Your Son's Choice in Media Content

Someone recently found this blog searching "My son has started to view incest porn." [This entry has been bumped up because it is still relevant.]

What does it mean that your son is viewing "incest porn"?

There is a wide variety of material that can fall under that category.

1. Are we talking about professionally produced videos, featuring unrelated actors, like the classic "Taboo" movies or the countless more recent offerings?

2. Are we talking about what appears to be amateur or "home made" material with people who purport to actually be related?

3. Are we talking about material that depicts assault/molestation?

The first two categories are wildly and widely popular. There are a lot of people who are watching that or material that portrays fauxcest/nearcest. (There are a lot of people who have actual experience, too.) We generally refer to that as consanguineous sex or consanguinamory to distinguish it from abuse or assault.

While category 3 isn't as popular, it still has a following and as long as we're talking about fiction with consenting actors, there isn't necessarily cause for concern. If he seems to be obsessed with abuse/assault he should probably see a mental health professional for an evaluation.

The rest of this entry will focus on a son who is watching something that falls into the first two categories, which depict consensual consanguineous sex.



There could be different things going on:

Possibility A: He has an "incest fetish" or at least mild curiosity and wants to see consanguineous sex, or at least depictions thereof, or likes it because it is "taboo." There are many people who view "incest" porn or erotica who are doing so for this reason and have no interest in any of their actual relatives. If this is the case, it's merely his entertainment and there should be no concern and there isn't anything to discuss.

Possibility B) He's consanguinamorous in orientation and this is at least part of how he is discovering/addressing (maybe even revealing) his desires. (It is important for him to know that porn and erotica are fantasy, and like most media, are usually not accurate reflections of reality.)

Possibility C) Even if he isn't strictly consanguinamorous, there is at least one close relative or family member with whom he would like to have sex, and so he finds erotica with that theme especially interesting.

B and C are where the rubber hits the road. If the son is watching material that depicts scenarios that would include the person doing the search or an actual relative he has, then there might be something to talk about with him. For example, if mom wants to know why her son is watching what is supposed to be sex between a mother and son, it could be because he wants to have sex with her, whether sex only or more of a romantic relationship. Same goes for a father who wants to know why his son watches "father-son" porn. If it is something else, like siblings, cousins, or aunt/uncle with niece/nephew then it might be something he wants with relatives who have those relations to him.

An important question is, how did the person doing the search find out that his or her son watches this material? If the parent knows because the son wanted them to know (he told them, he didn't erase his browsing history, he used a device to which he knows they have access, he allowed them to walk in on him), then he likely wants to have sex with one (or more) of them and this was a signal to them, and he was testing their reaction. If the parent knows because they have circumvented the son's attempts at privacy, there is a chance this is a "Possibility A" situation, although it could still be B and/or C.

Figuring out what is going on might include continuing to monitor his viewing habits, talking with him (could be awkward, but would be healthy), and paying close attention to what else is happening. For example, if he's been viewing brother-sister erotica and he seems to have been trying to spend more time with his sister and getting more affectionate or playful with her, then that is different than if he seems to avoid his sister.

So What's Next?

There might not be anything to do. If this is simply the son finding the erotic media he likes, there is nothing to do, provided he's old enough to view it.

If a parent understands their son wants to have sex with others in the family, the parent can attempt to be preventative, neutral, or supportive in their reaction. Preventative actions are for "sex" that wouldn't really be sex, but assault (as in, the family member or members the son wants are unable to consent). This can involve confronting the son with warnings, denying him access, etc. Neutral would mean staying out of the matter entirely and allowing those involved their privacy. Supportive could mean any number of things, up to playing the wingman. If, for example, a mother discovers her son wants to be with her sister (his aunt), the mother might talk with the aunt about it or advise her son how to approach his aunt.

If the parent understands their son wants to have sex with them, then the parent has some decisions to make. Initial reactions, especially negative ones, might change. If he's not of age, he might benefit from reading this. If he's of age, you still might want to move forward slowly.

Whatever is going on, if your son watches such media, he's  hardly alone. It is a very popular theme in erotica and porn.