People in consanguinamorous relationships are everywhere, though consanguinamorists tend to be closeted. Fortunately, some are willing to be interviewed for this blog. As a result, Full Marriage Equality has featured scores of exclusive interviews with lovers denied the freedom to marry and have that marriage treated equally under the law. Most can’t even be out of the closet or they’ll face prosecution under absurd incest laws, which, instead of focusing on abuse, also target consensual relationships.
The woman and man interviewed below should be free to legally marry each other, or simply to be together as a couple without having to hide, yet they can’t. Prejudice can be deadly. They are consenting adults who aren’t hurting anyone; why should they be denied their rights? In much of the world, including where they live, they could be criminally prosecuted for their love, and might be persecuted severely in addition.
Read the interview below and see for yourself what they have to say about the love they share with each other. You may think this relationship is interesting, or it might make you uncomfortable, or you might find it ideal, even highly erotic and romantic, but whatever your reaction, should lovers like these be denied equal access to marriage or any other rights simply because they love each other this way?
Also please note that someone you love, respect, and admire could be in a similar relationship right now. Should they be attacked and denied rights because of the "incest" label?
***Please be aware there are mild descriptions of sex and sexuality.***.
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FULL MARRIAGE EQUALITY: Describe yourselves.
Niece: I am a 34 year-old woman born as an only child. I live in a major city in the Southwest, and have a background in animal training, rescue, and rehabilitation work. I do not have any children, first by choice, second due to medical necessity. I am a highly artistic, spiritual and sensitive person, being an empath. I am especially aware of the feelings of anything around me, which includes animals and plants. My work includes animal medicine, and I work in multiple spiritual fields.
Uncle: I’m 63 years old. I have two sisters; one is estranged and one is a supporter of our relationship. That's my niece's mom. I was an electrician for 45 years. I am an avid motorcycle adventurist and am an ex-professional racer. I have two sons, aged 41 and 43, one son is supportive, and one is estranged. I'm semi-retired. My current hobbies are adventuring on motorcycles, carving walking sticks, playing with my animals, and anything spiritual and energetic healing related.
FME: Are you married or have you ever been married?
Niece: I was previously in a marriage for close to seven years. The marriage was physically, and emotionally abusive, and lacking physical touch for close to five years. As far as a union goes with my uncle, we view ourselves as married. We intend to have marriage ceremonies in every country we visit, and obtain marriage certificates in the countries where avunculate marriage is legal. We did perform a “statement of marriage” on the Kindred Spirits forum in 2021.
Uncle: My first prior marriage lasted 27 years, and my second prior marriage lasted 17 years. The first marriage happened when I was 17 years old. My second marriage was a rebound from my first marriage and was a mistake. Both marriages were a learning process for me.
We plan on having a wedding in a little town in Mexico where my niece can wear her dream dress and have the whole town in attendance and at the reception. I want to give her the most spectacular wedding ever.
Niece: I am a 34 year-old woman born as an only child. I live in a major city in the Southwest, and have a background in animal training, rescue, and rehabilitation work. I do not have any children, first by choice, second due to medical necessity. I am a highly artistic, spiritual and sensitive person, being an empath. I am especially aware of the feelings of anything around me, which includes animals and plants. My work includes animal medicine, and I work in multiple spiritual fields.
Uncle: I’m 63 years old. I have two sisters; one is estranged and one is a supporter of our relationship. That's my niece's mom. I was an electrician for 45 years. I am an avid motorcycle adventurist and am an ex-professional racer. I have two sons, aged 41 and 43, one son is supportive, and one is estranged. I'm semi-retired. My current hobbies are adventuring on motorcycles, carving walking sticks, playing with my animals, and anything spiritual and energetic healing related.
FME: Are you married or have you ever been married?
Niece: I was previously in a marriage for close to seven years. The marriage was physically, and emotionally abusive, and lacking physical touch for close to five years. As far as a union goes with my uncle, we view ourselves as married. We intend to have marriage ceremonies in every country we visit, and obtain marriage certificates in the countries where avunculate marriage is legal. We did perform a “statement of marriage” on the Kindred Spirits forum in 2021.
Uncle: My first prior marriage lasted 27 years, and my second prior marriage lasted 17 years. The first marriage happened when I was 17 years old. My second marriage was a rebound from my first marriage and was a mistake. Both marriages were a learning process for me.
We plan on having a wedding in a little town in Mexico where my niece can wear her dream dress and have the whole town in attendance and at the reception. I want to give her the most spectacular wedding ever.
FME: How would you describe your genders? How would you describe your sexual orientation and your relationship orientation... are you heterosexual, bisexual, what? Are you monogamous?
Niece: I was born, and identify as a woman. I am pansexual and demisexual. I am in a monogamous relationship with my uncle, and desire to keep it this way.
Uncle: I am heterosexual and demisexual male. I am monogamous and have never been with more than one person at once, and don’t plan on being.
FME: You currently live with... ?
Niece: I live with my uncle and our critters.
FME: You are in a sexual-romantic relationship with your uncle, meaning your biological mother's full or half biological brother?
Niece: Yes, I am in a sexual and highly romantic relationship with my mom’s full biological brother. It’s like the honeymoon phase with how tickled pink, and joyous we feel with each other all of the time, but the deep connection from being together for years.
FME: What was your childhood like? What was family life like? Were alternative lifestyles/sex discussed in your family, and if so, how? Can you describe your sexual awakening?
Niece: I grew up with quite a bit of trauma due to medical issues from birth, which continue to this day. My dad was out of the picture most of my life, and the relationship remains strained. My mom raised me as a single mother and we moved around a lot as 34 years ago. It was extremely difficult to make enough money to pay for all of the medical bills for a child with health issues, on top of the large cost of raising a child as a single parent. My mom worked really hard to put herself through school while raising me and made sure to enroll me in horse lessons to help the natural depression that arises in a child with an immense amount of medical conditions and complications.
I didn’t have a lot of friends because I could not attend school with being sick all of the time.
Family would visit off and on, but not on a regular basis. My mom raised me to view everyone as equal no matter their ethnicity, identified gender, or who they loved. Sex was not really discussed in our house until I was already active. I had a lot of shame and past relational trauma to recover from when I first connected with my uncle. Even though I had previous sexual relationships, I did not start learning about myself, or that pleasure was even possible with sex, until discovering the passion I have with my uncle. I had my first orgasm with him, at age 31.
Uncle: My dad was 17 and my mom was 14 when they had me. My dad went into the Army before I was born. I was the first child born of three. After my dad came back from his deployment he was abusive to everyone in the house, which ended in their divorce. We were really poor and lived on food stamps and hand-me-downs. My mom came out as a lesbian at age 24 so I was exposed to that kind of alternative lifestyle.
I was a late bloomer, even though married at 17, and having sex, I actually didn’t bloom into my sexual being until I was with my niece at age 60. I would say that the marriages I had, there was always guilt and shame right along with anything sexual. My sex life now with my niece is nothing short of spectacular. I didn’t know this kind of connection, and this kind of pleasure existed.
FME: Please describe how often you’d see him and how much time you’d spend together while you were growing up, and what that was like. Did you have a crush on him or an attraction to him? (You indicated proximity changed when you were 9. How did you get back together?)
Niece: I had a lot of medical trauma as a child, so much of my childhood is missing from my memories. I recall some vague memories with my uncle and his family, but not very many. The brevity of my uncle moving away when I was nine was so great, I now wonder if it was the cause of an auto-immune disease that developed the same year he moved away.
I do not recall a crush when I was a young girl, but in 2007 when my uncle came to visit my mom and me, and we were all sitting eating pizza at a restaurant, I remember telling my mom, in front of my uncle, “I need someone like Uncle to be in a relationship with. He is perfect.” I didn’t think anything of it at all, or that that “should” have been weird by societal standards.
Every time my uncle would visit us - I lived with my mom back then - I would get really big butterflies in my stomach, I would turn red, and become really shy. I thought it was just because I hadn’t seen him in a while, and I was being nervous about seeing someone after so long, but I now realize it was because an attraction was building. This was at age 19.
I saw my Uncle again in 2009 for a motorcycle rally, and he took me for a ride on his Vespa. It felt like a magic carpet ride, and I never wanted the ride to end. I wrapped my arms around his chest, and felt so happy.
In 2015, I had to have an amputation, and my mom told me my Uncle would be in attendance for the surgery. I had no idea why he would attend, but was so happy to hear. I spent the night prior to my amputation out on the town with my uncle and mom. My ex-husband must have been working. I remember feeling calmed by my uncle and comforted more by him, than my then husband. Uncle stayed for my amputation, and was a huge advocate for me when hospital staff wouldn’t listen to me about my pain level. Only with the help of my uncle advocating for me, did staff check and locate my pain pump on my nerves was not connected correctly.
Fast forward to winter 2018 when my Uncle was in town. My best friend and I went to see my uncle and his son. Again, I was super duper nervous, had butterflies, but chalked it up to just nerves from not seeing them in a while. I felt so giddy, and so happy. My uncle and I started texting on a semi-regular basis after this visit. We would joke around a lot, and I felt like there was a flirtatious undertone, but didn’t think anything of it, since we are both naturally flirtatious people.
In 2019, when I found out my ex-husband wanted a divorce, my uncle happened to be in town again. We met to eat brunch, my uncle was walking towards me with my cousin and a couple of friends of theirs. It is as if time slowed down, and my uncle was walking a foot off the ground. He visually looked like he was sparkling. I couldn’t see anything or anyone other than my Uncle, and I feel like his pants looked like they were moving with wind. To this day, I recall exactly how he looked, and how I felt. It was magical.
Niece: I was born, and identify as a woman. I am pansexual and demisexual. I am in a monogamous relationship with my uncle, and desire to keep it this way.
Uncle: I am heterosexual and demisexual male. I am monogamous and have never been with more than one person at once, and don’t plan on being.
FME: You currently live with... ?
Niece: I live with my uncle and our critters.
FME: You are in a sexual-romantic relationship with your uncle, meaning your biological mother's full or half biological brother?
Niece: Yes, I am in a sexual and highly romantic relationship with my mom’s full biological brother. It’s like the honeymoon phase with how tickled pink, and joyous we feel with each other all of the time, but the deep connection from being together for years.
FME: What was your childhood like? What was family life like? Were alternative lifestyles/sex discussed in your family, and if so, how? Can you describe your sexual awakening?
Niece: I grew up with quite a bit of trauma due to medical issues from birth, which continue to this day. My dad was out of the picture most of my life, and the relationship remains strained. My mom raised me as a single mother and we moved around a lot as 34 years ago. It was extremely difficult to make enough money to pay for all of the medical bills for a child with health issues, on top of the large cost of raising a child as a single parent. My mom worked really hard to put herself through school while raising me and made sure to enroll me in horse lessons to help the natural depression that arises in a child with an immense amount of medical conditions and complications.
I didn’t have a lot of friends because I could not attend school with being sick all of the time.
Family would visit off and on, but not on a regular basis. My mom raised me to view everyone as equal no matter their ethnicity, identified gender, or who they loved. Sex was not really discussed in our house until I was already active. I had a lot of shame and past relational trauma to recover from when I first connected with my uncle. Even though I had previous sexual relationships, I did not start learning about myself, or that pleasure was even possible with sex, until discovering the passion I have with my uncle. I had my first orgasm with him, at age 31.
Uncle: My dad was 17 and my mom was 14 when they had me. My dad went into the Army before I was born. I was the first child born of three. After my dad came back from his deployment he was abusive to everyone in the house, which ended in their divorce. We were really poor and lived on food stamps and hand-me-downs. My mom came out as a lesbian at age 24 so I was exposed to that kind of alternative lifestyle.
I was a late bloomer, even though married at 17, and having sex, I actually didn’t bloom into my sexual being until I was with my niece at age 60. I would say that the marriages I had, there was always guilt and shame right along with anything sexual. My sex life now with my niece is nothing short of spectacular. I didn’t know this kind of connection, and this kind of pleasure existed.
FME: Please describe how often you’d see him and how much time you’d spend together while you were growing up, and what that was like. Did you have a crush on him or an attraction to him? (You indicated proximity changed when you were 9. How did you get back together?)
Niece: I had a lot of medical trauma as a child, so much of my childhood is missing from my memories. I recall some vague memories with my uncle and his family, but not very many. The brevity of my uncle moving away when I was nine was so great, I now wonder if it was the cause of an auto-immune disease that developed the same year he moved away.
I do not recall a crush when I was a young girl, but in 2007 when my uncle came to visit my mom and me, and we were all sitting eating pizza at a restaurant, I remember telling my mom, in front of my uncle, “I need someone like Uncle to be in a relationship with. He is perfect.” I didn’t think anything of it at all, or that that “should” have been weird by societal standards.
Every time my uncle would visit us - I lived with my mom back then - I would get really big butterflies in my stomach, I would turn red, and become really shy. I thought it was just because I hadn’t seen him in a while, and I was being nervous about seeing someone after so long, but I now realize it was because an attraction was building. This was at age 19.
I saw my Uncle again in 2009 for a motorcycle rally, and he took me for a ride on his Vespa. It felt like a magic carpet ride, and I never wanted the ride to end. I wrapped my arms around his chest, and felt so happy.
In 2015, I had to have an amputation, and my mom told me my Uncle would be in attendance for the surgery. I had no idea why he would attend, but was so happy to hear. I spent the night prior to my amputation out on the town with my uncle and mom. My ex-husband must have been working. I remember feeling calmed by my uncle and comforted more by him, than my then husband. Uncle stayed for my amputation, and was a huge advocate for me when hospital staff wouldn’t listen to me about my pain level. Only with the help of my uncle advocating for me, did staff check and locate my pain pump on my nerves was not connected correctly.
Fast forward to winter 2018 when my Uncle was in town. My best friend and I went to see my uncle and his son. Again, I was super duper nervous, had butterflies, but chalked it up to just nerves from not seeing them in a while. I felt so giddy, and so happy. My uncle and I started texting on a semi-regular basis after this visit. We would joke around a lot, and I felt like there was a flirtatious undertone, but didn’t think anything of it, since we are both naturally flirtatious people.
In 2019, when I found out my ex-husband wanted a divorce, my uncle happened to be in town again. We met to eat brunch, my uncle was walking towards me with my cousin and a couple of friends of theirs. It is as if time slowed down, and my uncle was walking a foot off the ground. He visually looked like he was sparkling. I couldn’t see anything or anyone other than my Uncle, and I feel like his pants looked like they were moving with wind. To this day, I recall exactly how he looked, and how I felt. It was magical.
I cried over my impending divorce, but was not sad about the divorce, but rather all of the wasted years on a marriage that was not happy. Then, that was it. My uncle, who was going through his own divorce at the time, and I started texting, and even talking on the phone almost non-stop. Two weeks later, out of nowhere I asked my Uncle via text “Are we going to f---?” I have no idea where the courage to ask that came from, and it truly felt like it took years to receive a response from him. I thought to myself “Either this will happen, or I will block his number, pretend this never happened and never speak of it to anyone.”
His text back to me said “Yes.” I became so elated that when I read his text message, I got out of my truck and left the door open to my truck as I walked into the grocery store. I had to go back to shut the door. I couldn’t think very clearly about anything other than being extremely excited. We texted at all hours, and I didn’t get much sleep for the two week wait period until I got to see him in person again. When we met up in my city, he walked right up to me in my truck and gave me a kiss. He said that if he hadn’t, he would have been too nervous to do anything. We then went back to where he was staying in town, and we proceeded to make love for nearly a week straight. The only time we left the bed was to eat, shower, and wash clothes.
Uncle: When my niece was young I looked at her like a little girl. There was no sexual attraction at all. I moved away for many years and didn’t see my niece very often. I didn’t see her as a sexual being, just a little girl, or teen.
I saw her in 2009 when she was 21. I was stopping by my sister’s house on a motorcycle trip and saw my niece walking from the bathroom to her bedroom with just an oversized shirt on without any underwear on. I could see the silhouette of her boobs and butt and it took my breath away. I had seen many butts and boobs in my life and they had never done that to me. I never felt like that after seeing other boobs and butts. I was mortified that I found her highly sexually attractive. She then became the source of my fantasies for years to come. At the same time, I was feeling horrible that I would even think of her like that and that I could be attracted to my niece. I struggled with the dark side and the light side feeling guilty about even looking, yet so excited to see her again I couldn’t stop myself from thinking about her.
In 2015, my sister told me my niece was going in to have her leg amputated and I was so worried I took a week’s worth of work off and rode my bike to the town where the hospital was, to be around my niece, worried sick that something may go wrong. While they were prepping her for surgery and she was in her gown on her bed, she was moving around to get comfortable and the gown slid up and I could see her entire p---y. I felt my face turn flush and she said “Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t shave.” I had to walk outside. I thought “Did she just say she was sorry for not shaving her p---y while I was looking at it? I’m her uncle for Christ’s sake.”
I had to walk around outside for an hour to regain my composure before I could go back in. The surgery went well and I stayed for two or three days after then went back home with a brand new vision to go along with my seeing her in her oversize tee-shirt walking from the bathroom to the bedroom. A whole new level of guilt came in, and I felt like I shouldn’t be thinking about my niece like this.
His text back to me said “Yes.” I became so elated that when I read his text message, I got out of my truck and left the door open to my truck as I walked into the grocery store. I had to go back to shut the door. I couldn’t think very clearly about anything other than being extremely excited. We texted at all hours, and I didn’t get much sleep for the two week wait period until I got to see him in person again. When we met up in my city, he walked right up to me in my truck and gave me a kiss. He said that if he hadn’t, he would have been too nervous to do anything. We then went back to where he was staying in town, and we proceeded to make love for nearly a week straight. The only time we left the bed was to eat, shower, and wash clothes.
Uncle: When my niece was young I looked at her like a little girl. There was no sexual attraction at all. I moved away for many years and didn’t see my niece very often. I didn’t see her as a sexual being, just a little girl, or teen.
I saw her in 2009 when she was 21. I was stopping by my sister’s house on a motorcycle trip and saw my niece walking from the bathroom to her bedroom with just an oversized shirt on without any underwear on. I could see the silhouette of her boobs and butt and it took my breath away. I had seen many butts and boobs in my life and they had never done that to me. I never felt like that after seeing other boobs and butts. I was mortified that I found her highly sexually attractive. She then became the source of my fantasies for years to come. At the same time, I was feeling horrible that I would even think of her like that and that I could be attracted to my niece. I struggled with the dark side and the light side feeling guilty about even looking, yet so excited to see her again I couldn’t stop myself from thinking about her.
In 2015, my sister told me my niece was going in to have her leg amputated and I was so worried I took a week’s worth of work off and rode my bike to the town where the hospital was, to be around my niece, worried sick that something may go wrong. While they were prepping her for surgery and she was in her gown on her bed, she was moving around to get comfortable and the gown slid up and I could see her entire p---y. I felt my face turn flush and she said “Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t shave.” I had to walk outside. I thought “Did she just say she was sorry for not shaving her p---y while I was looking at it? I’m her uncle for Christ’s sake.”
I had to walk around outside for an hour to regain my composure before I could go back in. The surgery went well and I stayed for two or three days after then went back home with a brand new vision to go along with my seeing her in her oversize tee-shirt walking from the bathroom to the bedroom. A whole new level of guilt came in, and I felt like I shouldn’t be thinking about my niece like this.
Fast forward several years and I met my niece and her husband for breakfast in their town, and that started the connection that couldn’t be broken.
Later that year my niece came up to a job I was working on with her friend and we all went out to dinner; my son, her friend and us. We all hung out for three days, and during that time I drove with my niece to the movies and my son drove with her best friend to the movies. It was the very first time we had ever been alone together, and that is when the words flew out of my mouth that I wanted to have sex with someone just like my niece before I die; a super-sensitive person who is also an empath like I am. I really didn’t mean it to sound like I wanted to have sex with her, just someone like her, but after reflecting on it I would have liked to have a relationship with her.
Later that year my niece came up to a job I was working on with her friend and we all went out to dinner; my son, her friend and us. We all hung out for three days, and during that time I drove with my niece to the movies and my son drove with her best friend to the movies. It was the very first time we had ever been alone together, and that is when the words flew out of my mouth that I wanted to have sex with someone just like my niece before I die; a super-sensitive person who is also an empath like I am. I really didn’t mean it to sound like I wanted to have sex with her, just someone like her, but after reflecting on it I would have liked to have a relationship with her.
I had to go back to my house out of state all the while going through a divorce. My next trip back to my niece’s area we all met for breakfast; my son, niece and her best friend. That's where she told me her husband asked for a divorce. I thought to myself “How can anyone divorce anyone this beautiful, with this kind of heart and soul?” To add insult to injury, apparently he had been having affairs for years. We spent quite a bit of time together over the week alone, and I consoled her until I once again had to leave. So far, nothing sexual. No kissing or anything. No touching or kissing.
While at my home out of state we talked on the phone a lot, and texted all of the time. That is when she asked me over a text if we were going to f---. I about dropped my phone. Everything was running through my head all at once. “I am twice her age. She’s my niece. This shouldn’t be happening.” Before more than a few minutes went by, I typed back “Yes.” I sat there waiting with my heart pounding in my chest for the next text to come through; the longest five seconds of my life. I could tell she was as nervous as I was, but we made plans to meet in two weeks.
FME: When did you notice an attraction? What first attracted you to him?
Niece: I recall thinking my uncle looked so sexy in his motorcycle gear when he would ride through town starting around age 19, I think. Looking back, it is surprising I never made the connection to the attraction. Why else would I think he was sexy looking in his gear? I guess because he is an uncle, I simply never took the time to slow down long enough to ask why I was so attracted to him. I guess with all of the occasional visits over the years, my attraction to him was slow because I simply wasn’t paying attention to what I was feeling inside.
I knew it would turn sexual when I asked via text if we were going to “f---” After he said “Yes” to my question, I was suddenly wildly, and what seemed instantly, in love with everything about him. A switch had been flipped with his response to my question, and suddenly no one else on the planet was as beautiful and attractive to me as my uncle.
I am the one who made the first move with the text message. He did send me the Adele song ‘Skyfall” when it came out, and I listened to that song on repeat for several weeks, every single day. My attraction to him would be from multiple aspects. The first noticeable thing is that he is hilarious. Anyone that can leave my face hurting from laughing so hard, is attractive to me. His heart and compassion to everyone around him, humans and animals alike, was/is extremely attractive. His body type is incredible. I felt safe around him, for the first time in my life. Lastly, his adventurous soul. He has been traveling the world on his motorcycle since I was a little girl, which I have loved because I also love adventure.
Uncle: The day came that we were going to meet, and I am surprised I got there in one piece because I couldn’t concentrate on driving, I was so excited. I decided that as soon as I saw her I was going to give her a kiss, otherwise I would be too shy and frozen to do anything. I walked up to her truck and gave her a kiss. I don’t know who was more red in the face, me or her. We bought some groceries and headed to my place I was staying in town. When we got there I don’t even remember taking my clothes off, and I don’t remember her taking off hers either. All I remember was making love in the most passionate form I had ever had in my life for what seemed like hours, then days, only stopping to drink, eat, and take a shower, then right back at it. I literally could not stop making love to her. I am typically very shy and modest and I didn’t have a good self body image so for me to be naked, making love, sitting around talking with no clothes on, was completely out of my norm. I’ve never felt so comfortable with anyone else in a relationship, like this; and I still feel this way close to four years later. It feels absolutely natural.
My last relationship it took me a month of living with her before I could even have sex with them, and probably another month before I had an orgasm. With my niece, I had an orgasm the very first time we made love, and had several orgasms a day for the next week. That was the start of having several orgasms a day for years. My ex-wife had me convinced that I had erectile dysfunction needing medication to have sex, and I totally believed her because I could not get an erection with her without pills. You can imagine my shock when I basically had an erection lasting a week, and then on to the next month, and years to come. I'm happy to report I’m healthy. So for all you men out there who may think you have E.D., you may just need the right partner, like I have now.
What got my attention to my niece is her soft heart, sense of humor and giant boobs.
FME: Can you elaborate on your feelings during that process? How about “the day after”? How did that go? How were you feeling?
Niece: I felt more excited, and happier than I ever had in my life. It’s as if my whole entire life now made sense. Since I was a little girl, I used to stare up at the Moon, and feel this deep sadness, and longing. It felt like I was missing something that I had no idea what it was, but whatever I was missing, was so deep. I spent all of my life searching for this unknown piece, and I finally found it with my uncle. I felt whole for the first time. Not in a co-dependent sort of way as if I were un-whole previously, but as if the other part of me was finally clicked into place.
Right after making love for the first time, and the following day, everything was so natural. We both walked around naked, not embarrassed by being seen by one another, and we were both full of smiles, and giddy. I had never been with someone where everything felt so natural, and so easy. It felt as if we had always been together, romantically.
I didn’t know we were going to be in a relationship. My uncle states he does not become sexually intimate with anyone unless he’s in a serious relationship with them, and in love with them, however I didn’t know this, and I thought it may be a one-time experience that week we spent together. I thought we would go our separate ways, and never tell anyone. I never could have imagined that this would turn into something so serious, and being connected with him during that week we spent together was so incredible, that I would have rather experienced it, walk away from that, than to have never experienced it at all.
Uncle: I never touched the ground for at least 60 days after we first made love. I was convinced it was destiny that we were both in the process of being divorced and it felt so natural. Nothing had ever felt so natural in my life with anyone, yet at the same time, tons of guilt around being related, and me being twice her age, knowing that if we fell in love further, she would have to live a lot of this life alone because I wouldn’t live as long as she will. That felt selfish to me. I also worried about being judged by other people a lot, because of the large age difference. Our society looks at young women with older men as gold diggers, even though there was no gold to dig.
FME: Before this had you ever thought this would be possible or enjoyable; did you have any opinion one way or the other about close relatives or family members being together?
Niece: I never thought about this type of relationship for myself, and had heard from a close friend years ago that she and her brother would go down on each other when they were younger while their parents were fighting. I remember thinking it was kind of weird, but assumed it was a trauma response to what was happening in the household. Beyond that, I didn’t think of relative relationships for myself.
I grew up having a major crush on a cousin, my mom's sister's son. We would flirt with each other constantly, and I even have a picture of us at age five where I am leaning way over to be near him in the picture. I always felt really happy in his presence, and my mom thinks we may have kissed on the lips, but I don’t really recall. I also thought my cousins, meaning my uncle's sons, were hot when I was a teenager. I did have some attraction to one of those cousins when I first got into a relationship with my uncle, and thought it would be very exciting to have sex with him. I even fantasized about being with both of them at the same time, but it was a fleeting thought and the “desire” went away as my relationship developed with my uncle. The son looks like my uncle, and is also funny, so essentially, he was a mini-me of who I was falling in love with.
Uncle: I had never thought about it, and I don’t think I had an opinion one way or another. I am pretty much a live and let-live person, so I don’t think it would have bothered me one way or another. I have always been open-minded. I had no prior experience with any relatives.
FME: How do you describe the sex/lovemaking now? Taboo? Natural? Especially erotic? Some people say familial eroticism is inherently kinky, but I have found that for many it doesn't feel kinky. What about for you?
Niece: This relationship is the first sexual relationship I have ever been in where it is lovemaking, and not just f---ing to f---. It is deeply passionate, and intimate in all ways. So natural, there is nothing that I have to hide, and this is the first relationship I’ve been in, where I actually feel safe enough to express my desires, and lean into the pleasure.
I had never had orgasms with anyone before. It doesn’t feel taboo to me, because unless we think about it, my uncle doesn’t feel like my uncle at all. He feels like my husband, and as if we have been together for eternity.
I am the one who made the first move with the text message. He did send me the Adele song ‘Skyfall” when it came out, and I listened to that song on repeat for several weeks, every single day. My attraction to him would be from multiple aspects. The first noticeable thing is that he is hilarious. Anyone that can leave my face hurting from laughing so hard, is attractive to me. His heart and compassion to everyone around him, humans and animals alike, was/is extremely attractive. His body type is incredible. I felt safe around him, for the first time in my life. Lastly, his adventurous soul. He has been traveling the world on his motorcycle since I was a little girl, which I have loved because I also love adventure.
Uncle: The day came that we were going to meet, and I am surprised I got there in one piece because I couldn’t concentrate on driving, I was so excited. I decided that as soon as I saw her I was going to give her a kiss, otherwise I would be too shy and frozen to do anything. I walked up to her truck and gave her a kiss. I don’t know who was more red in the face, me or her. We bought some groceries and headed to my place I was staying in town. When we got there I don’t even remember taking my clothes off, and I don’t remember her taking off hers either. All I remember was making love in the most passionate form I had ever had in my life for what seemed like hours, then days, only stopping to drink, eat, and take a shower, then right back at it. I literally could not stop making love to her. I am typically very shy and modest and I didn’t have a good self body image so for me to be naked, making love, sitting around talking with no clothes on, was completely out of my norm. I’ve never felt so comfortable with anyone else in a relationship, like this; and I still feel this way close to four years later. It feels absolutely natural.
My last relationship it took me a month of living with her before I could even have sex with them, and probably another month before I had an orgasm. With my niece, I had an orgasm the very first time we made love, and had several orgasms a day for the next week. That was the start of having several orgasms a day for years. My ex-wife had me convinced that I had erectile dysfunction needing medication to have sex, and I totally believed her because I could not get an erection with her without pills. You can imagine my shock when I basically had an erection lasting a week, and then on to the next month, and years to come. I'm happy to report I’m healthy. So for all you men out there who may think you have E.D., you may just need the right partner, like I have now.
What got my attention to my niece is her soft heart, sense of humor and giant boobs.
FME: Can you elaborate on your feelings during that process? How about “the day after”? How did that go? How were you feeling?
Niece: I felt more excited, and happier than I ever had in my life. It’s as if my whole entire life now made sense. Since I was a little girl, I used to stare up at the Moon, and feel this deep sadness, and longing. It felt like I was missing something that I had no idea what it was, but whatever I was missing, was so deep. I spent all of my life searching for this unknown piece, and I finally found it with my uncle. I felt whole for the first time. Not in a co-dependent sort of way as if I were un-whole previously, but as if the other part of me was finally clicked into place.
Right after making love for the first time, and the following day, everything was so natural. We both walked around naked, not embarrassed by being seen by one another, and we were both full of smiles, and giddy. I had never been with someone where everything felt so natural, and so easy. It felt as if we had always been together, romantically.
I didn’t know we were going to be in a relationship. My uncle states he does not become sexually intimate with anyone unless he’s in a serious relationship with them, and in love with them, however I didn’t know this, and I thought it may be a one-time experience that week we spent together. I thought we would go our separate ways, and never tell anyone. I never could have imagined that this would turn into something so serious, and being connected with him during that week we spent together was so incredible, that I would have rather experienced it, walk away from that, than to have never experienced it at all.
Uncle: I never touched the ground for at least 60 days after we first made love. I was convinced it was destiny that we were both in the process of being divorced and it felt so natural. Nothing had ever felt so natural in my life with anyone, yet at the same time, tons of guilt around being related, and me being twice her age, knowing that if we fell in love further, she would have to live a lot of this life alone because I wouldn’t live as long as she will. That felt selfish to me. I also worried about being judged by other people a lot, because of the large age difference. Our society looks at young women with older men as gold diggers, even though there was no gold to dig.
FME: Before this had you ever thought this would be possible or enjoyable; did you have any opinion one way or the other about close relatives or family members being together?
Niece: I never thought about this type of relationship for myself, and had heard from a close friend years ago that she and her brother would go down on each other when they were younger while their parents were fighting. I remember thinking it was kind of weird, but assumed it was a trauma response to what was happening in the household. Beyond that, I didn’t think of relative relationships for myself.
I grew up having a major crush on a cousin, my mom's sister's son. We would flirt with each other constantly, and I even have a picture of us at age five where I am leaning way over to be near him in the picture. I always felt really happy in his presence, and my mom thinks we may have kissed on the lips, but I don’t really recall. I also thought my cousins, meaning my uncle's sons, were hot when I was a teenager. I did have some attraction to one of those cousins when I first got into a relationship with my uncle, and thought it would be very exciting to have sex with him. I even fantasized about being with both of them at the same time, but it was a fleeting thought and the “desire” went away as my relationship developed with my uncle. The son looks like my uncle, and is also funny, so essentially, he was a mini-me of who I was falling in love with.
Uncle: I had never thought about it, and I don’t think I had an opinion one way or another. I am pretty much a live and let-live person, so I don’t think it would have bothered me one way or another. I have always been open-minded. I had no prior experience with any relatives.
FME: How do you describe the sex/lovemaking now? Taboo? Natural? Especially erotic? Some people say familial eroticism is inherently kinky, but I have found that for many it doesn't feel kinky. What about for you?
Niece: This relationship is the first sexual relationship I have ever been in where it is lovemaking, and not just f---ing to f---. It is deeply passionate, and intimate in all ways. So natural, there is nothing that I have to hide, and this is the first relationship I’ve been in, where I actually feel safe enough to express my desires, and lean into the pleasure.
I had never had orgasms with anyone before. It doesn’t feel taboo to me, because unless we think about it, my uncle doesn’t feel like my uncle at all. He feels like my husband, and as if we have been together for eternity.
Being together doesn’t feel kinky to me, however we do sometimes have very primal sex, which in and of itself, can be seen as kinky. That includes biting, sucking, holding onto firmly, him lifting my body and moving me really quickly with his strength, which always takes my breath away. We are always discovering great new positions on accident, and I think we are just really starting to get going on some of the kinkier things we are naturally discovering we love, that we had no idea are things we are into.
It's incredible to feel so free with someone that no matter what desire pops up for us, the other is supportive, and we share such a safe space together that we feel free to express anything that comes up for us. We have discovered things we like that we had no idea existed. This is the best sex I have ever had, and sex seems like such a dismal word for the connection we share, and maintain together. I have full body orgasms, and even what feels like “out-of-body” orgasms where its like I am not even in my body for hours afterwards. We make love at least every day, unless we are sick or stressed out, but our favorite days are when we have a little bit of sex all day long. We are both highly sexual beings, and being matched on our desire is like nothing I have ever experienced before.
It's incredible to feel so free with someone that no matter what desire pops up for us, the other is supportive, and we share such a safe space together that we feel free to express anything that comes up for us. We have discovered things we like that we had no idea existed. This is the best sex I have ever had, and sex seems like such a dismal word for the connection we share, and maintain together. I have full body orgasms, and even what feels like “out-of-body” orgasms where its like I am not even in my body for hours afterwards. We make love at least every day, unless we are sick or stressed out, but our favorite days are when we have a little bit of sex all day long. We are both highly sexual beings, and being matched on our desire is like nothing I have ever experienced before.
I had previously been told I am too sexual, and like sex far more than women “should.” I was shamed for it. My uncle has been told he is too sexual in his past, but it turns out, we just needed the right partner to express ourselves in this manner.
Uncle: Our love making now is even better than it was almost four years ago, if that’s possible. I suppose it is because we are more relaxed and in love than ever. My sex life would be the envy of every man on the planet. Not a day goes by that I don’t understand how lucky I am. Even our quick sessions are passionate, and full of love. I truly believe we don’t have sex, we make love, always. The sex is the most freeing, non-judgemental sex I have ever had. After years of making love, we relax more into each other’s love which makes the love making sessions even better. We're free to explore fantasies, ideas, and dreams with each other. There is nothing we can’t talk about. It always feels erotic, and doesn’t feel taboo. I rarely think of her as my niece, only my wife. I literally think she is the sexiest woman alive. If I died tomorrow, these last few years have been the most fun and loving part of my whole life, and also my greatest adventure.
FME: Describe your relationship now. Is this a marriage, a union, girlfriend and boyfriend, what?
Niece: We are most like spouses, and see ourselves as married. We refer to each other as husband and wife. But really, he is my soul companion.
Uncle: To me it's a marriage; we are husband and wife. We have been together almost four years now. We don’t see each other as uncle and niece.
FME: Do you literally sleep together, or what are the sleeping arrangements?
Niece: We sleep side by side, but in separate beds for several reasons. I am a bed and blanket hog. Our beds are touching so we can touch each other in the night, or even make love in the middle of the night, which is my favorite. The second reason is that having our own beds and blankets is a safety measure should anyone ever come to our house to question us. Luckily, we also have documented that he is my caretaker. I have lots of medical issues and it would be unsafe for me to sleep alone.
FME: Does anyone in your life know the full, true nature of your relationship and how did they find out? How have they reacted? What kind of steps, if any, have you had to take to keep your privacy?
Niece: My mom is the first person we told, and though she thought it was really weird in the beginning, and even gross, she now fully supports us, and says for the first time in my life, she doesn’t worry about me. She knows I am safe, and happy. My mom says she has never seen either one of us so happy. I then told my best friend, who said she was happy for us, and “love is love.” We have told another mutual friend who didn’t seem to judge us, and my uncle's sons also know. They were first both really accepting of our relationship, then both sons grew to dislike the relationship, likely because they had thought this would be fleeting. One son came around and is being nice again, while the other son completely took himself out of our lives and will not allow anyone in his household to see us. When we see him in town, he refuses to even acknowledge we exist, which is deeply sad, but his choice.
My uncle’s best friend, and another one of his friends also know, and both are supportive.
We were shocked at just how many people don’t seem to care at all. We now don’t tell anyone about us for safety reasons after the one son left our lives. It is not safe to do so, because they tend to be gossipers.
As far as keeping our privacy, on social media I refer to my uncle as “my partner,” or “soul partner.” I never mention his name or relation to me. When people ask me if I am in a relationship and they know my relation to my uncle, I just state that I am choosing to stay single after my divorce. We are not a couple where we live now, but do act as a couple out of state. We also do not share the same last name. We don’t post pictures of us together online, either.
Uncle: It used to feel funny talking to my sister, knowing that I am with her daughter, but now it feels normal. My sons tolerated what I was doing, all the while judging me. One has decided to not be associated with us any longer, while the other is trying his best to understand, but it is hard for him also. My two good friends both know, and both of them said they didn’t care, whatever made me happy. We try not to do any public displays of affection in the town we live in now. We are making plans to move to a bigger city where we can live as husband and wife openly for the rest of our lives.
FME: Having to hide the full nature of your relationship from some people can be a disadvantage. Can you describe how that has been? Are there any other disadvantages? Conversely, do you think consanguineous relationships have some advantages and some things better than unrelated lovers?
Niece: It has been a huge disadvantage because I want to tell everyone about the incredible union I am in. I wish everyone on the planet could know what it is like to be in this type of relationship. We have nearly identical passions, tastes in things, almost absolutely everything we each love, the other loves. To have this connection, and deep intimacy is far beyond the best romance movies that exist. I don’t think words actually exist in the human language that can describe what this relationship feels like.
To not be able to tell others about us, is sad. I wish everyone this level of intimacy, connection, and unparalleled love. If I could give each person in the world one thing, it would be this type of love.
Knowing what I know now, I realize that this closeness is only available to those in consang relationships. It is extremely rare to find non-consang relationships where the partners are this in love, and this close, forever feeling as if we are in the honeymoon stage, falling deeper and deeper in love as time beats on. This would be the advantage of this type of relationship. Of course this exists outside of this dynamic for some, but it is so rare to hear of or witness. For example, somehow people know we are together. Complete strangers in stores will walk up to us and say “He went that way,” or “He’s over there.” When we have split up in a store to get separate items, and I am looking for him. I won’t even ask these people where my uncle is, they just walk up to me and tell me he’s on a certain aisle. We have had this happen so many times. Even with our age difference, everyone calls us wife/husband. There must be an invisible connection that we can’t see, but is decipherable from feeling. This has happened countless times where complete strangers know we are together even when we are not walking near one another.
Even though we cannot tell anyone, I would jump heart first into this relationship a hundred times over. I will take secrecy over not having this relationship, over and over again.
Uncle: There are several disadvantages. My father can never know the truth, it would break his mind. My niece’s father could never know, it would break his mind also. So that means we can never see our dads together, and they can never know we live together, which is a lot to hide from people when you are talking to them, especially when this is the love of my life, and I want to tell everyone I know, and everyone I don’t know.
Knowing what I know now, I realize that this closeness is only available to those in consang relationships. It is extremely rare to find non-consang relationships where the partners are this in love, and this close, forever feeling as if we are in the honeymoon stage, falling deeper and deeper in love as time beats on. This would be the advantage of this type of relationship. Of course this exists outside of this dynamic for some, but it is so rare to hear of or witness. For example, somehow people know we are together. Complete strangers in stores will walk up to us and say “He went that way,” or “He’s over there.” When we have split up in a store to get separate items, and I am looking for him. I won’t even ask these people where my uncle is, they just walk up to me and tell me he’s on a certain aisle. We have had this happen so many times. Even with our age difference, everyone calls us wife/husband. There must be an invisible connection that we can’t see, but is decipherable from feeling. This has happened countless times where complete strangers know we are together even when we are not walking near one another.
Even though we cannot tell anyone, I would jump heart first into this relationship a hundred times over. I will take secrecy over not having this relationship, over and over again.
Uncle: There are several disadvantages. My father can never know the truth, it would break his mind. My niece’s father could never know, it would break his mind also. So that means we can never see our dads together, and they can never know we live together, which is a lot to hide from people when you are talking to them, especially when this is the love of my life, and I want to tell everyone I know, and everyone I don’t know.
We can’t get insurance together, can’t marry, legally all the assets we have we can put in both of our names, but it could be complicated. If someone found out that we have a husband-wife relationship and someone wanted to pursue it, it could have legal ramifications.
You have to be ready to leave some of your family in order to be happy in the relationship you choose. I think consang relationships are probably the most intense relationships you can be in, given my experience and what I have read of other’s experience. I don’t think I could be in a standard relationship after this. It would always feel empty. I have pictures of my niece when she was a little girl, so I have been around her my whole life off and on so there is a familiar feeling that goes with being with that person. It’s like we have something that no one else has, that we wish we could tell everyone about.
FME: What do you want to say to people who disapprove of your relationship, or disapprove of anyone having this kind of relationship? What's your reply to those who would say that this is one of you preying on the other, and that you can’t truly consent?
Niece: Honestly, I don’t have anything to prove to them, or desire to change their mind. We have found that people are either open-minded to two consenting, and able-minded adults having a relationship, or they are not. I am not sure anything can be said to convince someone otherwise. My viewpoint is if two consenting adults want to be in a relationship with one another, they should be allowed. As long as there is no trauma which is the cause of the consang relationship, and no one is hurting anyone else, why should it matter?
Uncle: I don’t think consent was a problem because she was 30 and I was 60 and this wasn’t our first relationship. We have had many past lives together. I would say to someone who disapproves of this type of relationship that if they feel the need to judge us, or anyone like us, that they should keep their judgment to themselves and go about their own lives. My love life doesn’t concern them.
FME: If you could get legally married, and that included protections against discrimination, harassment, etc., would you? Or is this a different kind of relationship than that?
Niece: This is my dream. If it became legal, I would tell anyone, and everyone that I am married to my uncle, and I would not care if they judged me. I would not care about discrimination, or even harassment. It says more about the person doing the judging, and harassing, than it does us, and I wish the people who don’t approve, receive enough love that one day perhaps they will open up to the idea of people in love, being in love, no matter their relationship, race, religion, sexual orientation, and chosen gender should be allowed to be together. They needn’t approve of being in a consang relationship themselves, but it would be wonderful if their views would stay out of our lives so that we can be allowed to marry, and not be prosecuted for our love.
We will get married in countries where it is allowed. We want to have a coffee table book with marriage certificates in all of the countries we travel to where its legal. We won’t register the marriage so it won’t be legal in the countries where it is not allowed, but I have always dreamed of having a wedding ceremony in every country we can visit.
Uncle: Absolutely. The same day the law was changed we would get married.
FME: Do any of you have children together, and if so, how are they?
Niece: We are both altered, so no children. If I was not born with all of these health conditions, which in my younger years, led to major depressive disorder, and severe anxiety, I would have loved to have kids with my uncle, even though he could potentially pass away earlier than I. The amount of love we share for one another is so immense, raising children together would be magical, and for any child to know the love that this man has to offer them, any child should be so lucky. If we had children, I would tell them the true nature of our relationship, and I would hope that the open communication coming from us, would help to raise open minded children. If they sought to have children with relatives, I would encourage genetic testing, as it is a wise thing to do even if you are not related. As long as these children were happy, I would be happy.
Uncle: We have no children together, I have had a vasectomy and she has had a hysterectomy. I would have loved to have children with her, but it’s not possible.
FME: What advice do you have for someone who may be experiencing these feelings for a relative or family member, especially an uncle or niece?
Niece: I encourage them to go for it if they feel the feelings may be mutual. Had I known the butterflies and excited feelings I was feeling at 19 were because I was so attracted to my uncle, I could have started this incredible partnership 15 years ago. I would have loved to have skipped all of the duds and gone straight into this incredible relationship back then, and it means that I would have more time with my uncle.
Life goes by so quickly, I encourage absolutely everyone who has these feelings to act on them, if they feel safe to do so. I have read of others bridging the subject by asking their family interest what they think about consanguinamory, and I think that is a really great idea on how to broach the subject. If you have a chance to have this kind of connection, please don’t pass it up. Even if the other person or persons end up not being interested, at least you know. I can’t imagine the heartache one may feel if they have these incredible feelings towards a family member, but felt such shame from society or social upbringing, that they never feel safe enough to inquire about a possible relationship.
Uncle: I would say to go slow, build a relationship before telling them the true depth of your attraction because it takes time to come around to the fact that this is even possible. As hard as it is, you are about to experience the most intense feelings you have ever felt in your life, and experience the type of joy that can never be found with anyone else. If I had it to do over again, and I was more brave, I would have said something in 2009 when I found myself first attracted to her. That is my only regret.
FME: What advice do you have for family members and friends who think or know that relatives they know are having these feelings for each other?
Niece: Please think about how hard it is for people in this situation. I don’t believe anyone seeks to have such a hard relationship that is dangerous, and punishable by law, or worse in some countries. So many of us are born with a genetic attraction component, which just like sexual orientation, is not a choice.
If someone you know has these feelings for someone they are related to, please try to think where the family member may be coming from, and even if you do not agree, attempt to hold space for this person. Simply coming from a place of neutrality, is better than coming from a place of non-acceptance/hate, and can even save lives.
Uncle: Try to be understanding and try to understand that discrimination is a very real part of our society.
FME: Do you consider yourself consanguinamorous in orientation, or could you be fulfilled in a relationship with someone who isn’t a close relative?
Niece: I now could never be with anyone that I am not related to. If this relationship were to end tomorrow, then I would not seek to have another relationship. I have been entirely fulfilled, and have had my once-in-a-lifetime relationship. Nothing could compare to what I currently have. The depth of connection, trust, and love in this relationship, I don’t think it is possible with non-family members.
Uncle: At this point I don’t think I could have a relationship that wasn’t consang.
FME: Have you met in-person or do you know anyone else who has experience with consanguinamory or consanguineous sex that you know of?
Niece: Our health insurance agent has lived long term with his sister, and they seem like they are romantically involved, but we did not ask them. Other than my high school best friend who had oral sex with her full biological brother, I do not know of anyone. I would love to meet other consang couples.
Uncle: No, but I would like to. We often talk about meeting other couples that are the same as us.
FME: Any plans for the future?
Niece: We are building an expedition vehicle that we intend to travel the world in. It is slow going because we enjoy each other’s company so much that neither one of us wants to have a full time job. We spend so much time together, we go everywhere together, it is extremely rare for us to be apart, and love each other’s company that we simply would rather have less money, and more time together, than work full time, and complete this vehicle more quickly. We lived in an RV prior to this vehicle build, and love the nomadic life with our animals. There is something very romantic about having a home on wheels where everything you love is with you, but the scenery outside changes, and no one knows us so we can be a couple.
Uncle: To live happily ever after.
FME: Anything else to add?
Niece: Thank you for creating the Full Marriage Equality blog. We love reading the case studies, and having this allows us to not feel so alone.
FME: What do you want to say to people who disapprove of your relationship, or disapprove of anyone having this kind of relationship? What's your reply to those who would say that this is one of you preying on the other, and that you can’t truly consent?
Niece: Honestly, I don’t have anything to prove to them, or desire to change their mind. We have found that people are either open-minded to two consenting, and able-minded adults having a relationship, or they are not. I am not sure anything can be said to convince someone otherwise. My viewpoint is if two consenting adults want to be in a relationship with one another, they should be allowed. As long as there is no trauma which is the cause of the consang relationship, and no one is hurting anyone else, why should it matter?
Uncle: I don’t think consent was a problem because she was 30 and I was 60 and this wasn’t our first relationship. We have had many past lives together. I would say to someone who disapproves of this type of relationship that if they feel the need to judge us, or anyone like us, that they should keep their judgment to themselves and go about their own lives. My love life doesn’t concern them.
FME: If you could get legally married, and that included protections against discrimination, harassment, etc., would you? Or is this a different kind of relationship than that?
Niece: This is my dream. If it became legal, I would tell anyone, and everyone that I am married to my uncle, and I would not care if they judged me. I would not care about discrimination, or even harassment. It says more about the person doing the judging, and harassing, than it does us, and I wish the people who don’t approve, receive enough love that one day perhaps they will open up to the idea of people in love, being in love, no matter their relationship, race, religion, sexual orientation, and chosen gender should be allowed to be together. They needn’t approve of being in a consang relationship themselves, but it would be wonderful if their views would stay out of our lives so that we can be allowed to marry, and not be prosecuted for our love.
We will get married in countries where it is allowed. We want to have a coffee table book with marriage certificates in all of the countries we travel to where its legal. We won’t register the marriage so it won’t be legal in the countries where it is not allowed, but I have always dreamed of having a wedding ceremony in every country we can visit.
Uncle: Absolutely. The same day the law was changed we would get married.
FME: Do any of you have children together, and if so, how are they?
Niece: We are both altered, so no children. If I was not born with all of these health conditions, which in my younger years, led to major depressive disorder, and severe anxiety, I would have loved to have kids with my uncle, even though he could potentially pass away earlier than I. The amount of love we share for one another is so immense, raising children together would be magical, and for any child to know the love that this man has to offer them, any child should be so lucky. If we had children, I would tell them the true nature of our relationship, and I would hope that the open communication coming from us, would help to raise open minded children. If they sought to have children with relatives, I would encourage genetic testing, as it is a wise thing to do even if you are not related. As long as these children were happy, I would be happy.
Uncle: We have no children together, I have had a vasectomy and she has had a hysterectomy. I would have loved to have children with her, but it’s not possible.
FME: What advice do you have for someone who may be experiencing these feelings for a relative or family member, especially an uncle or niece?
Niece: I encourage them to go for it if they feel the feelings may be mutual. Had I known the butterflies and excited feelings I was feeling at 19 were because I was so attracted to my uncle, I could have started this incredible partnership 15 years ago. I would have loved to have skipped all of the duds and gone straight into this incredible relationship back then, and it means that I would have more time with my uncle.
Life goes by so quickly, I encourage absolutely everyone who has these feelings to act on them, if they feel safe to do so. I have read of others bridging the subject by asking their family interest what they think about consanguinamory, and I think that is a really great idea on how to broach the subject. If you have a chance to have this kind of connection, please don’t pass it up. Even if the other person or persons end up not being interested, at least you know. I can’t imagine the heartache one may feel if they have these incredible feelings towards a family member, but felt such shame from society or social upbringing, that they never feel safe enough to inquire about a possible relationship.
Uncle: I would say to go slow, build a relationship before telling them the true depth of your attraction because it takes time to come around to the fact that this is even possible. As hard as it is, you are about to experience the most intense feelings you have ever felt in your life, and experience the type of joy that can never be found with anyone else. If I had it to do over again, and I was more brave, I would have said something in 2009 when I found myself first attracted to her. That is my only regret.
FME: What advice do you have for family members and friends who think or know that relatives they know are having these feelings for each other?
Niece: Please think about how hard it is for people in this situation. I don’t believe anyone seeks to have such a hard relationship that is dangerous, and punishable by law, or worse in some countries. So many of us are born with a genetic attraction component, which just like sexual orientation, is not a choice.
If someone you know has these feelings for someone they are related to, please try to think where the family member may be coming from, and even if you do not agree, attempt to hold space for this person. Simply coming from a place of neutrality, is better than coming from a place of non-acceptance/hate, and can even save lives.
Uncle: Try to be understanding and try to understand that discrimination is a very real part of our society.
FME: Do you consider yourself consanguinamorous in orientation, or could you be fulfilled in a relationship with someone who isn’t a close relative?
Niece: I now could never be with anyone that I am not related to. If this relationship were to end tomorrow, then I would not seek to have another relationship. I have been entirely fulfilled, and have had my once-in-a-lifetime relationship. Nothing could compare to what I currently have. The depth of connection, trust, and love in this relationship, I don’t think it is possible with non-family members.
Uncle: At this point I don’t think I could have a relationship that wasn’t consang.
FME: Have you met in-person or do you know anyone else who has experience with consanguinamory or consanguineous sex that you know of?
Niece: Our health insurance agent has lived long term with his sister, and they seem like they are romantically involved, but we did not ask them. Other than my high school best friend who had oral sex with her full biological brother, I do not know of anyone. I would love to meet other consang couples.
Uncle: No, but I would like to. We often talk about meeting other couples that are the same as us.
FME: Any plans for the future?
Niece: We are building an expedition vehicle that we intend to travel the world in. It is slow going because we enjoy each other’s company so much that neither one of us wants to have a full time job. We spend so much time together, we go everywhere together, it is extremely rare for us to be apart, and love each other’s company that we simply would rather have less money, and more time together, than work full time, and complete this vehicle more quickly. We lived in an RV prior to this vehicle build, and love the nomadic life with our animals. There is something very romantic about having a home on wheels where everything you love is with you, but the scenery outside changes, and no one knows us so we can be a couple.
Uncle: To live happily ever after.
FME: Anything else to add?
Niece: Thank you for creating the Full Marriage Equality blog. We love reading the case studies, and having this allows us to not feel so alone.
Uncle: I think blogs like these help more people than you can even imagine. I hope our story helps just one person have the life that I’m having.
***
[I was able to ask the mother of this woman, who is the sister of this man, a few questions. I initially previewed them here, but I have been able to ask her more, so I will be linking to a new, separate entry with that interview soon. UPDATE: Here it is.]
***
[I was able to ask the mother of this woman, who is the sister of this man, a few questions. I initially previewed them here, but I have been able to ask her more, so I will be linking to a new, separate entry with that interview soon. UPDATE: Here it is.]
*****
Clearly, these lovers are consenting adults who aren't hurting anyone, and yet they can't even exercise their basic human right to legally marry as things are now. They love each other and are happy, yet they are denied fundamental rights. They can't even be open about their love without risking harassment or much worse. This is such a beautiful relationship!
Why should they be denied their rights? There’s no good reason. We need to recognize that all adults should be free to be with any and all consenting adults as they mutually consent, and part of doing that is adopting relationship rights for all, including full marriage equality sooner rather than later. People are being hurt because of a denial of their basic human rights to love each other freely.
You can read other interviews I have done here. As you'll see, there are people from all walks of life, around the world, who are in consanguinamorous relationships.
If you are in a relationship like this and are looking for help or others you can talk with, read this.
If you want to be interviewed about your "forbidden" relationship, or that of someone you know, connect with me by checking under the "Get Connected" tab there at the top of the page or emailing me at fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com or see here.
If you know someone who is in a relationship like this, please read this.
Thank you, Niece and Uncle, for telling us about your intergenerational, consanguinamorous relationship. We wish you well in your relationship! And thanks to your mother/sister for providing her perspective as well.
If you are in love and want to get married urgently, you can opt for an urgent court marriage service in Delhi. This is a convenient and hassle-free way to get married without any delay. The court marriage procedure in India is simple and can be completed within a few days. You just need to submit the required documents and pay the fees, and you will be legally married - https://www.court-marriages.in/p/contact-us-for-urgent-court-marriage.html
ReplyDeleteThank you we want to go there anyway. And we will get married while we are there.
ReplyDeleteI'm a friend who reacted badly because I liked the guy and found out about him and his niece. That was ages ago. I understand now but I don't know how to repair that friendship. Any thoughts?
ReplyDeletePlease see here:
Deletehttps://marriage-equality.blogspot.com/2022/11/a-change-of-heart-into-becoming-ally.html
Its never to late but understand they have lots to loose and you have nothing to loose. But at the same time we love having ally's. Go slow see if it's rebuildable
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