An Adult Should Be Free To Marry All Consenting Adults

Recently, "Bernadette" submitted these comments to the blog...

Polygamy is the Apex of patriarchy.

and...

Take a look at the map where polygamy is legal. How are those countries doing? Specifically, what is the status of women in those countries? Polygamy is horrible for women and horrible for society.

This has been addressed here, but I will reiterate below.

The places she is probably referencing are places in which women and LGBTQ people are discriminated against, often with deadly bigotry. But these places don't have polygamy under a system of gender equality like we would. They have heterosexual monogamy or polygyny-only. Those are the only options for allowed sexual relationships. Sex within marriage, and it had better be heterosexual. There's no allowance for LGBTQ people or polyamorous people who don't want polygyny.

In places like the US, under a system of gender equality, an adult, regardless of gender or sexual orientation, will be free to marry all consenting adults. 

This will make things MORE equal and free, not less. 

Support FULL Marriage Equality!

Celebrating International Consanguinamory Day

April 28 is a day to celebrate and to affirm consanguinamory. 

People who are consanguinamorous or in consanguinamorous relationships shouldn't have to hide.

Consanguinamory has always been part of the human experience, wherever people have been, regardless of location, class, or demographics. 

Consanguinamory isn't shameful. It is quite often a beautiful thing. 

Consenting adults should be free to love each other how they mutually agree, and shouldn't have to hide their love. They should be free to share their love and be true to themselves, without being prosecuted, persecuted, or discriminated against. 

To all consanguinamorous people:

Most of you have to keep your celebrations private, but we know you're out there, and you are valid and deserve your rights. Sunday, April 28 is your day. Progress is being made. Let's make more!a day to celebrate and to affirm consanguinamorya day to celebrate and to affirm consanguinamory

Consanguinamorists Are Part of Society

Bigots against consanguinamory frequently bring up rare examples of individuals or an isolated family in which there has apparently been many generations of close inbreeding, and the problems these individuals or families have. This is supposed to be justification for discriminating against the consanguinamorous.

This is as ridiculous as saying something like, "Look up Scott Peterson" as to why non-consanguinamorous relationships are bad.

Most consanguinamorous relationships are between people like your neighbors, co-workers, classmates, and "ordinary" people you know. You know healthy, bright, attractive, friendly people whose parents are close genetic relatives, whether you know their true genetic parentage or not. They might not even know. Meanwhile, there are people who have inherited serious genetic diseases and their parents were not close genetic relatives.

It is also important to remember that "birth defects" can be caused by many things, including environment, abuse, substances ingested by parents, and other factors.

Two or more closely related individuals wanting to share sex, romance, a residence, or marriage is not the same thing as many generations of isolated inbreeding.

We have examples. For example, we can compare births in US states that have no criminal laws against consanguinamory to states with strict laws against consanguinamory. Spoiler: states that do not criminalize consanguinamory do not have a higher genetic disease rate than states that criminalize first cousins for having sex.

Instead of continuing the discriminate against lovers, we should be encouraging the use of modern science and technology to prevent, mitigate, and treat what is of concern.

It is also important to reject ableist bigotry that dehumanizes people with certain genetic conditions.

This blog does not encourage anyone to literally or figuratively isolate themselves from the rest of society and inbreed in perpetuity for generation after generation, so citing examples of that misses the point.

There simply is no good reason to deny 

consanguineous lovers their fundamental rights, including full marriage equality.

As always, feel free to comment below, which can be done anonymously.

Consanguinamory Day is April 28 - Consider Making Plans

There are countless ways to observe or celebrate Consanguinamory Day, which falls each year on 4/28 or 28/4 depending on how you write dates. You still have time to make plans for this year's observance on the last Sunday of this month. Celebrate consanguinamory!

Bring up to the topic of consanguinamory and/or consanguinamorous people in your discussions.

Do something to advance rights.

Become an ally.

Come out as an ally to specific people you know.

Come out as an ally in general.

Come out as consanguinamorous.

Initiate consanguinamory into a relationship.

Rekindle a consanguinamorous relationship.

Celebrate your ongoing consanguinamorous relationship.

Display The Lily.

Start planning now! If you'd like to discuss your plans with Keith, contact him via email at fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com or on Wire at fullmarriageequality. You can also leave a comment with your plans or your suggestions to others by using the comments feature below.

Lesbian Visibility Week

A Happy Lesbian Visibility Week to all of our lesbian family and friends.

Monday, April 22 through Sunday, April 28, 2024 is a week to recognize and appreciate the lesbians of the world, who’ve contributed so much and endured so much.

Lesbian Visibility Week

Frequently Asked Question: Why Is Incest Illegal?

It shouldn’t be illegal anywhere, as you’ll see. As always, we note that we are talking about consensual incest (consanguinamory), such as between consenting adults, and between minors close in age. We are not talking about anything involving coercion or force or molestation. There are laws against rape, assault, and molestation, and they should remain. We are talking about consensual incest, consanguineous sex and marriage, and consanguinamory, whether initiated through Genetic Sexual Attraction or not.

Short answer: It isn’t illegal everywhere, but where it is, it is the lingering result of sex-police holdovers, superstition, prejudice, and legislative inertia.

Long answer:

If You Get Called to Jury Duty

What should you do if you are called to jury duty and are faced with being placed on a criminal case against someone you think is being prosecuted under an unjust law, such as a law against adult unmarried cohabitation, or against polyfidelity (as Utah has had on the books), or against consanguinamory? NOTE: THIS IS A PHILOSOPHICAL ESSAY, NOT LEGAL ADVICE.


The Basics of Criminal Case Juries in the US

Here in the US, people being accused of criminal activity have a right to a trial by jury or they can go with having a judge decide their case. If they go with a jury trial, the judge pretty much acts like a referee until the jury reaches a decision. The decision will be in the hands of the jury, not the judge. The judge should give you no indication of whether they think the defendant is guilty or not.

For a criminal conviction, the jury of twelve people has to unanimously decide the person on trial is "guilty" and it is supposed to be because the prosecution proved their case for guilt "beyond a reasonable doubt." If just one person (or, up to eleven people) on the jury says "not guilty" and won't budge, the case ends in a mistrial and the prosecutor can try again with another jury. If all twelve say "not guilty" then the accused is cleared of that crime and can't be retried for the same crime for the same incident. People can appeal after they've been convicted of a crime, but their appeal usually won't get them cleared.

Don't Like It? You Don't Have to Do It

I get all sorts of comments submitted to this blog, and send to me through other means. Some express prejudice and bigotry. From one of those...

I definitely believe it is disgusting and wrong for a father and daughter to have a sexual relationship. I thought it was illegal in most states no matter if it is consensual or not. I can’t imagine doing that.

Let's consider this statement closely.

I definitely believe it is disgusting and wrong for a father and daughter to have a sexual relationship.

What disgusts you can influence what you do. It should have no control over what anyone else does.

What would make it wrong for two (or more) individuals, who aren't cheating, who are capable of consenting, to consent to sex? Is sex itself wrong? Or do you believe that it is only right to have sex under certain conditions in addition to consent and being free to take on a new partner? What would those conditions be? Regardless, your claim that it is wrong shouldn't have power over the rights of anyone else.

I thought it was illegal in most states no matter if it is consensual or not.

Unconstitutional laws do still remain on the books that criminalize this in 48 states. That means in two states, there is no such law. What is your objection in those two states? Or the many countries with no ridiculous laws.to that effect?

I can’t imagine doing that.

Then don't. Nobody is saying you have to.

I can't imagine running a marathon. Does that mean nobody else should be free to do so?

The fact is, human sexuality and relationships are diverse. Not everyone is going to want the same things. And that's OK! There is no good reason to try to deny people the relationships to which they've mutually agreed.

There are women who have been consanguinamorous with their genetic fathers. Some have been together until their father's death, in a loving relationship with no regrets (other than not starting sooner). Why should they be denied their rights just because someone else doesn't like their love? There's no good reason.

We need to support relationship rights for all, and full marriage equality.

An Open Letter To Those Bothered By Our Existence

Are you bothered by our presence here? Do you find it disagreeable that this blog advocates for the rights of ALL ADULTS to live out their gender, sexuality, and relationship diversities with mutually CONSENTING ADULTS, or by themselves if they prefer? Are you bothered even though we are clearly NOT talking about abuse of anyone, especially not children, and we have explained that equality for all will actually help decrease abuse?

This blog has many followers. Most of the feedback and reaction we get is very positive and appreciative. There is a need for what we’re doing.

If you are bothered by this blog, which is here to advocate for equality and civil rights for all adults, there are many ways you can choose to react, some good and some terrible:

National Siblings Day

It’s National Siblings Day, at least here in the US. 

In keeping with the interests of this blog, we want to celebrate all people who love their siblings, especially if that includes supporting your sibling as they face discrimination for their gender identity,  their sexual or relationship orientations, or their relationships or sexuality.

We also want to celebrate all siblings in consanguinamorous relationships. For many of them, there is no more important person in the world than their sibling(s).

So if you have a good sibling, let them know you appreciate them.

Here's one of many interviews I've done with consanguinamorous siblings. There are more here.

If you have siblings or children or a parent or some other close relative or friends in such a sibling relationship, this is for you.

Sometimes middle-aged siblings experience a change in their relationship dynamic. Unfortunately, siblings are still denied their freedom to marry in most of the world.

Finally, there is some really wonderful, painfully realistic fiction about a sibling relationship.

Comment below or email fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com if you have something you want to share about your sibling(s).

Was There a History or a Missed Opportunity?

Engagements can change family dynamics.

BAFFLED BROTHER wrote to Dear Abby...

My little sister and I got along great as kids. We played together a lot, and even when we made new friends and grew different interests, we promised to always have each other's backs.

In high school, I befriended and eventually started dating a girl my family adored, my sister included. After nine years, we have finally become engaged, but now my sister has grown hostile toward us. She never hinted that she disliked my fiancee before, and nobody in our family can get a reason from her.

There are multiple possibilities. One is that his sister liked things the way they were, as they'd been going on for almost a decade; the engagement and planning for a married life means things will change, and she doesn't want them to change. Marriage legally makes the spouses next-of-kin. Until he's married, his parents and sister are his legal next-of-kin.

A possibility that can't help but come to mind on this blog is that the siblings have a history of intimacy and affection that this newer relationship ended, with a wedding likely to close the door entirely. Maybe the letter writer's emotions from those times were not as deep as his sister's? Maybe he saw it as just youthful experimentation and play, while she saw it, and still does, as more?

Maybe the sister has wanted to have more intimacy and affection with her brother, meaning the siblings have had a missed opportunity. That would definitely make sense out of her not telling anyone why she is "hostile."

It's possible the bride-to-be said something negative to the sister after the proposal, especially about how close sister and brother had been, and how that will never be the case again.

Whatever is the case, hopefully things will work out for the best.

Dear Abby advised that the brother talk with his sister one-on-one. That's a very good idea. But what if his sister confesses a strong consanguinamorous attraction to him? He should be prepared for that, as well as hearing some unpleasant observations about his intended.

In general, anyone who is going to legally marry should have discussed with their future spouse what the rules of the relationship are and will be about flirting, sex, romance, and general socialization with others, especially if they want the rules to be different than they've been for the many years they've already been together.

International Asexuality Day

International Asexuality Day is today, Saturday, April 6th.

Included in today's observance is demisexuality, grey-asexuality, and other ace idententites.

If you're an asexual, you are welcome here.

Asexuals aren't broken.

Asexuality exists.

Asexuality isn't a phase.

Asexuals can have meaningful relationships, including relationships that include sex.

Intergenerational Relationships Aren't Automatically Abusive

After I boosted my post "Intergenerational Relationships Can Work" on the Tumblr counterpart to this blog. (And again, we are talking about ADULTS.) This prompted someone to anonymously message that Tumblr blog...

Oh, hey! Somehow I didn't notice you supported intergenerational relationships, and I checked your answers to common objections and there was no reference to it, so may I direct you to a couple of links you might find interesting? They are against intergenerational relationships, but they might have notions you haven't considered.

From what I could see, the objections to intergenerational relationships (generally meaning 20 or more years difference in age) or even just age-gap relationships (less than 20, but, say ages 18 vs. 24 or 30 vs. 45) were all variations on the "power imbalance" argument.