An Additional Perspective on Mothers and Sons

 

If you're a regular visitor to Full Marriage Equality, you are familiar with the many interviews posted here with people who are in, or have been in, "forbidden" relationships. This time, we present an interview with someone who has extensive knowledge of, and experience counseling people regarding, familial affection, especially between mothers and sons. He brings his own, distinct perspective.

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FULL MARRIAGE EQUALITY: Describe yourself.

David: I'm a 50 year old Asian American man, college and self educated. Heterosexual. I'm both employed and self-employed. I am a spiritualist but I have also explored many religions and I have great respect for people's faiths in what I do. I have multiple income streams. I currently reside in the Western United States. 

What Better Time Than The Stroke of the New Year?

Have you been waiting to make a move?

Is there someone you’ve wanted so badly to kiss? (And maybe do much more with?)

For some of you, there’s no better time to do it than the stroke of the New Year, when midnight hits and 2024 becomes 2025.

Of course, this assumes they’d welcome a kiss, and it requires you actually be the same place as them.

If neither of you are problem drinkers, some bubbly might help and be appropriate. Maybe some leftover mistletoe?

Keep things pleasant and fun as midnight approaches.

Then, when everyone’s excited, take your chance when you can.

Kissing at the turn of the year or the moments just after is common even between people who’ve never kissed before: people who are already in relationships, friends, family. This could be your chance!

If you want someone to discuss your plans with you, contact Keith via email at fullmarriageequality protonmail dot com or on the Wire messaging app at fullmarriageequality.

You can also reach out or comment below to share your New Years memories.

NOT a Good Reason to Deny Love #7

“What’s next?” “Where do we draw the line?” What's wrong with letting consenting adults have the freedom to love each other as they want and agree? Who has a problem with that? Rather than coming up with convoluted schemes for which groups of people will get which rights, why not support the rights of all adults? It’s really quite simple:

The right to marry or to personal consortium shall not be abridged or denied by the United States or any state on account of sex, gender, sexual orientation, ancestry, consanguinity, or number of participants.

(Adapt that to your country, province, etc.)


There is no good reason to deny an adult, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, race or religion, the right to share love, sex, residence, and marriage (or any of those without the others) with any and all consenting adults without prosecution, bullying, or discrimination.

Feel free to share, copy and paste, and otherwise distribute. This has been adapted from this page at Full Marriage Equality: http://marriage-equality.blogspot.com/p/discredited-invalid-arguments.html

Go to NOT a Good Reason to Deny Love #6 

Go to NOT a Good Reason to Deny Love #8

Living Consanguinamorously - Dating Outside the Family

"Is it cheating to keep or start being with my relative while dating people outside the family?"

Cheating, which is not to be confused with ethical nonmonogamy, is violating existing agreements with one or more lovers while letting them believe the agreement continues to be in effect and unaltered. So if you have an ongoing sexual relationship with a close relative or family member you will keep, or you are pursuing one, you should not indicate to potential new lovers outside the family that you'll be sexually exclusive with them.

While many people find consanguinamorous relationships to be the best, or are consang in orientation, others are polyamorous (especially as an orientation) and either don't find other consanguineous lovers or have a need for someone who happens to be outside of the family. They might even want a unrelated lover as a practical matter, whether due to discrimination against consanguinamory or not. Please do not make someone an unwitting beard, however; it's generally a bad idea to deceive someone entering into a committed relationship with you because you aren't or can't be out about your orientation, relationships, or sex life.

There is not necessarily a need to tell potential new lovers you're involved in or pursuing consanguinamory. In most cases, outing yourself would be a bad idea, especially since consanguinamory is still illegal in many places. However, in many more places, ethical nonmonogamy has mostly been decriminalized or wasn't criminalized in the first place, depending on where you are, so it is far less of a problem to be out as an ethical nonmonogamist.

Do It This Way

Pansexual Pride Day

 

December 8th is Pansexual Pride Day, an annual celebration of the pansexual and panromantic community!

Pansexuals are people who have the capacity to form physical, romantic, and/or emotional attractions to people regardless of gender identity.

Pansexuals and panromantics should have their equal rights, and be free to share love, sex, kink, residence, and marriage with those who mutually consent, without bullying, discrimination, or criminalization.

If you’re pan or you’re an ally to people who are, please feel free to comment. We’d like to hear from you, and you can remain anonymous.

We Get Letters

This blog gets comments on many posts.

I wanted to print a couple of recent ones here because I couldn’t publish them in their original form as I needed to redact a few words.

I’m trying to keep things here as “safe for work” as possible, and certain combinations of letters prompt filters to kick in.

“Jenny p” has left several comments on this blog. Below is one she left after this post: https://marriage-equality.blogspot.com/2020/07/for-parents-considering-consanguinamory.html

I'm a mother with her son here but feel I can give some advice: I think continually reinforcing a culture in your household that discussion about needs and wants isn't bad, but actually welcome, really helps. Ideally it should be possible for a father to express he has a sexual desire and wants something with implicit understanding this is just statement of fact and not an obligation. When this is all laid out on the table it'd be up to the daughter to decide how she wants to best act. To have sex with her dad or not. What I think is important is to realize that the worst state is for her to not know and be robbed of that decision. Perhaps in either case she doesn't want to go further but if the relationship is healthy she would still welcome the transparency and honesty. 

 

I admit it's a hard culture to get to. There's a lot of social stigma. For my son and I he got to a stage where he was comfortable enough to say what'd make him happy and i was used to this enough to not take it as shock. At the start i always made sure to be happy and praise him for sharing what he felt and would make sure to be honest with how i felt too. 

 

When the taboo of just talking plainly breaks down i think things inevitably move fast. Once you know they want something, when there is no doubt, everything is simplified. for me i remember thinking "well he wants this, i want him to have it, and he says he's certain he desires it... there's no miscommunication and there's no one lying or deceit.... so why don't I?" 

 

I want fathers to be able to say to their daughter "i want you to [fellate me] every day and swallow my load, if you did that i'd make me soo happy" and have it be as normal a conversation as as a father telling his daughter what he'd love to have for dinner or his dreams for retirement.

Anonymous left a comment here: https://marriage-equality.blogspot.com/2020/04/family-with-benefits.html

Myself and my elderly mother have enjoyed wonderful sex for sometime now and yes it’s very much like family with benefits, she is my sexual release from a sexless relationship, and I provide her with something she would otherwise be unable to experience. She absolutely loves intercourse and is very oral, often saying what a dirty sinful mother she is whilst we [do it]. We both derive enormous pleasure from what we are doing. How can this be wrong.

What do you think of those comments? Do you agree? Disagree?

You can leave comments within the specified rules after any entry on this blog, including anonymously.

Happy December!

December greetings!

Looks like life is going to be keeping me very busy for much of the month, but I wanted you to know I’m thinking about you, dear readers.

If you need someone to talk with, I hope to be about to keep being responsive to emails, chats, private messages, and direct messages.

There are, fortunately, some great spaces for LGBTQ+ people and nonmonogamous people. There’s still not so many great spaces for the consanguinamorous and people experienced in, or considering, consanguineous relationships or affection. But please know you’re not alone, and having such feelings or experiences doesn’t necessarily mean there’s anything wrong with you. Such experiences and relationships can be natural, common, and positive.

The December holiday season can especially be a time consanguinamory is initiated or rekindled.

Read through the tag on consanguinamory for posts that might help you: https://marriage-equality.blogspot.com/search/label/consanguineous

See my recent personal note for more, including how to contact me privately.

Polyamory Day is November 23!

November 23 is Polyamory Day!

I am polyamorous, but even if I wasn’t, we should all support the rights of all, including the rights of polyamorous people.

Polyamory is the practice, desire, or acceptance of having more than one loving intimate relationship at a time with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved.

The image reads: November 23 is Polyamory Day. Celebrate!

Feel free to share this image anywhere that’s appropriate as long as you’re doing so in support of polyamory and polyamorous people. 

Let consenting adults love each other how they mutually agree!

There is much diversity in polyamory. The uniting factors to polyamory include that it is ongoing nonmonogamy and not cheating.

It has been great to see awareness and acceptance of polyamory grow in recent years. Let's continue to make progress!

As always, comments are welcome below. Are you celebrating? If so, how?

Successful GSA Relationships

There is a split in the Genetic Sexual Attraction community, as I have noted before. I checked out a certain other site's posting with the same title as this entry. Below, I analyze what was written.

We often get this question- Are there any successful GSA relationships?

To answer the question... YES!

Are people in such relationships willing to do interviews that reveal their identities? Almost never.

Or the media will inquire about speaking with GSA couples living in the shadows of society afraid to announce they are actually reunited family members living as lovers.

I don't think many of those couples (or triads) are likely to keep in friendly contact with these negative naysayers. I know some who don't, and they ceased contact after they took over an established forum where people had long been contributing.

The more I work with the GSA community the more I hear about heartbreak and pain, because most often these relationships do not work.

Because that is that is who you attract! You take a negative attitude towards GSA and you offer sex-negative counseling for people who are having problems. What happy lovers are going to bother to come to you, especially if they have to pay money (leaving an clear, easily obtainable trail of evidence some ridiculous prosecutor could use) just to use your forum?

Most romantic/sexual relationships do not "work" if you mean by that "lasting for a lifetime and that lifetime not ending in the murder of one by the other." Most relationships break up, or most of us would still be in our first relationships. But there ARE lasting, happy, loving and very passionate relationships initiated through GSA.

Transgender Day of Remembrance

On November 20, especially, we remember transgender people killed by hatred and ignorance. It's the Transgender Day of Remembrance.

For all transgender people reading this:

We value you. You are valid. You deserve to live your life free of prejudice, free of being attacked for who you are.

We are going to help make things better sooner rather than later.

We are with you.

We remember those who aren’t with us anymore. We support those who are.

Has Your Partner Experienced Consanguinamory?

I used be active at a certain Big Internet Portal's Question and Answer service, until someone who couldn’t handle me answering questions truthfully when it comes to certain romantic or sexual topics decided to get me "suspended" using a weakness in their automated system. After that, I'd still check to see what questions were being asked there, even though I couldn't participate in any way or even contact anyone there unless they had somehow provided an email address in their question or answer. I will not link to the service, but I will quote it. Someone named Lauren asked this question...

Ok.....complicated one, recently found out my husband and his younger sister had sex for a number of years between the ages of 10-12, this is what he's telling me tho I'm aware this may have more to it? We are a young couple married with two children (boys) my relationship with his family has never been great and this hasn't helped! Can anyone give me any advice or your thoughts on how you would deal with this news? I'm up and down and so confused.....

Questions like this come up more than people might think. Person A is dating or married to Person B and Person A suspects or has found out that Person B has been sexually involved with a sibling or other family member. Person A usually wants to know what they should do.

It is important to clarify the situation by determining the answers to some questions.

1) Is this something that is suspected or has it been confirmed?

How Consanguineous Lovers Can Avoid Trouble

Believe it or not, there are still criminal laws in many places criminalizing consensual sex between adults, and there are still police officers who will investigate people for this "crime," still prosecutors who will take the case before a court, and still judges and jurors who will convict people and sentence them to prison. There are still social workers who will take children away from good parents because those parents love other adults.

It doesn't matter to them how loving the relationships are. It doesn't matter if they love each other more than they could love others, it doesn't matter if the lovers didn't even meet each other until they were adults. It apparently doesn't matter to the people interfering that every dollar or minute they spend trying to stop consenting adults from loving each other is a dollar or minute that could instead go into protecting people, especially children, against predators.

In addition to this persecution of consanguinamorous people, there aren't any protections against other forms of discrimination against the consanguinamorous, such as employment discrimination. There are still many states that don't have protections for LGBTQ+ people, either, and polyamorous people are even less protected than monogamous LGBTQ+ people.

I sometimes forget that people don’t follow the news and law as closely as I do for this blog, so they may be unaware of these things. So I want to share with you what I've learned.

First, note the disclaimer that there is an ever-present at the bottom of this blog. I'll mostly repeat it here: