Monogamy, heterosexuality, and other such traditional ideas are not certainties that are inherent in human nature, they are popular, modernist, conservative, right wing ideals.
Polyamory in particular is something that I am drawn to because it just seems to make so much sense. Having attempted to talk to more than a few friends about this, I realise that a lot of people see polyamorists as being selfish, nymphomanic, or desperate. That really annoys me because I think it takes a lot more for a person to be a polyamorist than to be a monogamist – you can’t be jealous or possessive or massively insecure; it involves having so much more faith, and honesty, and acceptance, than monogamy does.
He goes on to describe a common scenario, when one person is pressured to choose one lover and completely reject another.
But, digressing, my point is that in such stories, the rejected person is heartbroken, the person who made the choice is always never entirely satisfied and on some level resents whomever they’ve chosen for taking their other loved one away, and the person who was chosen feels insecure in the knowledge that they aren’t enough for the person they love. It’s just such a pathetic state of affairs.
It can be like that.
And while the idea of being with someone for the rest of your life may seem fantastic when you’re just beginning your relationship, once you’re deeply into it and you find someone else who you are incredibly, incredibly attracted to, how can you resist them, knowing that maybe that second person is the love of your life, the person you were meant to be with, so to speak, and that you will go your entire life never knowing what it could be like being with them?
Those who want monogamy should have it. Those who want polyamory should have it.
You are completely right...the ideals and 'practices' of polyamory are an amazing way to live life and never have to wonder what could have been.
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