friendly producer. Of course you can always have the story of your relationship featured in text here on this blog, but the people behind a project we called attention to here also want to hear from you about having your story told via video.

From our friends working on that project...

I’d like to shoot a series of small video "vignettes"; quick interviews with adults who are in real life, day to day committed relationships with a family member.
The logistics of this would have to take place in the Midwestern US. We would have an iron-clad understanding in place that would protect everyone’s identity and that EVERYTHING would be strictly confidential. We can carefully build that trust by emails, texts, or whatever platform you are comfortable with. I know this will take time, and that’s something I am more than happy putting into this.

So if you're and adult in a romantic/sexual relationship with a consenting close relative and are willing to at least consider working with a friendly producer, contact Kirok via email: kirok411 at protonmail dot com

Transgender Day of Remembrance

Today, especially, we remember transgender people killed by hatred and ignorance. It's the Transgender Day of Remembrance.

For all transgender people reading this:

We value you. You are valid. You deserve to live your life free of prejudice, free of being attacked for who you are.

We are going to help make things better sooner rather than later.

Thanksgiving Time

This US national holiday always falls on the fourth Thursday of November.

Thanksgiving Day is a huge holiday in the US, centered mainly around a special family meal. In case you haven't noticed, Americans like to eat a lot. Since Thanksgiving is always on a Thursday, Friday is a holiday as well (at least as far as the government is concerned). Because Thanksgiving is considered to specifically be about family togetherness, it can be a painful time for those who have been rejected by their family because of their gender identity, sexual orientation, relationship orientation, or choice in partner(s). Some LGBTQ people, polyamorous people, and those in consanguineous, intergenerational, or interracial relationships are reminded every year that even their own family hates them.

Some people make the best of this and plan a Thanksgiving meal with friends. I throw out a special “good for you” to anyone who hosts such a meal this holiday. Keep up the good work. I think such gatherings are much more enjoyable anyway. If you don't have one to go to, consider hosting your own!

But I also have words for anyone who has driven away or banned someone in their family because of that other family member’s identity, orientation or partner(s): Shame on you. You don’t have to like your family member’s sexuality or how they live. But you should reach out to them and support them instead of driving them away. Every person at that table does things you don’t like. Why single out a family member for punishment because of who they love? If your family member has a partner whose family is more accepting, guess who is going to win? Guess who is going to get to play with any grandkids/nieces/nephews? Not you. Think about it. Maybe it isn't too late to make amends and have them over for this year's holiday. This might help.

If you can’t go “home” for Thanksgiving and you are feeling down and you haven’t managed to make plans with friends, consider hosting your own Thanksgiving and invite some friends. Or, volunteer at a homeless shelter or some other charity location that will be helping people that day. Don’t allow sadness or loneliness to take hold. You can find a place where you will be welcomed.

Do you have any special plans for this holiday week? Are you going to be coming out, or trying to start or rekindle something with someone special? You can comment (anonymously, if you'd like) below or write an email at fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com.

A Note From a Therapist

This was a comment left on the blog I wanted to highlight.

I am a psychotherapist who specializes in working with clients who struggle with "taboo" sexualized thoughts and behaviors. I'm currently working on research dealing with consensual familial intimate relationships. I offer online therapy as well as in-person and I accept most major insurance. I'm licensed in Georgia and Maryland. 

Keya Johnson, MSW, LCSW, CCTP, CSOTP 

therapist.keya@gmail.com

I communicated privately with this person and they do not discourage adults who are happily enjoying sexual relationships with other adults and everything along those lines stays private with them.

So please consider helping with the research, and if you need a therapist who won't automatically dismiss your relationships or desires, this may be someone for you.

We Will Win

It's very sad when we see reports, either personal and private or in the news media, of lovers facing persecution and prosecution for the "crime" of being closely related adults. The same "crime" can mean having their children taken from them. The ignorant and mean-spirited jokes and harassment are bad enough. Having your own government discriminate against you and treat you like a criminal because of sexual affection and love is outrageous. Still, lovers in the US and similar countries are better off than those in places on the planet where they could be executed.

The good news, though, is that we're making progress, the laws will be changed and we're going to win, and in the meantime, it is heartwarming to know that the overwhelming majority of people enjoying consanguinamorous relationships are never criminally prosecuted. While the mere existence of the discriminatory laws against consensual  adult relationships is a problem, it is a wonderful thing that most consanguineous lovers are never charged under the "incest" laws.

Whether you're an ally or a bigoted hater, like it or not, not far from where you are right now, is the passion and bliss of consanguinamory, with lovers sharing affection, and there's nothing that can be done to stop them. People of all genders, orientations, races, and classes are loving their close relative(s), snuggling up together, holding hands, kissing, having intercourse, expressing their care for each other in countless ways.

And no hater can stop them.

You have neighbors, friends, maybe someone in your family, co-workers, classmates, maybe a performing artist you admire, maybe your doctor, maybe your accountant, maybe the paramedic who helped you, maybe your bus driver, maybe one of your educators or students, who have experience with consanguinamory. They might still be involved.

And it is highly unlikely any hater will stop them.

Some of them may never come out to you. Some of them may never come out to anyone. It's their choice. Just like their sex life and relationships. Some will keep living happily as they have.
But the laws will be replaced by equality, and the prejudices will be rightly discarded to the ash heap of history. We're going to make that happen sooner rather than later, because there's no good reason to deny relationship rights to all consenting adults.

We will win!

Happy Halloween

Is it true what I've heard, that outside the US Halloween is no big deal? Halloween is October 31 and it is celebrated widely and diversely here in the US.

Do you have any special plans for Halloween? Have you done or will you do anything fun or interesting this year at a Halloween party or event?

Here in the states, the stores depend on Halloween to sell a lot of merchandise. There are parties, costume contests, what amounts to theatre in front of (and inside, sometimes) the homes of people as they try to scare or entertain neighbors and strangers with things ranging from silly to sexy, spooky to gory. In some places, kids (and often parents) in costumes go from door to door collecting candy or other treats.

Many amusement parks, ranging from small to the largest, do special entertainment in the weeks leading up to Halloween, and this is a favorite time of the year for movie studios to release horror movies, and for broadcasters to show ones from years past.

For some, there are religious or spiritual aspects to the day, and it might be called by other names.

Some interesting things can happen when people are having fun at costume parties, or cuddled up together watching scary movies.

So, as always, feel free to comment or share your stories.

South Carolina Still Prosecuting Consenting Adults

Jane covered this news but I had to examine it here, too.

From greenvilleonline.com comes this coverage of this terrible story...

LAURENS COUNTY — A father and daughter are charged with incest in Laurens County after a child was born, police say.

So we charge people with crimes now because of births?

Investigators in Laurens County were looking into an alleged sexual abuse incident when they learned that Katlyn Edwards had given birth to a child after being impregnated by her biological father, James Travis Brown, the Laurens County Sheriff’s Office said in a statement.

Consanguinamory shouldn't be a crime.

“During the investigation, we learned (Edwards and Brown) had been in a consensual relationship when she became pregnant,” the sheriff’s office said.

STOP. Consensual. That should have ended things.

According to the sheriff’s office, both Edwards and Brown claimed their relationship was “consensual and mutual” during investigators’ interviews. 

“Investigators also found other evidence to support their claim that the relationship was consensual,” the sheriff’s office said.

Are we clear that it was CONSENSUAL??? The problem is, people confess all of the time because they don't think consensual sex would be a crime, but it still is in some places. So don't talk! Use your right to remain silent.

I wonder what the evidence is? My guess is either texts or video. Be careful, lovers!

Edwards was arrested on Monday without incident and taken to the Laurens County detention center. She is not currently listed as being jailed.

She shouldn't have been arrested in the first place!

The child died at a medical facility in Charleston, South Carolina, according to the statement. 

How sad.

“It is beyond my comprehension how this could take place between a father and daughter,” Laurens County Sheriff Don Reynolds said.

Really? How long have you been in law enforcement? This happens all of the time, especially in reunion GSA situations. We don't know if this was a reunion situation, but their surnames are different. That could be for any number of reasons.

“At this time, I can’t confirm the baby died from complications related to incest, however we wonder if that’s the case."

Most children born to these relationships are healthy. Most children born with serious health problems in the US don't have those problems are a result of consanguinity.

"We are working with medical professionals and the Solicitors Office regarding that aspect of the investigation and will update everyone if there are any additional charges.”

Since they don't mention murder or signs of abuse, my guess is he's talking about prosecuting them for, essentially, having a genetic problem. Well guess what? If people in consanguinamorous relationships could feel confident in being completely honest with medical professionals, it is less likely that children will suffer with health problems. So we need to stop arresting and discriminating against them and, instead, offer services and study them so we can help people.

The Sheriff's press release is here. You can leave a comment on it. I sure did.

People of South Carolina and Laurens County in particular: Stop putting people in jail for sharing love and sex. There is no good reason to continue to persecute consenting adults for loving each other as they mutually agree.

To the persecuted defendants: So sorry what has been done to you, especially after losing a child. If you can, move someone better as soon as you can. There are countries that don't treat adult lovers are criminals, and you will also not be criminalized in New Jersey or Rhode Island.

Urge Japan to Increase the Freedom to Marry

Like so many other places, Japan needs full marriage equality.

That includes the consanguineous freedom to marry. Fortunately, Japan doesn't criminalize consanguinamory. Unfortunately, consanguineous lovers are still denied their right to marry. 

There's a new petition that seeks to change that. Please consider signing this petition and spreading the link to others.

https://www.change.org/p/for-the-japanese-civil-code-to-allow-consanguineous-marriage

Dear Mr Takashi Yamashita 

Today, Japanese law permits consanguineous relationships but not consanguineous marriage. Incest between consenting adults is legal in Japan but Japanese law discriminates against incestuously oriented consenting adult (CIAO) people by prohibiting them from marrying, even if they have children. This is unfair and harmful. 

The Japanese Constitution promises equal rights and is interpreted to prohibit discrimination on all grounds, so why is it that CIAO people cannot marry ? CIAO people may have children and they need to be protected by the law and have the same legal rights as other children are who have legally married parents. CIAO people and their children should not be subject to social stigma or institutional incestophobia. They should not be deprived of rights that others have who are in consensual adult relationships: for example: the right to marry the person they love, and the right to have a mother and a father who are legally married to each other. 

Not all CIAO people may want to marry, but those who wish to marry should not be barred from doing so. To refuse to allow them to marry is a breach of their civil rights, and to treat them as different from other people is to discriminate against them. 

All people who believe in equality and human rights should support the rights of CIAO people to marry. 

Your help in this matter will be most appreciated. 

Thank you very much on behalf of CIAO people everywhere today and in the future. 

As the Minister of Justice, will you please initiate the reform of Japanese laws so that in future CIAO people who wish to marry are able to do so. 

Yours sincerely,Richard Morris

Make it so!

Others May Consent to Something You Wouldn't

I'm bumping up this good entry from a while back...

“Anonymous” left a comment on the post "Bigotry Expressed.” My response is below.

Thank you, Anonymous, for your thoughtful consideration and for comment.

I do not think she makes a good argument, because she expresses blanket certainty about diverse things about which she could not possibly be certain. There are adult children who are emphatic that they freely consent to have sex with a parent, some of whom claim to be the initiator, and others who would like to, but haven’t. It is their experienced word against her inexperienced word. Has she interviewed everyone involved and performed careful psychological analysis of each case?

If she had said that some apparently consensual cases could be the result of selfish grooming on the part of a parent, and explained that dynamic, then she would have a good argument.

“It seems pretty reasonable to presume that if a parent is having sex with their child, even an adult child, that the parent groomed the child into the sexual relationship.”

That may be reasonable to presume in some cases, but is a presumption that may or may not turn out to be true. Let’s assume the parent was a primary custodial parent. Is it impossible that a child could grow up having a healthy relationship with that parent, and after getting out of the home for college, the military, or any other form of establishing themselves, that adult child realizes that they have a sexual attraction to their parent? I do not think that is impossible. In addition, consider when the parent did not have primary custody or any custody, as is the case in so many Genetic Sexual Attraction cases.

We Get Haters on Tumblr

Come see for yourself.

Spirit Day

Thursday, October 18 is Spirit Day. Among varying activities, people wear purple in support of LGBTQ youth, against bullying.

Nobody should be bullied, harassed, or discriminated against because of their gender, sexuality, or relationship diversities or those of their family  members or friends.

Are you observing Spirit Day? Leave a comment telling us about it.

How You Can Help

Coming Out Day

Even with the US Supreme Court decision bringing all states online with the limited monogamous same-gender freedom to marry, and some recent laws enacted for the protection and rights of LGBT people in the US and other countries, life can be tough for someone whose identity and orientation doesn’t fit in to a little heterosexual, monogamous, "traditional"-gender-role box or whose relationship doesn’t meet the local sex police’s approved standards. Sometimes, a person or the people in a relationship want to come out of the closet. Sometimes they need to come out. For some of these people, it is a little less difficult if they do so as part of a communal event, such as National Coming Out Day.

National Coming Out Day is today, October 11. Here’s the official website, at least for the US. There is much helpful information there, regardless of where you live.

The more people that come out, the more the others around them will realize they do know and appreciate people who are LGBT, or polyamorous, or consanguinamorous, and that such people and relationships deserve equality. So coming out helps progress.

On the other hand, it is understandable that any given person, couple, triad, or quad decides to stay in the closet for now. There’s still so much hate, so much prejudice and persecution, and even unjust laws that hinder the life and love of people who are good citizens and just want to be themselves. I support the decision of anyone who believes they need to be reserved for now for the sake of their safety and family.

The decision to come out is yours. Do you want to come out, and to whom? Your friends? Your family? Your coworkers? Your classmates? Your neighbors? Your crush? The whole world?

Also, if someone comes out to you, the decision to be an ally is yours. If your classmate, coworker, neighbor, friend, parent, child, or sibling comes to you and says they are gay, lesbian, bisexual, polysexual, pansexual, transgender, polyamorous, or in a consanguinamorous relationship, what will you do? Will you choose love and acceptance?

Even if you are heterosexual, monogamous, and nonconsanguinamorous, you may want to come out as an ally for full marriage equality. That alone can take courage, but it helps.

If you are planning to come out, or you do come out, please feel free to share your experience here by commenting.

The Spice of Life

Monogamy isn't for everyone, and very few people only marry and have sex with one person throughout their entire life. If monogamy or serial monogamy is what works for you, we fully support that and support your rights to be monogamous.

In return, we hope you support the rights of others to be ethically nonmonogamous, especially since it is what is best for some and some are polyamorous as who they are.

Your personal feelings, boundaries, or convictions may preclude any form of ethical nonmonogamy for you, but that doesn't you need to put down others who are different. Thankfully, most of you don't. There really isn't any good reason that people who are nonmonogamous should be discriminated against.

We take a live and let live attitude around here, supporting everyone who just want to be themselves and have their relationships and to avoid trouble.

Whether someone is engaging in casual sex, swinging, swapping, threesomes, moresomes, hotwifing, cuckolding, an open relationship or open marriage, relationship anarchy, polyamory, polyfidelity, group marriage, plural marriage, or some other form of polygamy, as long as everyone involved is a consenting adult, that should be their business and shouldn't subject them to discrimination or bullying or prosecution. Same goes for some asexuals and aromantics who don't want sex or don't want romantic relationships. Let people do their thing!

Please feel free to comment with your thoughts and experiences regarding any form of ethical nonmonogamy, or write to fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com.

Bisexual Visibility Day

September 23 is Bisexual Visibility Day. 

To all bisexuals, especially our friends and readers, we see you. You are valid. You should have your rights and freedoms. You deserve representation. You should not be pressured to be closeted or to hide.

Mothers, Sons, and Children

Someone asked at this blog's sister Tumblr about mothers and sons having children.

This Is Exciting: Risk and Reward

There's a new project that you should know about as a Friend of Full Marriage Equality. "Risk and  Reward" is an upcoming movie to which you can contribute. Even if you can't contribute monetarily right now, you can help get the word out.

Follow the movie on Twitter and  retweet them.

Like the movie's Facebook page and share what it posts.

It is critical to support projects like this. Visibility, representation, solidarity, and opening minds are all needed to secure the rights of all adults to love each other how they mutually agree.

What About the Children?

Jane has released the results of her study on consanguinamory and reproduction. Kudos to Jane for yet another useful update!

The Love Overcomes the Hate

On this blog's sister Tumblr, someone asked if we get a lot of hateful messages. Go read the answer.

Why More Will Try Polyamory

Thanks to psychologytoday.com for continuing to feature good content respecting polyamorous families and individuals. Elisabeth Sheff, Ph.D had another good writeup there, titled "Fear of the Polyamorous Possibility." It is about why some people feel threatened by polyamory. [This entry is being bumped up.]

There are three common reactions, she says, to the realization that polyamory is a possibility. You'll have to click through if you want to read about those, but I wanted to note that she explains why there is the potential of a much larger percentage of the population having polyamorous relationships.

Among forms of sexual nonconformity, polyamory is unusual in that it could potentially be appealing to everyone who desires intimate relationships with other people. Most people are heterosexual, and it is readily apparent that not every one experiences same-sex sexual attraction or desire. In other words, not everyone has the capacity or desire to be gay, lesbian, or bisexual. Unless they are monogamous by orientation, however, most people in long-term relationships -- regardless of sexual orientation -- have had the experience of being attracted to someone else besides their partner. Almost everyone has the potential to be polyamorous in a way that many people do not have that same potential to be gay.

Just about anyone who has been in a long-term relationship, no matter how happy they have been in that relationship, has experienced a desire for, or daydream of, doing something with someone that might not be considered appropriate, and not because they want to betray or hurt the other person in the relationship, but because they find this "third" person fascinating, attractive, or they share something in common. It doesn't have to be sexual. It could be an emotional connection, or simply wanting to share some recreational experience. It could be going to a concert, or hiking and camping in a specific spot, a mutual interest in a style of dance or cuisine. Or, it could be entirely sexual, or romantic, or emotional. There are so very many ways that polyamory can be experienced, and many people who don't need polyamory can still want and enjoy at least a season in which they have more than one relationship, without lying or sneaking around.

Despite the claims of some bigots, adopting the same-gender freedom to marry and eliminating other forms of prejudice against LGBT people does not make one more person gay or lesbian. Removing discrimination against ethical nonmonogamy, and especially adopting the polygamous freedom to marry, will mean more people will enjoy polyamory, because you don't have to need polyamory to enjoy polyamory.

A New GSA Blog and Jane's Latest

Here's a new blog written by a woman in a Genetic Sexual Attraction relationship with her father.

Also, Jane has updated her blog with an entry about being on the consanguinamory spectrum in orientation but being in a "regular" relationship.

Women’s Equality Day in US

It’s Women’s Equality Day in the US: http://www.nwhp.org/resources/commemorations/womens-equality-day/10-ideas-for-womens-equality-day/


In that spirit we note that women, regardless of sexual orientation, race, or religion, should be free to share love, sex, residence, and marriage (and any of those without the others) with any and all consenting adults without fear of prosecution, bullying, or discrimination.

Involved Stepfamily Wanted for Television Show

Are you involved romantically and/or sexually with someone who is also your stepsibling or stepchild or stepparent? We know you're out there.

Someone wants to get you onto television. This is what they say...

*****

A TV production company is looking for a couple who are in a relationship and are also step-family, for a series about unusual relationships.

The show is very positive, and non-judgemental. The message throughout is very much is 'love is love.’

If you think you’d be interested in appearing (face identified), please contact
charley.sutton@barcroftmedia.com.

Thanks!

*****

As I frequently do, I'll remind you that there are certain risks involved (notice your face will be appearing) and someone else will control how you're portrayed. But visibility is important. People who are steprelations should be free to be together how they mutually agree without prosecution, bullying, or discrimination. And yes, in some places, it is illegal for certain steprelatives to be together. It's ridiculous, but true.

There are stepsiblings who are together. There are adults out there who are with their stepmother or stepfather. But will any of you take this opportunity assist with a television show?

Yes, It Happens

An anonymous question with doubt about it being a thing that young adults approach a parent for a first experience was answered at this blog's sister Tumblr.

Who Can Help With GSA in Europe?

A desperate comment was left after this entry on this blog:

"Keith, do you have any idea how or where in Europe can I come in contact with some licensed expert to attest to my defense in a pending case in front a jury? on the GSA condition? as I can not use a mail address please PUT IT HERE. RATHER URGENT. thank you"

It's sad this kind of thing is still an issue. I get private messages and emails with similar urgency. 

If anyone reading this knows of someone, please speak up or get in contact.

Hiding in Plain Sight

Most people who contact us who have experience with Genetic Sexual Attraction or consanguinamory do not want to have something specifically about them published on the blog. Others are featured in an interview. Rather than an interview, what is below is more of a monologue Anonymous gave me about her relationship and the backstory behind it. I would describe this as relationship that developed from reunion GSA.

There is no good reason people in these relationships should be criminalized or otherwise discriminated against. The prejudice against these relationships hurts people and causes problems.

Read for yourself what this woman has to say. Names have been changed to protect those involved...


*****

We've had to hide in plain sight for a long time.

Sons and Daughters Day

It’s National Sons and Daughters Day, at least here in the US. 

Do you have reason to observe or celebrate?

If you’re an ally to your son or daughter, or you have a double bond with them, comment below and tell us about it. You can comment anonymously or signed-in. 

Starting or Joining a GSA at Your School

Not only are school years a time for intense personal discovery and growth, but they are usually a time of intense pressures, including the pressure to conform, and bullying.

For those reasons, Gay-Straight Alliances, or Gender and Sexuality Associations, or Diversity clubs are critical.

If your school doesn't have such an organization, consider starting one. See here and here. As another school year ramps up, don't let your school be without such an organization!

If you school already has one, consider joining and/or supporting it. Student, faculty, and parental support are all needed.

Whether starting or joining, please do what you can to make the organization welcoming, inclusive, and accepting of all whose identity, sexual orientation, relationship orientation, or existing relationship (or that of their parents) makes them a target for discrimination or bullying.

Anticipation of Participation with a Sibling Relation

People in consanguinamorous relationships are everywhere, though consanguinamorists tend to be closeted. Fortunately, some are willing to be interviewed for this blog. As a result, Full Marriage Equality has featured scores of exclusive interviews with lovers are denied the freedom to be open about their love and are, by law, denied the freedom to marry and have that marriage treated equally under the law.

This is probably a first for this blog. This time, we're interviewing someone who is planning to inaugurate physical consanguinamory into their relationship.


*****

FULL MARRIAGE EQUALITY: Describe yourself.

Anonymous: I’m a 25 year old woman living in Tampa, Florida. I work as a hotel manager of sorts. I’m not there yet, but my boss sure does like to give me all the work related with the job title. I’m Hispanic and Jewish, which is not what most people expect, and my favorite hobbies are dancing, laying on my hammock, and yes it counts as a hobby, and watching soccer games just to hear the announcer say "Gooooal!" I like reading Russian literature, planting trees, Ikebana and collecting currencies of countries that no longer exist. 

Why Men Choose Polyandry

Ruth asked at a Big Internet Portal's question-and-answer service...

Why do men choose polyandry(a woman with multiple husbands)?
What's the appeal? Is their jealousy? How does sex work? Is it akward knowing that the other husband has had sex with your wife?I'd like to understand how polyandrous relationships work, especially from mens point of view. Could you handle your wife having another husband?

Why do men choose a monogamous marriage? Why do men choose not to marry at all? Why do some men choose a polygynous marriage, or a group marriage? It’s going to be different for different people, but you can find some common reasons that pop up frequently. It is a combination of needs and wants, including social, emotional, financial, sexual, etc.

A man may choose polyandry because he is bisexual, or because he enjoys seeing his wife with another man, or because his wife has a higher libido than he does, or for reasons that are entirely nonsexual.

You can see the very good Best Answer if you keep reading.

An Open Letter to Mackenzie Phillips

Dear Ms. Phillips,

Congrats on the role in Orange is the New Black. A recent article by Keryn Donnelly at mamamia.com.au about your role was headlined with what I call the "i" word, because it gets a lot of attention. In fact, almost all of the article was about your past, rather than what you're doing now as far as acting and show biz. Your longevity in show biz is quite impressive, especially considering what you've endured.. I do remember watching your earlier roles, and I'm glad you're on such an esteemed show.

Here's what the article, which I'm assuming accurately quotes you, contained that caught my attention.

Many members of Phillips’ family have not forgiven her for exposing her relationship with her famous father. When she released her book in 2009, some spoke out against her and claimed it was unfair she had come forward with these allegations when her father was not around to defend himself.

It seems to me you were unfairly attacked.

If you were abused, then it was your story to tell regardless of whether your abuser was still alive or not.

If you were not abused, it was still your story to tell and you spared your father undue attacks while he was still alive.

But let's continue...

But Phillips says she’s made peace with her past.
“I have to say that I loved my father, and I still do. I’ve been trying to come to terms with this very difficult past,” she told Winfrey.
“I can’t be the only one this has happened to. Someone needs to put a face on not only non-consensual incest, but consensual incest, and I know that I can’t be the only one who’s lived through this. So in finding this redemption, maybe I’m helping someone else.”

You are exactly right.

Someone needs to speak up about both these two very different things that are often conflated: abuse by a close relative and consanguinamory. They are two very different things. It is our contention that the stigma and even criminalization attached to consanguinamory hinders effective prevention and prosecution of cases of abuse. It is also unjust to interfere in the love lives of consenting adults.

Because of your book and subsequent interviews, you've probably heard secrets people have, both about abuse and about consanguinamory. You've probably heard such secrets from celebrities and from fans, maybe even complete strangers you just happened to encounter.

Maybe you should be involved in raising awareness? Or maybe you just want to connect with people who don't lump all sexual activity between close relatives into the abuse category. Please feel free to reach out. As with anyone else who contacts me, I never share what someone tells my privately (even with their own lover) unless they grant me permission to do so.

I can't know for sure if your physical relationship with your father was abuse, consensual, or a mix of both. I'm not even sure if either of you could know for sure, given the mind-altering substances you both were using. I do reject the assertion that some people make that any sexual relationship between an adult and their parent is abuse by the parent. I do know that there are adults who do have consensual sex with family members, whether on a recreational level or a spousal level. I have seen it myself. Whether you were abused by your father or you consented to and initiated everything, it makes little sense for anyone to attack you about it. The attacks can be abusive!


People often cite a power differential as to why such relationships should not be considered consensual. It is Discredited Argument #20. Where does the power differential end when it comes to parent-child? Is it different between father-daughter, mother-son, mother-daughter, and father-son? What if the parent is 50 years old and the child 33? What if the parent is 70 and the child 53? What if the child was raised by someone else? Why not just let consenting adults do what they want when it comes to sex?

Thank you for saying what you did. If that's as far as you'll go with this, that's fine. However, I would welcome your contact, encouragement, or general support in helping to make consent clear, and honored. Abusers need to be stopped. And nobody should be rejected by family or abused, especially by their own government, for consenting to love, sex, residence, or marriage with a close relative.

You are welcome to join our forum under a screen name, where you can compare your own experiences to those of others.

-Keith Pullman of Full Marriage Equality

National Sisters Day

Apparently it is National Sisters Day.

So, to all of you sisters out there, happy you!

As always, feel free to comment with appreciation for your sister.

We've heard from, and about, some wonderful sisters since we started this blog, including sisters who are allies and sisters who are lovers.

Northern Ireland Needs Full Marriage Equality

Northern Ireland is the only region of the UK that doesn't even have the limited monogamous same-sex freedom to marry. This is currently making news.

Like the rest of the planet, Northern Ireland should get full marriage equality so that an adult, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, race, or religion, will be free to marry any and all consenting adults, without fear of prosecution, bullying, or discrimination.

We Get Hate Mail - UPDATED

In our latest bus sighting, an anonymous comment came in to this blog’s sister Tumblr. The comment and response are here.

UPDATE: Jane has shared her reaction.

We Get Questions

I answered a bunch on Tumblr.

We're on Tumblr, Too

In case you don't already know, this blog has a sister blog on Tumblr. Sometimes, we answer submitted questions, like this one. Take a look and bookmark us, follow us, whatever works for you.

Equality, Life, Liberty, & Happiness

Today is Independence Day in the US, considered our country's birthday. Connected to the day is the Declaration of Independence, which touts equality and notes that we have the rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

When the Declaration of Independence was written, equality was reserved for white, landowning, heterosexual, Christian males. Great strides have been made to extend equality to everyone else. As we know, equality just for some is not equality. In recent times, we have seen the death of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" for military service and we saw the burials of Prop H8 of at least part of DOMA, followed by many pro-equality court rulings ever since, now made even better with the Supreme Court ruling for the nationwide limited monogamous same-gender freedom to marry.

More people are coming out of the closet, and more allies are coming out in support of equality. More people are getting married, and now we have more polyamorous and polygamous people speaking up for their rights.

But we’re still on our journey. Equality, liberty, and the right to pursue happiness are, in many places in the US, and at the national government level, still denied to LGBT people. Even more so, these rights are denied to the polyamorous and the consanguinamorous.

Let’s keep moving forward so that an adult, regardless of race, religion, sexual orientation, or gender, is free to pursue love, sex, residence and marriage with any and all consenting adults, and not be denied liberty, employment, housing, or anything else.

This isn't just a philosophical thing or a principle. There are people, good people, who are hurt by ongoing discrimination, prejudice, and ignorance. There are people just being themselves, hurting nobody, and people who are in loving, healthy relationships who are being denied their rights, who have to hide who they are or their love for each other, who constantly endure people proclaiming that the love they share is sick or disgusting or makes them worthy of being subjected to abuse or death. There are teenagers who have simply behaved as normal teenagers with each other and haven't hurt anybody (including each other or themselves) who are being lied to and told that nobody else is like them and they are depraved. That's no way to have to live, it certainly isn't liberty, and it squashes the pursuit of happiness.

They need to know they are not alone, and there's nothing wrong with them.

We need independence from hate and ignorance. So let's keep evolving America, and encourage other countries to do the same.

We Get Angry Letters

In a recent entry we pointed out that adults having their basic rights isn't child abuse. To that, we got an angry comment. Like and comment with expletives, we won't be printing it unedited, but we wanted you to see the reasoning being used.

You are full of s---!! Adults are children... and at different stages of life they become more children like. Adults abuse other Adults and manipulate for their own good and purpose when the abuser has been abused as a child. When an adults has had trauma in their childhood life they don't have a clear mind nor scene of what is being spoon feed to them from the abuser, because the abuser is so good in doing the abuse as an adult to many other weak and traumatize adults. For the abusers benefit.  

But if both adults are with out trauma in childhood life and knows as a child that they are different and think differently and still in the adult life feel the same way then it should be okay. But that way only.

The entry was about how adults having their rights isn't abusing children.

All adults were children before. Does this comment mean they are now, as adults, incapable of consenting to their relationships because they used to be children? Or does that only apply to people who were traumatized as children, or does it also apply to traumatized adults? How much is too much?

Abuse, including "grooming" a minor, is not what we're talking about here. And if an adult is incapable of consenting to relationships because of trauma or any other condition, that's something else as well. On the other hand, it is cruel to automatically say that anyone who has been traumatized in the past can't consent to a relationship now. In general, adults should be free to have the relationships to which they mutually agree. There is no good reason to deny such basic rights.

Allies Are a Thing

One of the most ridiculous charges against people advocating for relationship rights for all, including full marriage equality, is that they themselves must be involved in a relationship that is being discriminated against, or is taboo or forbidden. It’s ridiculous for more than one reason.

First, it is trying to smear the person by accusing them of... having relationships with other consenting adults. Oh, what terrible people, right? Loving other people! How awful!

But it also denies that there are allies who show solidarity for the rights of others, thus revealing how selfish and self-centered the person making the “accusation” is. “Why else would you spend time on this?” they might ask, even as they themselves put energy into perpetuating prejudice.

There were many people of all races, not just of African ancestry, people who’d never been enslaved, who called for the abolition of slavery in the UK and US, and demanded civil rights subsequently. There were people who weren’t women who demanded women have their right to vote. 

Whether or not someone has done something themselves, such as being in a relationship that is being discriminated against, or was born a certain way or not is irrelevant to the facts. Denying consenting adult their basic rights is destructive and unjust. It didn't make Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.'s call for equality any less valid because he was an African-American, nor were the whites who marched with him African-Americans (clearly!) The message was important and just.

Nobody who argues for or against execution for people convicted of murder has been murdered or executed. Nobody who argues for or against euthanasia has been euthanized. Clearly, it is possible for a person to advocate against discrimination even if that person hasn’t been discriminated against. It's called... caring about people.


There are people being hurt by right now by discrimination, some of it still enshrined in law. This is why we care. This is why we advocate for the rights of an adult, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, race, or religion to share love, sex, residence, and marriage (and any of those things without the others) with any and all consenting adults, without fear of prosecution, bullying, or discrimination. You don’t have to be suffering yourself to support the rights of all. You don’t have to be aware of the people in your life who are being hurt in order for you to fight for equality. And we guarantee there are people in your life who are being discriminated against because of their orientation or relationship situation. So, if the only way to get you to care is to tell you the discrimination hurts people you love, well, know that!
 
Be an ally, not a bigot.