We Get Letters From Closeted Lovers

It's always nice to get appreciative feedback, whether via email (fullmarriageequality at yahoo dot com) or via the comment feature below. This message came in, and I wish I could share more about this person but this person is exceedingly wary of being identified by anyone who might read this. Given the prejudices, including criminalization (as is the case where this person lives) applied to this loving relationship, I understand.

Here is what was written...

Hi,

I just wanted to thank you for speaking about [consanguinamory] in your blog. It was pretty amazing to read someone openly supporting us.

I myself am in an incestuous relationship but couldn't possibly ever consider speaking out about it. It's totally illegal where I am, and we would probably both be publicly shamed. I live in fear every day of just one person deciding I'm not human and reporting us and having my family and friends abandon me because I'm disgusting to them. I can't even let my partner know because if they thought I was constantly worried, they would leave me thinking it was the better choice.

They've been together for years, and the person who wrote fears "being dragged out of our beds at night and called monsters."

So many people on my Facebook friend's list have been harping on about love is love and all I can feel is bitter because I know if they ever found out what I really was, they would turn their backs on me and join the mobs.

Some probably would, but there are more allies out there than this person might think. (Unfortunately, it only takes a few people with prejudices to keep things oppressive.) The good news is, more and more people are becoming allies after being asked to think about the issues, especially in consideration that there are people who are in loving relationships and having to hide them. It is important to get people thinking about this, removed from their own aversion to their own close relatives; it isn't about whether any given person feels sexually attracted to, or repulsed by, their own family members; it is that there are people who, for whatever reason, are attracted to each other and love each other, and they shouldn't be denied their rights or have to live in fear.

I want people to know there's people here suffering who's only crime was falling in love. We have been separated for so long because we can't risk for a second anyone knowing because of how in danger we are. Please, if you're not in danger, speak out. Let's start our fight to be accepted now.

We are humans. We're hurting no one. The arguments against us are bulls--- and you know it. Challenge those around you to really think what's so sick about people just wanting to be together. We're not victims, we're not mentally ill. I know who I love and if I could fight, I'd fight every step of the way for us just being able to live together and be there for one another. 

Please, keep fighting for us.

I got permission to say that they didn't "really" meet until they were adults, so this might fall under Genetic Sexual Attraction. Regardless of category, they are consenting adults who love each other and there's no good reason they shouldn't be free to be together and to marry, if that is what they want.

If you are in a situation like this, please tell us about it; even if you don't, you might be able to find help. If you think someone you know might be in a situation like this, please read this. Anyone who wants to help make sure all adults get their rights sooner rather than later should read this.