Another Brother Leaves a Comment

Anonymous left a comment at the end on one of our FAQ postings, the one about how common it is for people to have consanguinamorous experiences.

It's another example of how siblings can be kind and loving to each other, instead of being rivals and fighting or ignoring each others or being abusive towards each other.


It gets a little explicit so I'm putting a break here.

Thanksgiving Day in US

Thanksgiving Day is a huge holiday in the US, centered mainly around a special family meal. In case you haven't noticed, Americans like to eat a lot. It is always on a Thursday, with Friday typically being a holiday as well. It is considered the busiest travel time in the US. I’m not sure why it is busier than Christmas. Probably because a lot of people throw in New Year’s Eve/Day with Christmas and schools are out for at least two weeks (some for over a month.) So, the travel is spread out over a longer period of time when it comes to Christmas. In addition, with Christmas, gift-giving is a central tradition, and it is easier to stay home and ship presents. For Thanksgiving, people just bring themselves, any luggage they need, and perhaps a dish or two.

Because Thanksgiving is considered to specifically be about family togetherness, it can be a painful time for those who have been rejected by their family because of their gender identity, sexual orientation, or choice in patner(s). Some LGBT people, poly people, and those in consanguineous, intergenerational, or interracial relationships are reminded every year that even their own family hates them.

Some people make the best of this and plan a Thanksgiving meal with friends. I throw out a special “good for you” to anyone who hosts such a meal this holiday. Keep up the good work. I think such gatherings are much more enjoyable anyway.

But I also have words for anyone who has driven away or banned someone in their family because of that other family member’s identity, orientation or partner(s): Shame on you. You don’t have to like your family member’s sexuality or how they live. But you should reach out to them and support them instead of driving them away. Every person at that table does things you don’t like. Why single out a family member for punishment because of who they love? If your family member has a partner whose family is more accepting, guess who is going to win? Guess who is going to get to play with any grandkids/nieces/nephews? Not you.

If you can’t go “home” for Thanksgiving and you are feeling down and you haven’t managed to make plans with friends, consider hosting your own Thanksgiving and invite some friends. Or, volunteer at a homeless shelter or some other charity location that will be helping people on Thursday. Don’t allow depression to take hold. You can find a place where you will be welcomed.

This Thanksgiving, in addition to those I love, I’m especially thankful for Linda, Melissa, and Matthew, who inspired this blog, and all of you who read this blog and especially those of you who leave comments or email me. I’m also thankful for everyone who is moving forward the right for all adults to be themselves and share love, sex, residence, and marriage.

What are you thankful for? Can you go home for Thanksgiving? Do you host? You are welcome to leave your comments, as always.

See my Advice to Family and Friends

Siblings Helping Siblings

Someone I'll call "John" reached out to me via email...

Hi. I'm not really sure what to say so I'll be blunt and honest. I've had a incestuous experience. It was a one time thing with my sister. Neither of us feel we did anything wrong, we both enjoyed it. We didn't have children or continue with a life long affair, just kids having fun. If anything from my experience can help to expand peoples minds in regard to incest then I would like to share (anonymously). Please reply if you want to hear my story.

I responded and John wrote back to explain...

We Get Hate Mail

We get a lot of supportive and thankful comments here. We also get some hateful comments left here, and some of them I don't publish either because they don't even attempt to contribute anything to the discussion or because of the words used. If the reason is the latter, I may publish a comment in edited form, as I'm doing here.

Someone left a comment on this very popular entry about a media depiction of a loving relationship initiated through Genetic Sexual Attraction.

This is actually f---ing sick.

One of the great things about everyone having equal rights is that if you don't want to have a relationship like that, you don't have to. And if someone finds your relationship to be sick, they can't stop you.

For all of you who are congratulating them wtf is wrong with you?

It's called... being happy for other people. Try it sometime?

He is her father!

Genetically, yes. But he didn't raise her. So what is the point, either way? Our objecting person doesn't explain what the actual problem is.

That's f---ing beyond disgusting.

Again, then don't do it. See Discredited Argument #1.

I'm gay, and marriage 'equality' make me sick to feel that I should be categorized in the same rank as these two sick people. Ew.

Sad. There are people who say the very same thing about gays. They don't want them considered to be equal to heterosexuals.

Each to their own, yes.

Oh, good, something reasonable.

Why did they have to admit it to everyone?

Sadly, there are people who say the same thing about LGBT people, including some LGBT people. Coming out of the closet should, in general, is a choice that should be made by the individuals.

Comments like this make me appreciate solidarity all the more.

Whether you or I or anyone else likes any given orientation or relationship (or is disgusted), we should affirm that an adult, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, race, or religion, should be free to share love, sex, residence, and marriage (or any of those without the others) with any and all consenting adults.

A Relevant Question at GirlsAskGuys

Topics relevant to this blog get discussed at girlsaskguys.com. Don't let the name fool you. Anyone can answer the questions and anyone can ask them, too. Someone anonymous, now between the ages of 18 and 24, asked this...

so obviously i can't go into much detail about this but basically no penetration and it was... my own brother

i was less than 10 years old and so was he but he was too curious about the female body, but like i said no penetration

i didn't fully understand at the time what was going on at the time, but i knew it was wrong.

my question is, how does incest (or something close to it) affect you later on in life? (im still a virgin btw, i mean how does it affect you psychologically, socially... etc)
and can the damage (if any) be reversed?

im repulsed by it, but i dont feel like its affecting me right now... actually I don't know how i feel at all..

and no im not that catfish, thats why i didn't go into details, i just want some answers because i dont have anyone to talk to about this and i can't go to a psychologist. thank you 

Per my questions, she clarified...

i can't remember exactly but less than 10 years old and there's a year age difference between us
and no wasn't forced or anything

With only a year's age difference and no coercion, this is what most therapists would call exploration, not abuse. She didn't say if her brother seemed maladjusted (I would think she would have) but obviously it is something that has troubled her, but that's likely to external shaming.

Accept That Your Grown Children Are Adults

Emily Yoffe's Dear Prudence column got a polyamory question. Stuck in the Middle With Him wrote... [I'm bumping this up because it is as relevant as ever as this can happen any time of the year.]

Our daughter "Amanda" lives in another state and has been married to "Jacob" for several years. Theirs is an open relationship, and I have always known that. My husband, however has kept his head in the sand regarding this. My daughter has a boyfriend, "Tom,” whom Jacob knows about and has a great friendship with. They are all planning to come to our home this Christmas, but my husband insists that Tom (who has visited us previously) is not welcome. Do I tell our daughter, son-in-law, and daughter's boyfriend to make other holiday plans? My opinion is that they are all consenting adults, there are no children involved, and always behave appropriately in public.

The letter writer's husband is being a jerk. The letter writer sounds like a reasonable person. I would be interested in knowing if they have any other children, and if the non-spousal partners and friends of those children are also banned? I would also be interested in knowing how Jacob and Tom's families are about the situation. Maybe Amanda, Jacob, and Tom should go to see them for the holidays? Or they can host their own holiday get-togethers and invite all who will come?

Yoffe's reply...

Perhaps a generation from now many families will be having a very polyamorous Christmas. But we aren’t there yet. I support your conclusion that your daughter and the men in her life are consenting adults and as long as they behave with decorum, what they do in private is none of your business. But they are also open about their open relationship, so I can understand your husband’s point of view that he attended Amanda’s wedding to Jacob, where she vowed to forsake all others, including every Tom, Dick, and Harry.

Not everyone makes that vow, and not everyone who makes that vow means that they will have no involvement whatsoever with anyone else. Also, agreements are mutually modified all of the time, and if Amanda and Jacob mutually agreed to their situation, they that's all that should matter.

Suggest this year she come only with Jacob. Surely she knows there are simply occasions when she must make a choice about which man to bring.

Hmm. Tom is part of Amanda's life. This is a rejection of Amanda's autonomy over her own sexuality and social life, and a rejection of Jacob as well, since he agreed to this. Parents aren't always going to like the decisions their adult children make, but those grown children are going to live their own lives, and their parents can either be a part of it or not.

Roger E. Olson Asks About Solidarity

Someone asked me for my thoughts on challenge posed by Roger E. Olson that I found here at patheos.com. Olson has a question for supporters of the same-gender freedom to marry...

What purely rational or religious-based reasons can be given for continuing to criminalize “plural marriage” or to deny marriage licenses to groups?

Now, just to stave off an avalanche or even a trickle of comments based on misunderstanding. I am not here discussing the ethics of gay marriage, so do not respond as if I were. I am only asking advocates of gay marriage how they would argue against, if at all, legal plural marriage. And by “plural marriage” here I am only talking about arrangements where all the parties to it are knowledgeable, free adults and where there is no abuse or coercion.

He asks again...

What ethical or legal arguments would you, who advocate and support gay marriage, give for continuing to prohibit plural marriage?

He goes for full marriage equality by asking...

Then, let’s take it a step further. Image a biological brother and sister who wish to be legally married. One or both of them will undergo voluntary sterilization to avoid the possibility of having children (who might have serious birth defects as a result). They can prove to the government that they cannot have biological children, but they plan to adopt. To those who advocate and defend gay marriage, which is the same as saying redefine marriage from its traditional definition, what rational or purely religious arguments can you give for prohibiting such a marriage? If such a couple sues for a marriage license, what reasoning should a judge use (if at all) to deny their claim?

As a supporter of the same-gender freedom to marry, my answer is that I don't want any adults to be prohibited from marrying. I support full marriage equality. I don't have an invisible asterisk. There is no good reason to deny full marriage equality.

Olson is asking a good question that I hope will encourage solidarity. We should not only support the same-gender freedom to marry, but the polygamous freedom to marry and the consanguineous freedom to marry, which are all part of full marriage equality. Let's not throw anyone under the bus. Equality is not something to be feared.

Moms Speak Up on Consanguinamory

Topics relevant to this blog pop up in various discussion venues, such as cafemom.com, and sometimes the discussions aren't deleted before I find them. Here's some of what I found over there earlier today.

Anonymous  asked "Do you think incest should be illegal? If it's between two consenting adults, do you think it should be against the law? Why or why not?"

It is the position of this blog that an adult should be free to be with any and all consenting adults, regardless of gender, number, or relation, without prosecution, bullying, or discrimination. What do the moms say?

Mom-to-2kids chimed in as an ally...

Another Example of How Full Marriage Equality Helps All

This blog has long recognized that full marriage equality is something that will help everyone, including people who are already in monogamous heterosexual marriages. In an example provided by Kristen Mark, Ph.D., M.P.H. at psychologytoday.com, we see that polyamory can help monogamous people, but that can happen most of all if polyamory isn't kept in the shadows and discriminated against.

We're all better off with full marriage equality and relationship rights for all adults. People can seek the relationships they want the most without being hindered by criminalization or discriminatory laws, and we can learn from each other.

Even More Kardashian Controversy

Our apologies if you don't want to read about the Kardashians. We have noted before, including recently, that the Kardashians continue to flirt with consanguinamorous themes and the genre of media following them continues to make a big deal about it. [Bumping up because they're doing this again.]

For example, see this report with the headline "Incestuous Kardashian kiss!"...

Evan Agostini/Invision/AP

Kim Kardashian

Brody Jenner claims that his brother Brandon Jenner and stepsister Kim Kardashian once shared a kiss. 

Brody and Brandon Jenner are stepbrothers to
Kim Kardashian, so it wouldn't be incestuous in the biological sense.

The 30-year-old reality star blurted out the shocking news during episode of 'Keeping Up with the Kardashians' after he was being teased for seeing Kim pose in a barely-there outfit.

Kim's mother Kris Jenner said: "I feel like Brody is crushing on Kim. I think you've had a crush since you were seven years old."

That wouldn't be unusual. It happens with stepsiblings all of the time.

Brody denied the suggestions and was quick to hit back with a surprising accusation of his own, turning the heat on his elder brother Brandon.

Pointing to his sibling, he said: "That was him and Kim! You're forgetting that. They kissed back in the day."

Yes, stepsiblings have crushes, infatuations, love, kisses, and more. I'd like to see television shows stop treating this subject like it is some sort of strange or shameful thing.

Brothers Marry Best Friends and It Goes Polyamorous

More than one Friend of Full Marriage Equality has called my attention to this, which I'd already seen and planned to talk about. So here it is. It is the most recent Dan Savage column. It is the last letter that is of most interest to this blog.

My brother and I married two incredible women.

Each? No. Just one each.

Our wives were good friends before we started dating them. My brother has always been my best friend, so the four of us spend a lot of time together.

So far, so good. Great, actually.

Recently, a couple of drinks turned into a bunch, and then my wife and sister-in-law started making out.

No problem there! (Unless, of course, they're sticking with strict monogamy, which they aren't.)

Then they f---ed. It was the hottest thing I've ever seen. We ended up pairing off with our respective partners and having sex in the same room. The next morning, the same thing happened again—wives f---ed each other, we watched, then we f---ed our wives in front of each other—and now my wife tells me that she and her friend would like to date each other. The group sessions would continue. (But no wife swapping: MW sex between husband and wife only!) Everyone seems onboard.

Then what's the problem? Or is this just a chance to bask in the enjoyment?

What Searches Bring People Here

People find this blog through all sorts of paths. I find some of the search phrases that bring people here interesting. In the past day or so, someone found this blog through these three search phrases.

does siblings more likely to have sex if in a nude family

With questions like this, I like to remind people that nudity and sex are two different things. It is possible to have sex while being fully clothed, and it is possible to be nude around others without having sex. This happens all of the time.

That being said, it may be that siblings in naturist families are more likely to have sex. I'm guessing this would be not due to the nudity, but because I expect that there is significant overlap between families more open and comfortable about their bodies and families where sexual exploration isn't discouraged. This isn't to say that all naturist families would be accepting of sibling consanguinamory, as not all families are naturists for the same reasons.

As far as I know, there is no statistical data showing that sibling sex is more likely in naturist families than the general population.

what is the percentage of brother sister incest in divorce families

Now there may be some statistical information about this, but I suspect it might be about assault rather than consanguinamory. When it comes to consanguinamory, I would guess that divorce in and of itself is a less relevant factor than things like how much and how closely siblings are supervised. There are two-parent families with teenagers in which both parents are working full-time and then some, leaving the teen siblings home with each other and nobody else. On the other hand, there are divorced parents who closely supervise their teenagers. So divorce in and of itself probably isn't much of an indicator.

If, on the other hand, we're talking about adult siblings who have been through divorces themselves, then I think there is some likelihood that siblings in those situations either initiate or resume a sexual relationship, if for no other reason than their sibling is a "safe" partner after a painful experience of divorce.

is incest between two middle aged adults illegal in the uk

Yes, unfortunately. See here for more, and follow the links.

Latest Update on Zambia Prosecution of Consenting Adults

We've been following the case of two lovers in Zambia who have been subject to an hateful prosecution for the "crime" of loving each other. According to this report at lusakatimes.com, the pair has been convicted and face a minimum of twenty years in prison. 

ext size Teen's Disappearance Helps Unravel Large-Scale, Incestuous Sex Ring Updated: Monday, November 3 2014, 04:30 PM CST BAY MINETTE, Ala. (AP) -- By most accounts, 19-year-old Brittney Wood was with uncle Donnie Holland the night of May 30, 2012, the last time anyone saw her. Holland - who was under investigation for horrific sex crimes at the time - died from a bullet within days in what was ruled a suicide. The investigation that followed has publicly unraveled what authorities describe as a dark, twisted tale of perversion in the working-class neighborhoods and piney backwoods of coastal Alabama. Eight of Woods' adult relatives and three family friends have been charged with dozens of felonies in two counties as the alleged members of an incestuous ring that authorities say shared children for group sex. Holland was the leader, prosecutors say, of what has been described as the largest sex ring ever uncovered in Alabama. Wood was a victim and likely key witness. "Brittney could have been huge," said prosecutor Teresa Heinz. "She could have corroborated so many things." Wood is presumed dead, but authorities haven't found a trace of her and no one is charged in her disappearance. Even without Wood to testify, two of her uncles and an older brother already have pleaded guilty to sex charges, and jurors this month convicted a friend of Holland's of multiple sex charges in the first trial. Others - including the missing teen's mother, Chessie Wood, and two aunts - await trial. Chessie Wood denies committing any crime, but says some of her closest relatives are guilty of abusing children, including of abusing her daughter. "There are innocent people in this and there are guilty people in this," Wood, 39, said in an interview. "I don't know how the judicial system is going to figure it all out because they're not the sharpest tools in the shed." Chessie Wood, accused of having sex with a young female relative, said she had no idea what was going on in the family until after her daughter's disappearance. "The No. 1 thing here is to find Brittney. The No. 2 thing is to get all these sick (people) off the streets," she said. Authorities are making plea-bargain offers and getting ready for more trials, but questions persist. Perhaps most troubling, why didn't child welfare workers pursue charges following what prosecutors describe as multiple complaints about sexual abuse within the family going back at least six years? "You'd be surprised how many of them had prior allegations. Nothing happened," said Heinz, an assistant district attorney in Baldwin County. "You have to wonder what wouldn't have happened to these children if something had been done. And Brittney might still be alive." The case is so big officials don't know exactly how many kids inside and outside the family might have been victimized; estimates range from 11 to 16 children who were as young as 3 or 4 when they were first molested or made to watch adult relatives during drug-fueled orgies. The children of the suspects have all been placed in foster care or with relatives who weren't involved in the crimes. Brittney Wood isn't the alleged victim in any of the cases filed so far; each involved other young people, mostly within her family. But the investigation mushroomed only after she was reported missing and her uncle Donnie had died. Authorities believe group sex and child sexual abuse went on for three generations in two families that merged when Holland married Wendy Wood, Chessie Woods' sister. "Donnie was the manager. He'd say, 'I've got this child and this adult, come on over,'" said Mobile County Assistant District Attorney Nicki Patterson. Brittney Wood, meanwhile, led a life that was troubled long before folks on the Alabama coast came to know her smile because of missing persons fliers posted in store windows and shared on social media. The single mother of a daughter born when she was 17, Wood was molested as a child by a step-grandfather who went to prison for the crime, said Patterson. Before she went missing, Patterson said, Wood was using drugs and had a gun for personal protection while bouncing between relatives' homes; others often cared for her daughter. A relative reported Holland for allegedly abusing one of the family girls in February 2012, authorities said, and word spread through the clan. Private Facebook messages provided to The Associated Press by Stephanie Hanke, Brittney Wood's stepmother, show that a female relative informed Wood about being raped by three male relatives on May 27, just three days before Wood vanished. The night of the disappearance, cellphone records and witness accounts indicate Wood left west Mobile with Holland and crossed Mobile Bay into Baldwin County, where Holland was found two days later inside his SUV by his wife and one of her friends. He had been shot in the rear of his head behind an ear, which authorities considered an odd spot for a self-inflicted wound. Holland was scheduled to be questioned about allegations of sexual abuse the very day he was found in the car on an isolated dirt road. Wood's cellphone battery was in the vehicle with Holland, but there was no sign of the teen. Her gun was there as well, it was the only gun in the car. Holland never regained consciousness and died several days later. After Holland died, relatives and police wondered about Wood. "We didn't even realize she was missing until after they found him shot," said Hanke. Searches for the teen began and the sex abuse probe picked up, too. Two of Woods's uncles, Dustin Kent and Scott Wood, were arrested within three weeks and later pleaded guilty to rape and sodomy. Aunts and family friends were eventually charged. This month, family friend Billy Brownlee, 50, was convicted in Baldwin County on charges of sexually abusing a girl in the Holland family when she was about 12. Brownlee claimed Donnie Holland forced him into the acts against his will, but jurors needed only 20 minutes to return a guilty verdict. Donnie Holland's 35-year-old wife, Wendy, is set for trial in early December in what could be a key prosecution. Court records show she has pleaded not guilty, and Heinz said she shows no interest in a plea agreement. Still, authorities wonder how child sexual abuse could go on for years between so many people without anyone being charged until 2012. One girl accused an uncle of sexually abusing her as early as 2008, Heinz said, but welfare workers found the complaint unsubstantiated. "You look at these reports and wonder, 'Why? How did it not go anywhere?'" said Heinz. Barry Spear, a spokesman for the Alabama Department of Human Resources, said privacy statutes prevent the agency from commenting. "I can't even say whether we're had any involvement with this family at all," Spear said.

Read More at: http://www.keyetv.com/news/features/top-stories/stories/teens-disappearance-helps-unravel-largescale-incestuous-sex-ring-21964.shtml

text size Teen's Disappearance Helps Unravel Large-Scale, Incestuous Sex Ring Updated: Monday, November 3 2014, 04:30 PM CST BAY MINETTE, Ala. (AP) -- By most accounts, 19-year-old Brittney Wood was with uncle Donnie Holland the night of May 30, 2012, the last time anyone saw her. Holland - who was under investigation for horrific sex crimes at the time - died from a bullet within days in what was ruled a suicide. The investigation that followed has publicly unraveled what authorities describe as a dark, twisted tale of perversion in the working-class neighborhoods and piney backwoods of coastal Alabama. Eight of Woods' adult relatives and three family friends have been charged with dozens of felonies in two counties as the alleged members of an incestuous ring that authorities say shared children for group sex. Holland was the leader, prosecutors say, of what has been described as the largest sex ring ever uncovered in Alabama. Wood was a victim and likely key witness. "Brittney could have been huge," said prosecutor Teresa Heinz. "She could have corroborated so many things." Wood is presumed dead, but authorities haven't found a trace of her and no one is charged in her disappearance. Even without Wood to testify, two of her uncles and an older brother already have pleaded guilty to sex charges, and jurors this month convicted a friend of Holland's of multiple sex charges in the first trial. Others - including the missing teen's mother, Chessie Wood, and two aunts - await trial. Chessie Wood denies committing any crime, but says some of her closest relatives are guilty of abusing children, including of abusing her daughter. "There are innocent people in this and there are guilty people in this," Wood, 39, said in an interview. "I don't know how the judicial system is going to figure it all out because they're not the sharpest tools in the shed." Chessie Wood, accused of having sex with a young female relative, said she had no idea what was going on in the family until after her daughter's disappearance. "The No. 1 thing here is to find Brittney. The No. 2 thing is to get all these sick (people) off the streets," she said. Authorities are making plea-bargain offers and getting ready for more trials, but questions persist. Perhaps most troubling, why didn't child welfare workers pursue charges following what prosecutors describe as multiple complaints about sexual abuse within the family going back at least six years? "You'd be surprised how many of them had prior allegations. Nothing happened," said Heinz, an assistant district attorney in Baldwin County. "You have to wonder what wouldn't have happened to these children if something had been done. And Brittney might still be alive." The case is so big officials don't know exactly how many kids inside and outside the family might have been victimized; estimates range from 11 to 16 children who were as young as 3 or 4 when they were first molested or made to watch adult relatives during drug-fueled orgies. The children of the suspects have all been placed in foster care or with relatives who weren't involved in the crimes. Brittney Wood isn't the alleged victim in any of the cases filed so far; each involved other young people, mostly within her family. But the investigation mushroomed only after she was reported missing and her uncle Donnie had died. Authorities believe group sex and child sexual abuse went on for three generations in two families that merged when Holland married Wendy Wood, Chessie Woods' sister. "Donnie was the manager. He'd say, 'I've got this child and this adult, come on over,'" said Mobile County Assistant District Attorney Nicki Patterson. Brittney Wood, meanwhile, led a life that was troubled long before folks on the Alabama coast came to know her smile because of missing persons fliers posted in store windows and shared on social media. The single mother of a daughter born when she was 17, Wood was molested as a child by a step-grandfather who went to prison for the crime, said Patterson. Before she went missing, Patterson said, Wood was using drugs and had a gun for personal protection while bouncing between relatives' homes; others often cared for her daughter. A relative reported Holland for allegedly abusing one of the family girls in February 2012, authorities said, and word spread through the clan. Private Facebook messages provided to The Associated Press by Stephanie Hanke, Brittney Wood's stepmother, show that a female relative informed Wood about being raped by three male relatives on May 27, just three days before Wood vanished. The night of the disappearance, cellphone records and witness accounts indicate Wood left west Mobile with Holland and crossed Mobile Bay into Baldwin County, where Holland was found two days later inside his SUV by his wife and one of her friends. He had been shot in the rear of his head behind an ear, which authorities considered an odd spot for a self-inflicted wound. Holland was scheduled to be questioned about allegations of sexual abuse the very day he was found in the car on an isolated dirt road. Wood's cellphone battery was in the vehicle with Holland, but there was no sign of the teen. Her gun was there as well, it was the only gun in the car. Holland never regained consciousness and died several days later. After Holland died, relatives and police wondered about Wood. "We didn't even realize she was missing until after they found him shot," said Hanke. Searches for the teen began and the sex abuse probe picked up, too. Two of Woods's uncles, Dustin Kent and Scott Wood, were arrested within three weeks and later pleaded guilty to rape and sodomy. Aunts and family friends were eventually charged. This month, family friend Billy Brownlee, 50, was convicted in Baldwin County on charges of sexually abusing a girl in the Holland family when she was about 12. Brownlee claimed Donnie Holland forced him into the acts against his will, but jurors needed only 20 minutes to return a guilty verdict. Donnie Holland's 35-year-old wife, Wendy, is set for trial in early December in what could be a key prosecution. Court records show she has pleaded not guilty, and Heinz said she shows no interest in a plea agreement. Still, authorities wonder how child sexual abuse could go on for years between so many people without anyone being charged until 2012. One girl accused an uncle of sexually abusing her as early as 2008, Heinz said, but welfare workers found the complaint unsubstantiated. "You look at these reports and wonder, 'Why? How did it not go anywhere?'" said Heinz. Barry Spear, a spokesman for the Alabama Department of Human Resources, said privacy statutes prevent the agency from commenting. "I can't even say whether we're had any involvement with this family at all," Spear said.

Read More at: http://www.keyetv.com/news/features/top-stories/stories/teens-disappearance-helps-unravel-largescale-incestuous-sex-ring-21964.shtml

---

 Kabwe Principal Resident Magistrate John Mbuzi has convicted and committed brother and sister facing sex charges to Kabwe High Court for sentence.

Mr Mbuzi said it was undisputable that Maureen and Aaron Musonda where living as husband and wife despite knowing very well that they where siblings.

So what?

Particulars of the offence are that Aaron Musonda on dates unknown but between December, 2013 and February 27, 2014 in Kabwe knowing Maureen Musonda was his sister had unlawful carnal knowledge of her.In the second count incest by female particulars of the offence are that Maureen on dates unknown but between December 1, 2013 and February 27, 2014 in Kabwe knowing Aaron to be her brother permitted him to have unlawful carnal knowledge of her.

Still no mention of any victim. Because there isn't one. This shouldn't be crime.

Another report at zambia.news24.com....

The offence against the two carries a minimum sentence of 20 years.

The couple has since been remanded to custody and are currently awaiting sentencing during their next appearance in the Kabwe High Court.

Neither of them have hurt anyone. They're not a threat to anyone. If they are, in fact, genetically related, they are half siblings who did not grow up together. This whole prosecution was outrageous and prison for any length of time is an injustice, but twenty years? The court should do the right thing and set aside the conviction and set them free, and apologize. The only reason they should have to be in a courtroom is to get married.

People in consanguinamorous relationships need to remember to protect themselves.

One Way People Start Learning About Polyamory

There's an interesting blog called "The unveiling of a man the soul of a woman" and there was a post with the title of "Getting acquainted with polyamory" that caught our eye here at FME.

I didn't quite know how to feel when I unintentionally found myself at one end of a polyamorous relationship. I was startled, to say the least, although I did not quite understand why. Don't get me wrong, I have, for a long time, firmly believed that loving, consensual relationships of any shape or form should be accepted and welcomed in society. But at the same time, it was an unexpected surprise to be told by someone I had just started seeing that he had a girlfriend.

It is very important for people who will be expecting monogamy or polyamory to explain that early on, even if you're not at the point you know you'll want an ongoing relationship with this specific person. For someone willing to be in a polyamorous relationship with someone but not with a cheater, it then becomes important to verify that the person you're dating is not hiding that from their current partner(s).

Amidst my confusion, I felt the need to tell a few friends about how I was now involved in a polyamorous relationship. For the most part, the responses were neutral, if not supportive. But one of my friend's responses in particular stood out from the rest.

"That's messed up," my friend said abruptly, after sharing my experience with him.

"Not when there is consent on all ends of the relationship," I argued.

"Nah, it's still messed up."

My friend's strong reaction to polyamory – or more crucially, his reaction to a so-called deviant relationship form – spoke to a broader issue of how some forms of love and relationship structures are valued more and seen as more legitimate in society at-large.

Polyamory is gaining ground, though.

People who partake in more than one committed relationship at once are largely nonexistent in mainstream media.

Yes. But there are more and more representations, which is good.

In order to clear up these misconceptions, and to learn more about polyamory, I interviewed two people who identify as polyamorous: Jocelyn Beaudet, a student at Concordia University, and Jane*, a student in U1 at McGill, studying linguistics and Sexual Diversity Studies. Each person I spoke with helped me clear up misconceptions of polyamory that run rampant in our society. They shared their experiences of polyamorous relationships, and the difficulties they've encountered in a society where monogamy is understood as the only natural way that intimate relationships should form.

Click through to read it all.

It is good to see more and more people giving basic explanations and examples of polyamory, just as it is good to see more and more resources for people in polyamorous relationships and families.

Election Day in the US

Tomorrow is Election Day in the US.

It's a "midterm" election, meaning we are almost halfway through this Presidential term, and as such we are not voting for President, but we are voting:

1) To elect about 1/3rd of our Senate

2) To elect our entire House of Representativea

3) To elect Governors in some states.

4) For various state and local offices and in some states, on some laws.

This blog is wont tell you who should get your vote, other than to encourage you to support those who are most supportive of marriage equality.