Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Prejudice Towards Polyamorists


Polyamory is a hot topic in Australia these days, with some people calling for solidarity between polyamorous people & their allies and monogamous LGBT people & their allies as we push for full marriage equality and relationship rights for all adults. Craig Harper wrote about polyamory recently, or more precisely, prejudice towards the polyamorous...
The conversation got really interesting when a lady called in to talk about her polyamorous approach to relationships.
Now, I’m not really sure what I would expect such a person to sound like on the radio (never considered it) but this particular caller soundly highly intelligent, articulate, balanced and very comfortable with her life and her choices. She certainly didn’t sound like the weird, immoral, evil, nutcase that some of the subsequent callers made her out to be. In fact, she sounded much happier and nicer than all of the venomous haters who phoned in (following her call) to unleash their judgment, vitriol and condemnation on the “amoral slut”. As one charming listener labelled her.
There are amoral monogamists as well as amoral polyamorists, though polyamorists can't pull off being amoral for very long as they have more people calling them on their bad behavior. When two or more people simultaneously confront you, it is much more difficult to conclude it is the other person who has the problem and not you.

There are polyamorists who lead lives of very strict morality compared to many self-proclaimed monogamists.

To be honest, her choices would not be my choices but that doesn’t make them wrong. Or mine right. As I drove and listened, I wondered why so many people were obsessed with ‘being right’ and criticising people who don’t concur with their thinking, theology or life choices. Interestingly, some of the most venomous calls came from religious people who apparently skipped over that bit in their (insert preferred theological text here) about love, tolerance and not judging. Some religious types (not all) do way more harm than good for their brand.

So to speak.
Yes. They are an embarrassment to all of the other people in their faith traditions who don't spend their energy pointing fingers in judgment of people they don't even know.


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