At the suggestion of someone I was discussing this with, I'm asking YOU, dear readers, for your opinions.
Do you think consang lovers who are raising children should tell the children of their relation?
For example, an adult and their parent or adult sibling, uncle, or aunt are living like spouses or at least partners/lovers. The children will know they sleep together, are romantically affectionate, etc., even that they have children together (maybe them!) Because this family is living where people don't know of their genetic relation and assume the home consists of a "regular" couple with kids, there is little chance the children will find out of the genetic relation, at least while they are young. Should the children know that the people they know as their parents or parent/stepparent are close genetic relatives?
What do you suggest? Should the children be told? If so, when and how?
I have my own opinions, but I will post those at a later time.
You can comment below, including anonymously. You can also email your opinions to fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com
Anyone who wants to explain their opinion is welcome, but if you have been involved in a situation like this or personally know of a similar situation, or are educated in child development, please mention that in your comment.
![Non-Monogamy Diagram [I:FV]](http://www.obsidianfields.com/lj/nonmonogamy2.5.1.gif){kind=link}
I think maybe they could be told later in life when they have more life experience.
ReplyDeleteWhat would happen if the child takes ancestry test before the parents told the child about their true relation?
ReplyDeleteAre children able to do that? I would imagine that there are some sort of safe gards in place. Perhaps Keith can answer this?
DeleteI believe that if a relationship consists of fully consenting adults in it, then it is no one's business how close they are genetically. But having children is where I am conflicted because of this very reason. Thanks for bringing this problem to everyone's attention. I hope we get a solution to this problem here.
ReplyDeleteIf there was any possibility of legal consequences, I would be unwilling to share that information.
ReplyDeleteI agree with a previous commentor, once the children are a bit older and are really able to comprehend and process the information, they should be told.
ReplyDeleteThere isn't much chance of having birth issues with the first generation of incestuous pro-creating. But that chance increases with each following generation. The children have a right to know, in the event they too have an incestuous relationship with a sibling.
My mom and I have been having sex since my 18th birthday. My youngest brother is also my son and he’s fine. He’s 8.
ReplyDeleteHow are you involved in his life. As a brother or as a father.
DeleteThat's great. Perhaps you provide Keith with an interview?
Deleteto me it's the same as when you adopt them- it's not some secret evil you have to keep from them and if they find out it's fine, but wait with actually telling them till they're at an age where they can actually grasp the situation decently well.
ReplyDeleteall that is assuming you're somewhere where it's legal. otherwise i'd say to not tell your kids at all for the risk of them accidentally telling someone else.
Yes, but only when they are trustworthy to keep secrets with life-and-death consequences.
ReplyDeleteI think it depends on your role with the kids and whether you think they're emotionally mature enough to handle it, so it just depends how you raised them at the point you're considering telling them.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I wouldn't want to keep that from them myself, but I can understand why you might be hesitate too. It's a complicated issue and really depends on the family unit in question.