Good Medicine and a Loving Family

We have another exclusive interview to bring you. 

People in consanguinamorous relationships are everywhere, though consanguinamorists tend to be closeted. Fortunately, some are willing to be interviewed for this blog. As a result, Full Marriage Equality has featured scores of exclusive interviews with lovers denied the freedom to marry and have that marriage treated equally under the law. Most can’t even be out of the closet or they’ll face prosecution under absurd incest laws, which, instead of focusing on abuse, also target consensual relationships.

The man interviewed below should be free to legally marry his lover and the mother of his son, or simply to be together as a couple without having to hide, yet they can’t. Prejudice can be deadly. They are consenting adults who aren’t hurting anyone; why should they have been denied their rights? In much of the world, they could be criminally prosecuted for their love, and might be persecuted severely in addition.

Read the interview below and see for yourself what this man has to say about the love he shares with his partner. You may think this relationship is interesting, or it might make you uncomfortable, or you might find it ideal, even highly erotic and romantic, but whatever your reaction, should lovers like these be denied equal access to marriage or any other rights simply because they love each other this way?

Also please note that someone you love, respect, and admire could be in a similar relationship right now. Should they be attacked and denied rights because of the "incest" label?

***Mild descriptions of sexuality are included in this interview.***


*****

FULL MARRIAGE EQUALITY: Describe yourselves.

Derek: We currently reside in the southern USA. I was born and grew up in a rural area. A hard work ethic was instilled in me early in life doing family farming and gardening. I joined the Army after graduation from high school and served eight years six months and one day. I attended college and worked successfully as a healthcare executive many years.

I was the youngest child; my two siblings are older than me by eight and ten years. 

My ex-wife left when my daughter was four, and we never heard from her again. I was an only parent. I raised my daughter alone with no help.

Today, I am a disabled veteran and only work as a domestic engineer. I enjoy gardening, spending time with my dogs, chickens, ducks, and my daughter-wife and son-grandson; we live together.

We are both above-average looking, non-smokers, watch our diets, exercise as often as we can, and are extremely hygiene-oriented. I am American Indian and she is mostly Caucasian. 

We are both highly educated, and she is a medical practitioner. We are in the top twenty-five percent economically of people in our geographical area. 

FME: Are you married or have you been legally and/or ceremonially married to your daughter?

We are not legally married. We never felt that was necessary given our commitment to each other. 

FME:  How would you describe your genders? How would you describe your sexual orientation and your relationship orientation?

We are male and female. We are both bisexual. We enjoy threesomes with another man and with another woman, but we only play as a couple. 

FME: Just to be clear, you're in a romantic and sexual relationship with your biological daughter?

She is my biological daughter. 

FME: What was your childhood like? What was family life like? Were alternative lifestyles/sex discussed in your family, and if so, how? Can you describe your sexual awakening? How was hers? Did you talk with her about sex?

My childhood was rather dysfunctional. I had a terrible, alcoholic father; abusive to the ultimate degree. Mother never drank but she was just as bad as he was in her own respect. My family life sucked. 

Sex was never talked about and I was left to my own devices to explore, educate, and learn what I liked. Alternative sex lifestyles were never discussed. My sexual awakening came in the Army. I call it "Forbidden Fruit Syndrome". I had more bi experiences in the military than one could imagine. I knew I was bisexual then, and kink was never out of the question. 

I was totally monogamous with my ex-wife. My ex-wife was a ball of raging hormones sexually and was insatiable. 


FME: How did sexual affection become a part of your relationship with your daughter?

I had never looked or thought about her in a sexual way. But she takes after her mother and became rather assertive sexually, including masturbating under her panties when she knew I'd see.

The sexual atmosphere was thick. I mentally started asking my self about different scenarios playing out and what my reaction or action would be. I didn't know when, but I knew something was coming.

She told me she shaved her vagina. We discussed it - safety, cleanliness, use a new razor, use conditioner as a lubricant, etc. Then, after we'd gone out to eat and had come home, she asked me to follow her to my bedroom. She dropped her shorts, wasn't wearing panties and asked me to look at her vagina to see if it was “normal”. She begged me to touch her. 

The long and short of it was I performed oral on her. We'd do that on a regular basis. Eventually she asked me for intercourse.

FME: Can you describe your feelings during that first time?

My feeling the first time, was euphoric, cosmic, tantalizing. She did not reciprocate oral that night but it was less than two months before she asked to try. 

The next day I had buyer's remorse big time. Even though we did not stop, I explained to her the depth of trouble I would be in should she let anyone know. After about three months, I felt normal, less worried, and as time went on, I knew our secret was just that - ours. I was very happy but I also knew that she knew she had the freedom to stop at any point and things would be perfect.

FME: Before this had you ever thought this would be possible or enjoyable; did you have any opinion one way or the other about close relatives or family members being together?

Never did I think it was OK. Never did I think it was even possible much less enjoyable. I had no prior experience with relatives at all. But consenting adults should be able to do whatever they want to do in the privacy of their homes.

FME: How do you describe the sex/lovemaking now? Taboo? Natural? Especially erotic? Some people say familial eroticism is inherently kinky, but I have found that for many it doesn't feel kinky. What about for you?

Of course it's taboo - still! But it is also natural, erotic, we watch adult movies, clips, look at pictures of what looks good to us, she dresses in what we call "SPT" sexy panty time. We don't think of it as kinky as threesomes. The sex is by far the best sex I have ever had. We do engage in BDSM, rope play, sensory deprivation. We visit adult sex stores often.

FME: Tell us about the threesomes. You’ve said they’ve been with males and females. Who were these people to you? Friends? Strangers? How did you or they initiate these threesomes? Did any of them know of your relation, and if so, how did they react to that?

I wasn't so encapsulated with our situation at the time that I didn't think she would want to experience other guys, girls, whatever. We discussed this at length and she assured me if and when she got ready she'd let me know. We did watch threesomes on adult TV and she said the idea of two guys, me being one, made her excited. I knew she had made out with several girls she went to school with and liked it.

I asked a guy friend of mine if he was interested. He was blown away at first but found it erotic. He agreed so we had our first male/male/female threesome. Shortly after, she brought home a friend and we had a female/female/male threesome. We have had few strangers in our bed. We make a full disclosure of our relationship before we get to far into a conversation if a stranger is involved. Also, we've had the same four people that we knew and still see three of them today for an occasional tryst. 

FME: Describe your relationship now. Is this a marriage, a union, girlfriend/boyfriend, what? Are you more like spouses or family-with-benefits or something else?

We live together as a a couple and we share a bed. Some people think we are husband and wife. Others know we are daddy and daughter. What little family we have left doesn't live close, and they think we are just living as daddy-daughter. Three of our friends know our situation and we trust these people. 

FME: What are your favorite things about her?

She is intelligent, hard working, level-headed, gorgeous, and a sexy person. 

FME:  Does anyone else in your life know the full, true nature of your relationship? What kind of steps, if any, have you had to take to keep your privacy?

We figured this was not something we could disclose, unless we both agreed, like with our threesome partners. No one in our family is aware. I have spoken with an attorney and he told me it was none of anyone's business, and we did not owe anyone an explanation. We have very few friends, but the ones we have are close friends. 

FME: Having to hide the full nature of your relationship from some people can be a disadvantage. Can you describe how that has been? 

It has not been a disadvantage for us at all. We just do not make our relationship an issue, and let others think what they think. People make assumptions on their own. 

FME: What do you want to say to people who disapprove of your relationship, or disapprove of anyone having this kind of relationship? What's your reply to those who would say that this is a father preying on his daughter, and that she couldn’t and can’t truly consent? 

For the few that know, they know our story. They know I did not prey on her and that she was just curious and exploring and it went from there. Only those people who have never heard the entire story judge and only the close-minded are critical. 

FME: Tell us about your son. Did you intend to have child together or did you just let nature take its course?

We planned this. This was before her med school. We researched the odds about health. He's healthy.

FME: Does he know the truth about you being his father and her father and she being his mother and sister?

Both call me Daddy. She and I made the decision early on that if he ever asked, then and only then would we disclose it. He has not brought up anything on the subject. 

FME: What do you have to say to people who say you two shouldn’t be allowed to have children?

What we do is of no concern to others unless we ask you to pay for our lifestyle.

FME: If you could get legally married, and that included protections against discrimination, harassment, etc., would you? 

If getting married was beneficial other than financially we definitely would consider. 

FME: What advice do you have for someone who may be experiencing these feelings for a relative or family member, especially a father or daughter?

Be careful. Be aware. Consult expert advice, legal and otherwise. 

FME: What advice do you have for family members and friends who think or know that relatives they know are having these feelings for each other?

 

Be supportive. Do not judge. To each his own.

FME: Have you met in-person or do you know anyone else who has experience with consanguinamory or consanguineous sex that you know of?

We have met several people in our situation. Not many; less than five couples.

*****

Clearly, these lovers were consenting adults who aren't hurting anyone, and yet they can't even exercise their basic human right to marry as things are now. They love each other and are happy, yet they are denied fundamental rights. They can't even be open about their love without risking harassment or much worse.

Why should they be denied their rights? There’s no good reason. We need to recognize that all adults should be free to be with any and all consenting adults as they mutually consent, and part of doing that is adopting relationship rights for all, including full marriage equality sooner rather than later. People are being hurt because of a denial of their basic human rights to love each other freely.

You can read other interviews I have done here. As you'll see, there are people from all walks of life, around the world, who are in consanguinamorous relationships.

If you are in a relationship like this and are looking for help or others you can talk with, read this.

If you want to be interviewed about your "forbidden" relationship, or that of someone you know, connect with me by checking under the "Get Connected" tab there at the top of the page or emailing me at fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com or see here.

If you know someone who is in a relationship like this, please read this.

Thank you, Derek, for doing this interview about your intergenerational, consanguinamorous relationship. We wish you well in your relationship and in parenthood!