The more we face our fears about love and sexuality and the more we push unnatural and harmful boundaries, the more we paradoxically have less to be afraid of. Our sexual choices become more authentic, unfettered by useless social constructs, prejudices or shame.
That is part of why I try to do right here.
That is why I believe that spiritually speaking, sex is more than just opening our bedroom to a variety of experiences, partners and practices. Specifically, total sexual freedom — the idea that we can love and be loved in ways that don’t fit neatly in a normative box — is different from wholesale sexual contacts. Again, all judgment aside, we can now differentiate ‘promiscuity’ — which often feeds into and manifests fears, limitations and restrictions – from ‘sexual freedom’ – which is a choice rooted in courage.
I defend the rights of consenting adults to have all the sex they want without fear of discrimination, prosecution, or bullying, but I don't personally encourage people to continue to do something they find is destructive to themselves or others. We are all different, and for some, monogamy is what is best for them. For others, polyfidelity. And for others, much more seemingly casual encounters There are countless constructs. I encourage everyone to be themselves and allow others to be themselves. For someone who needs monogamy, one encounter with another could be considered promiscuity. It isn't the same for a poly person.
“Very few people have given themselves complete sexual freedom so they continue to make agreements that cause repression, dishonesty and distance,” writes Robert Silber of link. To have total sexual freedom means to accept responsibility for oneself. When we take full responsibility for our lives, we won’t seek to control others, because we won’t be living in a state of repression and denial.”
It is an excellent piece. Go read it.
No comments:
Post a Comment
To prevent spam, comments will have to be approved, so your comment may not appear for several hours. Feedback is welcome, including disagreement. I only delete/reject/mark as spam: spam, vulgar or hateful attacks, repeated spouting of bigotry from the same person that does not add to the discussion, and the like. I will not reject comments based on disagreement, but if you don't think consenting adults should be free to love each other, then I do not consent to have you repeatedly spout hate on my blog without adding anything to the discourse.
If you want to write to me privately, then either contact me on Facebook, email me at fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com, or tell me in your comment that you do NOT want it published. Otherwise, anything you write here is fair game to be used in a subsequent entry. If you want to be anonymous, that is fine.
IT IS OK TO TALK ABOUT SEX IN YOUR COMMENTS, BUT PLEASE CHOOSE YOUR WORDS CAREFULLY AS I WANT THIS BLOG TO BE AS "SAFE FOR WORK" AS POSSIBLE. If your comment includes graphic descriptions of activity involving minors, it's not going to get published.