Another Couple Denied the Freedom to Marry

"Anonymous" is an attractive woman with an attractive boyfriend. They appear to be a happy couple, the kind of people you might work with or live next to. But they are denied their right to marry. They can’t even be open about their relationship, which is apparently the result of genetic sexual attraction. She generously took the time to be interviewed.

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FME: Describe your background.

ANONYMOUS: I'm in my early twenties, live in the UK, and have no children.


What is your relationship to your lover?

He is my half-brother


How would you describe the nature of your relationship?

Boyfriend and girlfriend, but also best friends.


Did you grow up with him?

We did not grow up together. We only met a few years ago. Now we live with our father.


When did you first notice you had feelings for him? Were they romantic, sexual, curious, an intense attraction, what? Did it surprise you?

I was attracted to him from the moment we met. It was a mixture of lust and curiosity. I was very surprised, confused and ashamed of these feelings.


How do you feel about the lovemaking side of your relationship?

Great. It's just a natural way of showing our love.


Are you monogamous, in a closed relationship with each other?

Yes, we’re in a closed relationship with each other.


Does anyone know the full, true nature of your relationship and how did they find out? How have they reacted?

A few close friends know, and they accept it. We sat them down and explained the situation to them in full and that seemed to help.


How did you start making love with each other?

The first time was spontaneous. We were watching the TV, cuddling, and then one thing lead to another. Prior to that, we had indulged in foreplay and oral sex. My brother started that. At the very start, it was touching using being drunk as an excuse (not that it was ever questioned.) Then I visited him in his home city when we lived apart, and decided that we'd share a hotel room and a double bed which lead to foreplay, but nothing more as I was wary of pushing the situation too soon. It was only when he lived here that things turned sexual because I couldn't hold back anymore.


Can you describe that first event where you gave yourselves to each other, especially your feelings?

It was instinct. We'd both waited so long that we couldn't resist any longer.


Do you think relatives have some things better or some advantages that unrelated lovers might not, such as more intense feelings and lovemaking? What are some of the advantages and disadvantages?

I think you're less likely to take each other for granted and therefore the relationship is better for it. The disadvantage is, of course, having to sneak around and not be totally yourselves unless you're away from home.


Do you have feelings for other close biological relative that are anything like the ones you have for him, whether they are as intense or not?

No.


What do you want to say to people who disapprove of your love?

Mind your own business. It's completely consensual and the world would be a happier place if everyone learned to accept and love a little more.


Would you get legally married if you could, and if that included protection from things such as bullying and workplace discrimination based on your relationship?

We have discussed it and yes we would.


Any plans for the future?

Explore the world together and move in together by ourselves.


Do you personally know, or have you met in person, other couples like you (that you are aware of)?

No, but I would like to.


What advice do you have to someone who has romantic or sexual feelings for a close biological relative?

Play it safe at first, test the waters with flirting, etc. Don't go in all guns blazing because you could destroy the relationship you have if you do that. Be patient and don't worry, you are not a freak.


Is there is anything else you want to add?

Live your life. Don't care what anyone else thinks. So long as you're not harming anyone, go for it!

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There’s no good reason these lovers should have to hide, or be denied their right to marry. They are another example of why we need full marriage equality sooner rather than later.

Read other interviews here.