Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Monogamy Is Good... For Some

Clarisse Thorn starts off “In Praise of Monogamy” distinguishing three different forms of nonmonogamy: polyamory, swinging, and cheating.

Just in case it needs to be said: I never advocate cheating, ever. As for the first two, I know both poly people and swingers that I consider totally decent and wonderful folks!

I couldn’t agree more.

Yet one thing that often gets lost in conversations about all these options is the advantages of monogamy.

Yes. Although I think polyamory is great, I do not think it is for everyone, and I do think some people are better off being monogamous and just was monogamists should not dismiss the legitimacy of polyamory, nor should polyamorists dismiss the legitimacy of monogamy. My support for full marriage equality means that I also support the right to heterosexual monogamous noncongsanguineous marriage, if that is what someone wants for themselves.

She then goes on to list and explain some advantages of monogamy, which she says include: jealousy management for people who seem predisposed to jealousy; focus; societal acceptance, which is something we’re working on; and some people just like it better.

It’s a good article.

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