The Best College Roommate Possible

We have another exclusive interview to bring you. As this interview is being published, there are many people still spending more time home with family members. Perhaps some of them will find this interview an inspiration? Or they can see this for some possibilities.

People in consanguinamorous relationships are everywhere, though consanguinamorists tend to be closeted. Fortunately, some are willing to be interviewed for this blog. As a result, Full Marriage Equality has featured scores of exclusive interviews with lovers denied the freedom to marry and have that marriage treated equally under the law. We've also interviewed people whose consanguineous sexual engagement ended on good terms.

The man interviewed below should've been free to legally marry his partner, or simply to be together as a couple without having to hide, yet they couldn't. They were consenting adults who didn't hurt anyone; why should they have been denied their rights? In much of the world, they could be criminally prosecuted for their love.

Read the interview below and see for yourself what this man has to say. You may think this relationship is interesting, or it might make you uncomfortable, or you might find it ideal, even highly erotic and romantic, but whatever your reaction, should lovers like these be denied equal access to marriage or any other rights simply because they love each other this way?

Also please note that someone you love, respect, and admire could be in a similar relationship right now. Should they be attacked and denied rights because of the "incest" label?

**WARNING: Mildly explicit descriptions of sex are included.**


*****


FULL MARRIAGE EQUALITY: Describe yourself.

Anonymous: I am an engineering professor, now married. I'm a white male with a Doctorate, a scuba diver, I am one of four siblings. My parents are upper middle class professionals. I live in a university town. I live with my wife and we have no children yet. My experiences relate to the time before I was married.

FME: How would you describe your sexual orientation and your relationship orientation?

I'm heterosexual with bicurious tendencies, and monogamous.


FME: You were in a sexual relationship with your sister? This is your full biological sister?

I was involved in a sexual relationship with  my older, full biological sister for three years.

FME: What was your childhood like? What was family life like? Were alternative lifestyles/sex discussed in your family, and if so, how? 

We were a close-knit family. Sex was never discussed in our family and I had to learn about the birds and bees from friends. I never had any sexual interaction with my sister, who is 18 months my senior, while we were living with our parents, although we would bathe together as youngsters  until she entered puberty and our parents decided that we should shower or bathe individually. 

FME: When and how did sexual affection become a part of the relationship?

My sister left for university after finishing high school. I followed one year later, and we became roommates sharing the same apartment. At first, the thought of entering into a sexual relationship with my sister never entered my mind, and, as she admitted later, nor hers. We dated others, although it was awkward to bring dates to the apartment for some private time, with my sister being there as well, although I had my own room, and vice-versa. 

After about three months, we had supper one Saturday evening, and opened a bottle of wine. We started talking about sex, which was a topic we often discussed quite openly with each other before, our former boyfriends and girlfriends, and what we regarded as the characteristics of an ideal partner. It was my sister who said "I would one day like to marry a guy like you: sexy, well-built, athletic, intelligent, kind..." 

I admitted to her that I regarded her as the ideal to strive for in a partner. It suddenly struck me that I regarded my sister as the ideal for a girlfriend: sexy, in-demand among the boys, beautiful, intelligent.

We were quite open in our discussion about sex and frustration of not being able to practice it as often as we wanted to, given our living conditions. Again, it was she who first used the word "incest". We went to her computer and watched a few sex videos of what were supposed to be siblings having sex, all obviously fake. Again, it was she who took the lead and said "We could try that..."

We talked about intrafamilial sex and the incest taboo for quite a while, and the topic drifted to consensual sex between siblings, and whether it is "wrong". Both agreed that we regarded the taboo as utterly outdated and not in accordance with today's norms. We toyed with the idea that the words "intrafamilial sex" should be used for consensual sex between siblings, since the word "incest" is associated with forced sex, rape, and abuse and has a negative connotation.

It suddenly became clear to both of us that each had the "ideal" partner available right under the same roof, and which could fulfill in our mutual needs to satisfy the high libido we were both blessed with.

We more or less at the same instant decided to "try it once", making love with each other, and if either had any hangups or regrets afterwards, would not do it again. The bottle of wine we shared did help to lower reservations. We also decided that should either get into a relationship with someone else, we would not continue any sexual interaction between ourselves. To some extent, we entered into a verbal contract, including to be faithful to each other. It was a rational discussion, to the fact, both realizing that as we are both blessed with a high libido, intrafamilial sex would satisfy in our mutual physical and emotional needs.

At his stage I was still a virgin, but my sister had lost her virginity to a boyfriend some years before, a guy she later described as a jerk. Much later she admitted that she would rather have lost her virginity to me, her brother.

FME: Can you describe what happened?

We decided to have a shower together, soaped in each other under the water, me taking time to soap in her boobs, she taking time to soap in my genitals. She asked if she could see my penis close-up, and I complied. She played with it, rolling back the foreskin, kissed me on the glans. By this time I had a huge erection. 

We embraced and kissed each other under the running water, and I realized that my glans was poised between the folds of her vulva.. Had I drawn her closer, I certainly would have entered her there under the shower. Instead, we decided to go to her room, got out from under the water, dried each other with towels, retired to her bed, and made love the first time.

To this day, that first time we made love still stands out as the most erotic experience of my life. Before entering her the first time, I still asked "Shall we?", whereupon the said "yes, yes". When I was fully inserted, I stopped momentarily and again asked whether I should proceed. Naively I thought that, had we stopped at that stage and I pulled out, it would not count as incest since we had not consummated our relationship. Even at that moment we were still worried about the incest taboo. It was my sister who insisted that we should continue.

We stopped movements a few times, wanting the first time to last forever, until eventually we experienced mutual orgasms. I will never forget the feeling.

Afterwards I rolled over and we laid physically coupled until we both fell asleep.


FME: Before this had you ever thought this would be possible or enjoyable; did you have any opinion one way or the other about close relatives or family members being together?

For both of us our first lovemaking experience with each other was somewhat spontaneous, unexpected and certainly unplanned. The next morning, still naked, we spoke at length about what we experienced the night before. Both of us realized that we had lost time not having made the move to become lovers earlier. Neither of us had any regret or hangup, and we agreed that we would continue making love for as long as both wanted it. We made love the second time before getting out of bed.

My sister went to the university clinic to get the morning after pill and went on the contraceptive pill to prevent an unwanted pregnancy.


FME: How would you describe the sex/lovemaking?

For both of us, our lovemaking was something beautiful, certainly not taboo, but very natural. It certainly was the best sex I ever had. That first moment we were coupled genitally stands out as the most erotic moment of my life, and I remember thinking: "Gosh, I am making love to my own sister." We never f---ed; we always made love.

FME: Was this siblings-with-benefits, or more like girlfriend/boyfriend, spouses, what? 

It was certainly a case of siblings-with-benefits: a contractual arrangement benefiting both. From the beginning we knew that it was a temporary arrangement which would some day, eventually, come to and end.

We made love just about daily, and more than once a day over weekends, after that first time. I moved to her bed and we shared a bed most nights. In public at university, and when visiting our parents during university holidays, we made certain never to hold hands, kiss, or show any affection. At university we made certain to date others, but remained faithful to each other, so as not to allow any suspicions about our intimate relationship.


FME: How long did it go on?

My sister completed her studies after three years, and accepted a job at a distant city. She met her present husband soon after, got married, and settled down. 


FME: Describe your relationship now. Do you think this made you closer as siblings? Better lovers? Are you still siblings or more like ex-lovers/lovers?

We are on the best of terms, and when we meet at family gatherings would share understanding stares, smiles - both fully realizing why we are smiling. We have talked, over the telephone mostly, about our relationship a number of times, thinking about a wonderful period of our lives. Given the chance, we would do it again, but such an opportunity just has not presented itself to us. Neither our spouses know, or will ever know, about the fact that the two of us were lovers.


FME: Does anyone in your life know the full, true nature/history of your relationship?

No friends ever indicated that they suspected anything going on between us. 

It was our mother who did indicate that she may be suspicious, During our first holidays home after we became lovers, Mother asked my sister whether she was using the contraceptive pill. Sister asked, in mock surprise, "Why on earth would you ask something like that, mother?"

To which Mother answered "Well, I know what you young people are up to nowadays. I don't want you to come home and tell me that you are pregnant, especially not by your brother."   

Sis allayed her fears and she never raised the topic again. Anyhow, if Mother knew, she certainly did not share her suspicions with our father, who would have freaked out. We never made love while we were staying with our parents during university holidays.


FME: What do you want to say to people who disapprove of your relationship, or disapprove of anyone having this kind of relationship?

What adults do consentually and in privacy is nobody else's business. There must be many sibling couples who are in an intimate relationship with each other, love each other, respect each other, and make love on a regular  basis. That is why we prefer to use the words "intrafamilial sex" in stead of "incest".


FME: If you could get legally married, and that included acceptance and protections against discrimination, harassment, etc., would you have? Or was this a different kind of relationship than that?

Ours was a different kind of relationship and of course we made out and kissed each other sensually like real lovers while we were making love, but we both knew that it would come to an end some day. Our relationship deepened and we became much closer together than we had ever been before. We'd often fought as siblings while living with our parents and before we became lovers. As lovers, we never really raised the topic of marrying each other, since in our country, it is illegal for siblings to marry.


FME: What advice do you have for someone who may be experiencing these feelings for a relative or family member, especially a sibling?

Any siblings who find themselves under the same conditions as we did at the beginning of our relationship should jump at the opportunity to become lovers. They are doing themselves a disfavor and are punishing themselves by remaining celibate just because of some outdated incest taboo.


FME: What advice do you have for family members and friends who think or know that siblings or other relatives they know are having these feelings for each other? 

Just let them be. Assist them and create opportunities for them to be private to do their own thing if they want to, and assist them by providing them with contraceptives. That is what responsible, modern, enlightened parents would do.

*****

Clearly, these lovers were consenting adults who weren't hurting anyone, and yet they wouldn't have even be able to exercise their basic human right to marry. They loved each other and were happy, yet they are denied fundamental rights. In many places in the world, they can't even be open about their history without risking prosecution!

Why should they be denied their rights? There’s no good reason.We need to recognize that all adults should be free to be with any and all consenting adults as they mutually consent, and part of doing that is adopting relationship rights for all, including full marriage equality sooner rather than later. People are being hurt because of a denial of their basic human rights to love each other freely.

You can read other interviews I have done here. As you'll see, there are people from all walks of life, around the world, who are in consanguinamorous relationships.

If you are in a relationship like this and are looking for help or others you can talk with, read this.

If you want to be interviewed about your "forbidden" relationship, or that of someone you know, connect with me by checking under the "Get Connected" tab there at the top of the page or emailing me at fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com or see here.

If you know someone who is in a relationship like this, please read this.

Thank you, for Anonymous, for doing this interview about your consanguinamorous relationship! We wish you well in your marriage and in your relationship with your sister.